The Way Children See Things!
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
BedRoom Habits......
AQUARIUS
Jan 21 - Feb 19Ruling Planet: URANUS.The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns. Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship; it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns Aquarius on.
They are very entertaining in bed and are probably the most inventive of all the signs. Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot!
Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. They are very particular about hygiene and contraception and sleeping around holds little interest for them.
FAVE POSITIONMutual masturbation.
BEST SEX TOYA Dildo. Whether gay, straight, male or female, Aquarians will have some fun with this.
AQUARIUS MALE IN BEDHe has amazing staying power in the sack. He can keep at it and control himself for as long as it takes for YOU to finish! He's up for anything too. Role playing, S&M, posing nude in the backyard at 5am he's just not into 3somes, swinging or open relationships if YOU are involved. He'll do that for fun, but not with the love of his life.
AQUARIUS FEMALE IN BEDShe's looking for a lover who will be upfront with her, but until she finds him, she will make do with whoever is available. LOVE freaks her out. She likes keeping her emotions under tight control and may come across as cold, but she's just protecting herself.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON AQUARIUSLie down as if you are top and tailing and gently tickle and stroke the ankles and the calves. Don't tickle for giggles, but tease. After awhile, do the same with your tongue. Lick up, down and all around. Anywhere above the foot and below the knee is fair game. Lightly nip the ankle of your Aquarian, they may laugh, but it's not laughter from tickles, it's a release of tension that will most definitely lead to some action!
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Feb 20 - March 20Ruling Planet: NEPTUNEThe God in charge of delicious dreams, dangerous deceptions and sexual fantasies Sexually speaking, Pisces is putty in your hands. Anything you want, anything, is only a question away. If you're looking for someone who will go the extra mile to discover all your secret moan zones, then Pisces is for you!
When a typical Piscean makes out, it's an act of romance rather than pure pleasure. Pisces is the sign of love itself. They are so romantic and want satin sheets and candles, poetry and a full moon. Music also gets them in the mood.
One of their least appetizing traits is their ability to become very,very jealous. Sometimes they are so scared of losing the fairy-tale romance that they ruin the happy ending themselves.
FAVE POSITION Pisces is all about Oral affections!
BEST SEX TOYA copy of the Kama Sutra, since your fish is into almost anything
PISCES MALE IN BEDHe is romantic and has the reputation of being a womanizer. The girlfriend of a Piscean man should keep her eye on the ball as he can be a bit flighty.
But he does make an excellent lover. He's from the old school that sex should be an almost out of body experience, and if he's showering his attentions on you, you're in for a hell of a good ride!
PISCES FEMALE IN BEDShe needs romance. It's the very air that she breathes. She needs to be held gently and whispered sweet nothings to but when it comes to between the sheets action, she's never happy doing the same ol', same ol' when she knows there are more exciting options at hand.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON PISCESThe Pisces Zesty-zone is their feet! If you want to make Pisces your Love Slave, start with a warm, scented footbath and soak their feet for 10 minutes. Then sit in front of them, cross-legged, and rub their feet firmly through the water. Use kneading motions that run from their ankles to the tips of their toes. After 5 minutes, get a scrub brush and clean their tootsies with lots of TLC, dry them off and lightly massage peppermint oil all over their feet, paying close attention to between their toes. Pisces REALLY gets off on this! Once oiled up, gently kiss each toe, one by one. Then let your tongue take over and you're in baby!!!
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ARIES
March 21-April 20Ruling Planet: MARSThe bonk now/think later God of War, aggression and action! Sexually, Aries is an explosion waiting to happen! The excitement is often in the chase more than the actual conquest though and while they may appear to want to dominate, they do not want a submissive partner. Routine brings boredom to sex for Aries, so if you're only comfortable with the missionary position, go for another sign, but if you like forceful personalities and enjoy pretending you're a human Twistie, then you've found paradise with an Aries.
FAVE POSITIONAlways on top and always in charge
BEST SEX TOYHandcuffs! Like I said, Aries likes to take charge!
ARIES MALE IN BEDThe Aries male is loud, domineering and 100% stud! He's from the bump n grind school of lovemaking so if you're looking for romantic dinners by candlelight and long walks on the beach, keep looking! He's the original 5-minute man so if you're turned on by ultra-macho grunt-and-groaning types, you've just found your ticket to heaven! He's not prone to cheat unless you bore him in bed and he likes sex fast and furious baby!
ARIES FEMALE IN BEDShe views sex as more of a physical act than something from a soppy romance novel. If you're a bored exec and want to find out what it's like to be treated like a piece of meat, then go for a one night stand with an Aries chick. She'll be gone before you wake up and may not remember your name the next time you meet. She's got a touch of KINK to her personality so don't get freaked out when she talks dirty or puts you over her knee for a spanking. She's all woman, but are you man enough to handle her?
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON ARIESIf you want to seduce an Aries, running your fingers through their hair is an awesome starting point! And licking and nibbling around their face or neck will get them going too! Just be careful to keep your saliva at bay. Drool is not cool!
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TAURUS
April 21 - May 21Ruling Planet: VENUSThe Goddess in charge of love, beauty and sex
Taureans are ahead of the game when it comes to love coz they are ruled by VENUS, the planet of Love! Taurus has all the qualities a lover desires, including sensuality, loyalty and faithfulness. When a typical Taurus makes love, it's the most physical and natural pleasure in the world. They believe the romantic approach to sex almost always pays off so they will happily cook dinner, buy flowers, and light candles for someone they wanna bang. They don't like to rush things and take everything, including sex, slowly.
FAVE POSITIONThe one Taurus enjoys most is the Missionary. Some may say this is so unadventurous, but Taurus is very practical and this is the most comfortable.
BEST SEX TOYA battery powered "erotic massager"
TAURUS MALE IN BEDThe Taurean man needs a woman who will want to stay home to eat and make love. He can be stubborn and is known to sulk like a little boy, but he LOVES making up!! (Rrrrow!)
He likes to take things slow and gently and can last for hours, always waiting for HER to finish before rolling over to sleep.
TAURUS FEMALE IN BEDShe is great at back massages and sex in general. She makes an art of lovemaking. Just kissing her can bring some men to the big "O". Her touch is gentle and tender, it excites and caresses and when in the mood, she too can go for hours at a time, days on end.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON TAURUSThere's nothing Taurus enjoys more than having their neck kissed and their earlobes nibbled. Light, feathery caresses up and down the neck followed by gentle licks, no biting, will make a female writhe with delight and a male stand at attention within seconds.
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GEMINI
May 22 - June 21Ruling Planet: MERCURYThe swiftest God in the skies, who also happens to be in charge of ultr-extreme raunchy talk.
Talking about sex is Gemini's favourite hobby and doing it comes a close second. Gemini's love flirting and lap up attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes that's all they're looking for.
They need a lot of variety when it comes to sex - dirty weekends away, a quickie in a shop doorway, serious groping under the table at a fancy restaurant. A lot of Gemini's are bisexual too and can often be drawn to those of the same sex.
FAVE POSITIONAs long as it's different every time, they're not fussy, but if they must choose, it's that naughty number right after 68, since they can come up for air if they need to.
BEST SEX TOYAny illustrated book about kinky sex, so Gemini can pick up some wild, new ideas
GEMINI MALE IN BEDHe likes to give AND receive and can be quite inventive. He’s a lights on, in front of the mirror kinda guy and if you make a few subtle noises and talk a wee bit dirty, he'll be very happy.
GEMINI FEMALE IN BEDShe is more interested in IQ than private parts. If she can't respect the intellect, then satisfaction is not possible for her. She may sleep around forever and never find her true love and she is not the most faithful of the signs. She likes sex on the run, in an airplane toilet, in the storeroom at work, in the backseat of a car�???
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON GEMINIFocus on the shoulders, arms and legs of a Gemini and you're headed for the good books. They love a good massage and their hands are so sensitive that even having their fingernails played with sends shivers up their spine!
Kiss up and down each of your Gemini's arms, sneak in a few licks, nips and nibbles. If you get one or two yelps, then you know you're doing something right, then, move onto the fingers, slowly kiss, lick, nip and nibble each fingertip, then pull out the killer move - suck on each finger, slowly, as if it's a lollipop. I'll almost offer a money back guarantee on this one working!
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CANCER
June 22 - July 23Ruling Planet: THE MOONWhich isn't a planet at all but the satellite responsible for this water sign's many mood swings!
Love and sex go together for Cancer. They need to feel secure in love before they can relax in sex and Cancer often feels a little bit guilty after doing the deed because they usually associate sex with babies, especially the women, who either get pregnant at the drop of a hat or take longer than usual.
All Cancers WANT to be parents!Cancers become sexually excited when they feel secure. They are turned on by home cooked meals and partners who love kids. In so many ways, Cancer is the dream partner!
FAVE POSITIONAny position that's comfortable and involves Cancer lying flat on their back with all their sensitive areas exposed!
BEST SEX TOYA drink or joint that will relax the overly-cautious crab!
CANCER MALE IN BEDHe is a sensitive lover and will put his partner's needs before his own. He has a tenderness about him that drives women wild!
If the Cancer guy decides he's in it for the long haul, he'll do whatever it takes to keep his lover happy in and out of the bedroom. Oh, and he's a BREAST man!!
CANCER FEMALE IN BEDShe oozes sexiness and is born to mate!! Compliments and kissing will win her over, so as you're nibbling on her ear, whisper "you're so beautiful" to get her quivering. Perhaps the Vincent (Big Brother) growl would work on a Cancer woman?
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CANCERConcentrate on the breasts and pecs of Cancer to really get them going. Start by kissing and brushing up against them. Licking the Cancer female's nipple through her top will excite her, but don't 'dive right in' coz you're likely to scare her.
It's the complete opposite for the Cancer male who will LOVE it if you get straight to the point. Squeeze his pecs and bite his bod and you'll have him bouncing off the walls in no time!
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LEO
July 24 - August 23Ruling Planet: THE SUNWhich isn't a planet at all, but a star, and just like Leo's opinion of themselves, it's the centre of our solar system!
Leos can be very 'into themselves' when they bonk. It's not that they don't make their partner feel special, it's just that they often forget about them as they secretly high-five themselves for scoring again! Leo does actually want more from a partner than just sex though. Leo wants love and friendship too. They can be very romantic, but when they get into bed, it's not an experience they're about to have, it's a show!
They like to perform... and they take requests! "Doing it" is theultimate stress buster for Leo and they are pretty damn good at it, but they need constant praise for their outstanding performance.
FAVE POSITIONReceiving 'oral affections', since Leo is all about getting serviced!
BEST SEX TOYA camera, or a game of Strip Poker will get the cat purring or perhaps you can use them both together!
LEO MALE IN BEDYou are the King of the Jungle and expect to be treated that way! You are a good lover because you don't like to fail at anything. You are sexy and have an aura of sexiness that is difficult to deny. But, you will let anyone adore you, so your partner has to make the effort or you will pad off to your next Lioness!!
LEO FEMALE IN BEDYou are elegant and sexy without even trying. Men love you and women want to be you. You like to play cat and mouse with men and command respect. In bed, you are a real panther and can scare the pants off most men. You adore raw sex, so your partner should go with you and enjoy it. You're a once in a lifetime experience!
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON LEOA Leo's 'moan zone' is his or her back. First of all, ask your Leo to roll onto his/her tummy. Start with a gentle scratch that runs from the top of the ass to the base of the skull. I'm not talking about tender tickles or a tantalizing tease - I mean a REAL back scratch, coz if there's one thing cat’s love, it's a scratch!
After a minute or so, get out the massage oil and spill it into asnakey pattern on Leo's back. Then rub all over. Keep doing this until you know Leo is ready to roll over. If they start falling asleep, give them a gentle prod in a delicate place! Once Leo is ready to roll over, don't let them! Leo will be excited by your control. YOU decide when it's time to 'flip your feline' over and get into the good stuff!
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VIRGO
August 24 - September 23Ruling Planet: MercuryThe God in charge of intellect and speed�???but don't worry because Virgo likes to take their time in the sack!!
Virgos have two sides to their personality. The Virgin and the Vixen. They may want you to THINK they are all sweet and virginal, but they are definitely NOT! However, Virgos are looking for a long term partner, not a one night stand or an affair! They tend to seduce with finesse, charm and subtlety so you may not even realize you're being lured by a Virgo!! Once Virgo has been in a relationship for awhile, they get engrossed in housework and things like that, which can cause a serious dip in libido. Do NOT let this happen! They are definitely more of a "can we cuddle instead" sign that a 'let's get it on!' one when committed.
FAVE POSITIONAlmost anything, as long as it involves eye contact!
BEST SEX TOYIt's more of a game. Write down five wild sex acts and put them in a bowl. Get Virgo to pick one out at random, and then do what you're told!! Virgo LOVES spontaneous sexuality!
VIRGO MALE IN BEDYou can be quite boring at times because you have set views on how a woman should be. You don't mean to criticize or offend, but your perfectionist ways may drive your lover loopy! You DO have some kinky ideas though, but it is difficult to get to the bottom of your passion! You are a creature of habit, so if your lover can get you into the habit of sleeping with her, who knows what might happen?
VIRGO FEMALE IN BEDYou are hardworking and careful about your appearance, but you really do fantasize about getting down and dirty! You are a secret romantic and crave the perfect lover. Since the perfect lover doesn't exist, you'll take what you can get! You are quite insecure and need a partner who will adore you. You have strong passion beneath that practical exterior and are just waiting for someone to unearth it!
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON VIRGOVirgo's have a VERY sexually sensitive tummy!! If you wanna make them putty in your hands, stroke, lick and kiss their stomach!! The area from the bellybutton DOWN! Once you have them squirming, you can have anything you want!! Just remember to keep one hand on their tummy at all times!!
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LIBRA
September 24 - October 23Ruling Planet: Venus -The planet in charge of beauty, love peace, and stirring sensuality
Libra is one of the sexiest signs in the zodiac, but if Libra can't getwhat they want from one lover, they will opt for two! They are notorious for having double standards in that situation too. They'll look you in the eye and say "never cheat on me, coz I would never do it to you", even when they have a hot night of passion planned with someone else! Librans are more turned on 'giving' than 'receiving'. They have a big heart and are the least selfish sign of the Zodiac.
Libras are not very open about their thoughts or fantasies. They'drather say nothing than tell the truth and offend or embarrass you. In bed, it takes a while for them to be comfortable enough to tell you exactly what they want.
FAVE POSITIONAs long as they are lying down, they're happy!
BEST SEX TOYK.Y. Jelly. I will say no more!
LIBRA MALE IN BEDThe Libra man sees sex as an exciting adventure and he'd be very keen to do it in kinky places like a restaurant toilet! He likes being a bad boy if there's a chance he might get caught. He'll try out any fantasy you have, but whether or not you can keep a tight hold on his heart remains to be seen. However, he can be a bit of a pushover, and is perfect husband material, and he'd prefer his lover to take the lead. He is romantic and considerate but may suffer from Premature Ejaculation!
LIBRA FEMALE IN BEDThe only thing that separates Libra men and women is what's between their legs! Libra girl wants a strong man who understands that she needs her individuality and freedom. She is turned off by burping, farting, and bad breath. Good personal hygiene is crucial if you want to get to 2nd base. Librans are very good at lying to get their own way. When your Libra girl groans in bed, look into her eyes to make sure she's not 'faking it'.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON LIBRALibra's Love Zone is their lower back and butt, so please, squeeze and pat your Libra's butt whenever you get a chance. When you're kissing, reach under his or her top and stroke the lower part of their back, starting in the middle and working your way down to their butt. Take your time and be gentle! To really drive your Libra wild? Have you ever heard of the term 'Rimming'??? Does it surprise you that a high percentage of Libras are gay?
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SCORPIO
October 24 - November 22Ruling Planet: PLUTOThe Roman God of the dead, beginnings and endings. Which basically means that Scorpios add novel differences to any relationship.
Scorpios are very possessive. They will tense up if you even LOOK at another hottie across the room. But they can be relied on to always be there for you if you need them. You may never really know what your Scorpio is thinking though, because to them, Knowledge is power and they are very good at putting on a straight face to cover up any emotion they are feeling. Scorpios love sex. The dirtier, the better. Get them excited by revealing your filthiest fantasy and offering to act it out.
FAVE POSITION:Anything, as long as it involves dominating your ass.
BEST SEX TOY:Ben Wah Balls for the girls, and a Riding Crop for the boys
SCORPIO MALE IN BEDHis sexuality is so strong, it will make you dizzy!! If you are lucky enough to be with a Scorpio boy, you will always be satisfied!! There's a rumour that the Scorpio man is the most skilled in bed. It's as true as a black man has a giant wang!!! Most are pretty good!! The only thing you don't wanna do is piss him off. Every little thing u do that he doesn't like, he will file away in his little mental rolodex. Piss him off one too many times, and he will wreak his revenge!!!
SCORPIO FEMALE IN BEDShe may look like a quiet, shy girl, but in bed she is NOT! She is a wildly passionate woman, who is DYNAMO is the bedroom. Just don't piss her off either, coz she can more vengeful than a Scorpio man, and she has no problem causing a scene! Don't talk about other women, or play hard to get, because she will get u back, and it's a game of one-upmanship you will never win.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SCORPIOSince this is one of the horniest signs, it makes sense that their moan zone is between their legs! Then again, their big head (or their mind) is just as easy to turn on. Talking dirty and teasing your Scorpio will get them ready and randy in a flash!! Without getting too graphic, the magic words for today are RUB, RUB, RUB.
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SAGITTARIUS
November 23 - December 22Ruling Planet: JUPITERGod of money, luck and good times between the sheets. Sagos are playful, laid back and oh-so fun to party with. They arewild, and may be the BADDEST party people you ever meet! One thing to be wary of is that Sagos like to talk BULLSHIT!
Don't believe everything they tell you because they are kings at 'talking it up'. Sagos probably make better friends than lovers, but if you happen to score a one-nighter with them, be prepared to do stuff you've NEVER done before! Sagos are spontaneous and adventurous and most have probably been caught doing it somewhere public.
When they find the right lover, they will give it 100% as long as the commitment is returned.
FAVE POSITION:They are up for anything. Quality AND Quantity.
BEST SEX TOY:Handwrite a sexual fantasy of yours and leave it on their pillow. You'll be surprised at what happens next!
SAGITTARIAN MALE IN BEDEven if he's fat, balding and middle aged, he can still pull the chicks. It's his love and pursuit of happiness that draws the babes to him. Think "Austin Powers" baby, yeah! He is a wee bit selfish though, so be prepared for an "all about me" attitude in the sack. He LOVES doing it, and if you start holding out on him, he's likely to get it somewhere else. He will either amaze his partner with his sexual expertise or be absolute trash in bed!
SAGITTARIAN FEMALE IN BEDThe Sago woman is a handful! She changes her mind more often than she shaves her armpits, is blunt, oversensitive and takes offense at the strangest things. She's adventurous in the bedroom and also has no problems cheating if her needs are not fulfilled. But can u handle her open-minded sexuality? She will hide her emotions from you, but don't make the mistake of hiding yours from her. She's looking for someone she can trust 100%, but is quite hypocritical since she can be very untrustworthy herself.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SAGITTARIUSHips and thighs are extremely sensual for a Sago, so concentrate on massaging and stroking that area and the place in between! Don't be afraid to ask your Sago if you're doing it right coz they would LOVE to tell you! The best way to get them going is to grope their inner thigh in a public place!
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CAPRICORN
December 23 - January 20Ruling Planet: SATURN -The God who oversees time, discipline and dedication, which means Capricorn can go the distance - with major staying power - in bed and beyond!!
Capricorns are very good at hiding their emotions, so it's often hard to tell when they are truly, deeply in love. If you have a load of cash, you can almost bet on admiration from a Capricorn because the goat is turned on by money. Like I said before, Capricorn has great sexual stamina and the ability to go all night if they want to!
FAVE POSITION:Spooning! Goat boys and girls love to take, or be taken from behind.
BEST SEX TOY: An office desk to "bond" on, or an erotic video will loosen up the randy goat.
CAPRICORN MALE IN BEDImagination isn't a strong suit for Capricorn so don't expect acrobatics in the sack. Sex with him could possibly be as boring as watching paint dry and he tends to be a little bit selfish in that area too. BUT you can definitely count on him to be faithful if he has committed to you.
CAPRICORN FEMALE IN BEDShe is strong and confident and likes to run the show! She's a tough nut to crack but once inside her shell, she's as sweet as caramel. Her fave position may be missionary, but she seeks excitement in new locations, so experiment with different venues to keep it interesting.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CAPRICORNCapricorns are the most anal signs of the zodiac, so buttering them up will take a bit of effort. Believe it or not, their erotic area is the knees! Lightly stroke their legs, paying close attention to the knee region. Licking, kissing, and nibbling the area will get them squirming.
Jan 21 - Feb 19Ruling Planet: URANUS.The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns. Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship; it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns Aquarius on.
They are very entertaining in bed and are probably the most inventive of all the signs. Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot!
Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. They are very particular about hygiene and contraception and sleeping around holds little interest for them.
FAVE POSITIONMutual masturbation.
BEST SEX TOYA Dildo. Whether gay, straight, male or female, Aquarians will have some fun with this.
AQUARIUS MALE IN BEDHe has amazing staying power in the sack. He can keep at it and control himself for as long as it takes for YOU to finish! He's up for anything too. Role playing, S&M, posing nude in the backyard at 5am he's just not into 3somes, swinging or open relationships if YOU are involved. He'll do that for fun, but not with the love of his life.
AQUARIUS FEMALE IN BEDShe's looking for a lover who will be upfront with her, but until she finds him, she will make do with whoever is available. LOVE freaks her out. She likes keeping her emotions under tight control and may come across as cold, but she's just protecting herself.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON AQUARIUSLie down as if you are top and tailing and gently tickle and stroke the ankles and the calves. Don't tickle for giggles, but tease. After awhile, do the same with your tongue. Lick up, down and all around. Anywhere above the foot and below the knee is fair game. Lightly nip the ankle of your Aquarian, they may laugh, but it's not laughter from tickles, it's a release of tension that will most definitely lead to some action!
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Feb 20 - March 20Ruling Planet: NEPTUNEThe God in charge of delicious dreams, dangerous deceptions and sexual fantasies Sexually speaking, Pisces is putty in your hands. Anything you want, anything, is only a question away. If you're looking for someone who will go the extra mile to discover all your secret moan zones, then Pisces is for you!
When a typical Piscean makes out, it's an act of romance rather than pure pleasure. Pisces is the sign of love itself. They are so romantic and want satin sheets and candles, poetry and a full moon. Music also gets them in the mood.
One of their least appetizing traits is their ability to become very,very jealous. Sometimes they are so scared of losing the fairy-tale romance that they ruin the happy ending themselves.
FAVE POSITION Pisces is all about Oral affections!
BEST SEX TOYA copy of the Kama Sutra, since your fish is into almost anything
PISCES MALE IN BEDHe is romantic and has the reputation of being a womanizer. The girlfriend of a Piscean man should keep her eye on the ball as he can be a bit flighty.
But he does make an excellent lover. He's from the old school that sex should be an almost out of body experience, and if he's showering his attentions on you, you're in for a hell of a good ride!
PISCES FEMALE IN BEDShe needs romance. It's the very air that she breathes. She needs to be held gently and whispered sweet nothings to but when it comes to between the sheets action, she's never happy doing the same ol', same ol' when she knows there are more exciting options at hand.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON PISCESThe Pisces Zesty-zone is their feet! If you want to make Pisces your Love Slave, start with a warm, scented footbath and soak their feet for 10 minutes. Then sit in front of them, cross-legged, and rub their feet firmly through the water. Use kneading motions that run from their ankles to the tips of their toes. After 5 minutes, get a scrub brush and clean their tootsies with lots of TLC, dry them off and lightly massage peppermint oil all over their feet, paying close attention to between their toes. Pisces REALLY gets off on this! Once oiled up, gently kiss each toe, one by one. Then let your tongue take over and you're in baby!!!
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ARIES
March 21-April 20Ruling Planet: MARSThe bonk now/think later God of War, aggression and action! Sexually, Aries is an explosion waiting to happen! The excitement is often in the chase more than the actual conquest though and while they may appear to want to dominate, they do not want a submissive partner. Routine brings boredom to sex for Aries, so if you're only comfortable with the missionary position, go for another sign, but if you like forceful personalities and enjoy pretending you're a human Twistie, then you've found paradise with an Aries.
FAVE POSITIONAlways on top and always in charge
BEST SEX TOYHandcuffs! Like I said, Aries likes to take charge!
ARIES MALE IN BEDThe Aries male is loud, domineering and 100% stud! He's from the bump n grind school of lovemaking so if you're looking for romantic dinners by candlelight and long walks on the beach, keep looking! He's the original 5-minute man so if you're turned on by ultra-macho grunt-and-groaning types, you've just found your ticket to heaven! He's not prone to cheat unless you bore him in bed and he likes sex fast and furious baby!
ARIES FEMALE IN BEDShe views sex as more of a physical act than something from a soppy romance novel. If you're a bored exec and want to find out what it's like to be treated like a piece of meat, then go for a one night stand with an Aries chick. She'll be gone before you wake up and may not remember your name the next time you meet. She's got a touch of KINK to her personality so don't get freaked out when she talks dirty or puts you over her knee for a spanking. She's all woman, but are you man enough to handle her?
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON ARIESIf you want to seduce an Aries, running your fingers through their hair is an awesome starting point! And licking and nibbling around their face or neck will get them going too! Just be careful to keep your saliva at bay. Drool is not cool!
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TAURUS
April 21 - May 21Ruling Planet: VENUSThe Goddess in charge of love, beauty and sex
Taureans are ahead of the game when it comes to love coz they are ruled by VENUS, the planet of Love! Taurus has all the qualities a lover desires, including sensuality, loyalty and faithfulness. When a typical Taurus makes love, it's the most physical and natural pleasure in the world. They believe the romantic approach to sex almost always pays off so they will happily cook dinner, buy flowers, and light candles for someone they wanna bang. They don't like to rush things and take everything, including sex, slowly.
FAVE POSITIONThe one Taurus enjoys most is the Missionary. Some may say this is so unadventurous, but Taurus is very practical and this is the most comfortable.
BEST SEX TOYA battery powered "erotic massager"
TAURUS MALE IN BEDThe Taurean man needs a woman who will want to stay home to eat and make love. He can be stubborn and is known to sulk like a little boy, but he LOVES making up!! (Rrrrow!)
He likes to take things slow and gently and can last for hours, always waiting for HER to finish before rolling over to sleep.
TAURUS FEMALE IN BEDShe is great at back massages and sex in general. She makes an art of lovemaking. Just kissing her can bring some men to the big "O". Her touch is gentle and tender, it excites and caresses and when in the mood, she too can go for hours at a time, days on end.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON TAURUSThere's nothing Taurus enjoys more than having their neck kissed and their earlobes nibbled. Light, feathery caresses up and down the neck followed by gentle licks, no biting, will make a female writhe with delight and a male stand at attention within seconds.
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GEMINI
May 22 - June 21Ruling Planet: MERCURYThe swiftest God in the skies, who also happens to be in charge of ultr-extreme raunchy talk.
Talking about sex is Gemini's favourite hobby and doing it comes a close second. Gemini's love flirting and lap up attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes that's all they're looking for.
They need a lot of variety when it comes to sex - dirty weekends away, a quickie in a shop doorway, serious groping under the table at a fancy restaurant. A lot of Gemini's are bisexual too and can often be drawn to those of the same sex.
FAVE POSITIONAs long as it's different every time, they're not fussy, but if they must choose, it's that naughty number right after 68, since they can come up for air if they need to.
BEST SEX TOYAny illustrated book about kinky sex, so Gemini can pick up some wild, new ideas
GEMINI MALE IN BEDHe likes to give AND receive and can be quite inventive. He’s a lights on, in front of the mirror kinda guy and if you make a few subtle noises and talk a wee bit dirty, he'll be very happy.
GEMINI FEMALE IN BEDShe is more interested in IQ than private parts. If she can't respect the intellect, then satisfaction is not possible for her. She may sleep around forever and never find her true love and she is not the most faithful of the signs. She likes sex on the run, in an airplane toilet, in the storeroom at work, in the backseat of a car�???
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON GEMINIFocus on the shoulders, arms and legs of a Gemini and you're headed for the good books. They love a good massage and their hands are so sensitive that even having their fingernails played with sends shivers up their spine!
Kiss up and down each of your Gemini's arms, sneak in a few licks, nips and nibbles. If you get one or two yelps, then you know you're doing something right, then, move onto the fingers, slowly kiss, lick, nip and nibble each fingertip, then pull out the killer move - suck on each finger, slowly, as if it's a lollipop. I'll almost offer a money back guarantee on this one working!
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CANCER
June 22 - July 23Ruling Planet: THE MOONWhich isn't a planet at all but the satellite responsible for this water sign's many mood swings!
Love and sex go together for Cancer. They need to feel secure in love before they can relax in sex and Cancer often feels a little bit guilty after doing the deed because they usually associate sex with babies, especially the women, who either get pregnant at the drop of a hat or take longer than usual.
All Cancers WANT to be parents!Cancers become sexually excited when they feel secure. They are turned on by home cooked meals and partners who love kids. In so many ways, Cancer is the dream partner!
FAVE POSITIONAny position that's comfortable and involves Cancer lying flat on their back with all their sensitive areas exposed!
BEST SEX TOYA drink or joint that will relax the overly-cautious crab!
CANCER MALE IN BEDHe is a sensitive lover and will put his partner's needs before his own. He has a tenderness about him that drives women wild!
If the Cancer guy decides he's in it for the long haul, he'll do whatever it takes to keep his lover happy in and out of the bedroom. Oh, and he's a BREAST man!!
CANCER FEMALE IN BEDShe oozes sexiness and is born to mate!! Compliments and kissing will win her over, so as you're nibbling on her ear, whisper "you're so beautiful" to get her quivering. Perhaps the Vincent (Big Brother) growl would work on a Cancer woman?
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CANCERConcentrate on the breasts and pecs of Cancer to really get them going. Start by kissing and brushing up against them. Licking the Cancer female's nipple through her top will excite her, but don't 'dive right in' coz you're likely to scare her.
It's the complete opposite for the Cancer male who will LOVE it if you get straight to the point. Squeeze his pecs and bite his bod and you'll have him bouncing off the walls in no time!
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LEO
July 24 - August 23Ruling Planet: THE SUNWhich isn't a planet at all, but a star, and just like Leo's opinion of themselves, it's the centre of our solar system!
Leos can be very 'into themselves' when they bonk. It's not that they don't make their partner feel special, it's just that they often forget about them as they secretly high-five themselves for scoring again! Leo does actually want more from a partner than just sex though. Leo wants love and friendship too. They can be very romantic, but when they get into bed, it's not an experience they're about to have, it's a show!
They like to perform... and they take requests! "Doing it" is theultimate stress buster for Leo and they are pretty damn good at it, but they need constant praise for their outstanding performance.
FAVE POSITIONReceiving 'oral affections', since Leo is all about getting serviced!
BEST SEX TOYA camera, or a game of Strip Poker will get the cat purring or perhaps you can use them both together!
LEO MALE IN BEDYou are the King of the Jungle and expect to be treated that way! You are a good lover because you don't like to fail at anything. You are sexy and have an aura of sexiness that is difficult to deny. But, you will let anyone adore you, so your partner has to make the effort or you will pad off to your next Lioness!!
LEO FEMALE IN BEDYou are elegant and sexy without even trying. Men love you and women want to be you. You like to play cat and mouse with men and command respect. In bed, you are a real panther and can scare the pants off most men. You adore raw sex, so your partner should go with you and enjoy it. You're a once in a lifetime experience!
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON LEOA Leo's 'moan zone' is his or her back. First of all, ask your Leo to roll onto his/her tummy. Start with a gentle scratch that runs from the top of the ass to the base of the skull. I'm not talking about tender tickles or a tantalizing tease - I mean a REAL back scratch, coz if there's one thing cat’s love, it's a scratch!
After a minute or so, get out the massage oil and spill it into asnakey pattern on Leo's back. Then rub all over. Keep doing this until you know Leo is ready to roll over. If they start falling asleep, give them a gentle prod in a delicate place! Once Leo is ready to roll over, don't let them! Leo will be excited by your control. YOU decide when it's time to 'flip your feline' over and get into the good stuff!
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VIRGO
August 24 - September 23Ruling Planet: MercuryThe God in charge of intellect and speed�???but don't worry because Virgo likes to take their time in the sack!!
Virgos have two sides to their personality. The Virgin and the Vixen. They may want you to THINK they are all sweet and virginal, but they are definitely NOT! However, Virgos are looking for a long term partner, not a one night stand or an affair! They tend to seduce with finesse, charm and subtlety so you may not even realize you're being lured by a Virgo!! Once Virgo has been in a relationship for awhile, they get engrossed in housework and things like that, which can cause a serious dip in libido. Do NOT let this happen! They are definitely more of a "can we cuddle instead" sign that a 'let's get it on!' one when committed.
FAVE POSITIONAlmost anything, as long as it involves eye contact!
BEST SEX TOYIt's more of a game. Write down five wild sex acts and put them in a bowl. Get Virgo to pick one out at random, and then do what you're told!! Virgo LOVES spontaneous sexuality!
VIRGO MALE IN BEDYou can be quite boring at times because you have set views on how a woman should be. You don't mean to criticize or offend, but your perfectionist ways may drive your lover loopy! You DO have some kinky ideas though, but it is difficult to get to the bottom of your passion! You are a creature of habit, so if your lover can get you into the habit of sleeping with her, who knows what might happen?
VIRGO FEMALE IN BEDYou are hardworking and careful about your appearance, but you really do fantasize about getting down and dirty! You are a secret romantic and crave the perfect lover. Since the perfect lover doesn't exist, you'll take what you can get! You are quite insecure and need a partner who will adore you. You have strong passion beneath that practical exterior and are just waiting for someone to unearth it!
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON VIRGOVirgo's have a VERY sexually sensitive tummy!! If you wanna make them putty in your hands, stroke, lick and kiss their stomach!! The area from the bellybutton DOWN! Once you have them squirming, you can have anything you want!! Just remember to keep one hand on their tummy at all times!!
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LIBRA
September 24 - October 23Ruling Planet: Venus -The planet in charge of beauty, love peace, and stirring sensuality
Libra is one of the sexiest signs in the zodiac, but if Libra can't getwhat they want from one lover, they will opt for two! They are notorious for having double standards in that situation too. They'll look you in the eye and say "never cheat on me, coz I would never do it to you", even when they have a hot night of passion planned with someone else! Librans are more turned on 'giving' than 'receiving'. They have a big heart and are the least selfish sign of the Zodiac.
Libras are not very open about their thoughts or fantasies. They'drather say nothing than tell the truth and offend or embarrass you. In bed, it takes a while for them to be comfortable enough to tell you exactly what they want.
FAVE POSITIONAs long as they are lying down, they're happy!
BEST SEX TOYK.Y. Jelly. I will say no more!
LIBRA MALE IN BEDThe Libra man sees sex as an exciting adventure and he'd be very keen to do it in kinky places like a restaurant toilet! He likes being a bad boy if there's a chance he might get caught. He'll try out any fantasy you have, but whether or not you can keep a tight hold on his heart remains to be seen. However, he can be a bit of a pushover, and is perfect husband material, and he'd prefer his lover to take the lead. He is romantic and considerate but may suffer from Premature Ejaculation!
LIBRA FEMALE IN BEDThe only thing that separates Libra men and women is what's between their legs! Libra girl wants a strong man who understands that she needs her individuality and freedom. She is turned off by burping, farting, and bad breath. Good personal hygiene is crucial if you want to get to 2nd base. Librans are very good at lying to get their own way. When your Libra girl groans in bed, look into her eyes to make sure she's not 'faking it'.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON LIBRALibra's Love Zone is their lower back and butt, so please, squeeze and pat your Libra's butt whenever you get a chance. When you're kissing, reach under his or her top and stroke the lower part of their back, starting in the middle and working your way down to their butt. Take your time and be gentle! To really drive your Libra wild? Have you ever heard of the term 'Rimming'??? Does it surprise you that a high percentage of Libras are gay?
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SCORPIO
October 24 - November 22Ruling Planet: PLUTOThe Roman God of the dead, beginnings and endings. Which basically means that Scorpios add novel differences to any relationship.
Scorpios are very possessive. They will tense up if you even LOOK at another hottie across the room. But they can be relied on to always be there for you if you need them. You may never really know what your Scorpio is thinking though, because to them, Knowledge is power and they are very good at putting on a straight face to cover up any emotion they are feeling. Scorpios love sex. The dirtier, the better. Get them excited by revealing your filthiest fantasy and offering to act it out.
FAVE POSITION:Anything, as long as it involves dominating your ass.
BEST SEX TOY:Ben Wah Balls for the girls, and a Riding Crop for the boys
SCORPIO MALE IN BEDHis sexuality is so strong, it will make you dizzy!! If you are lucky enough to be with a Scorpio boy, you will always be satisfied!! There's a rumour that the Scorpio man is the most skilled in bed. It's as true as a black man has a giant wang!!! Most are pretty good!! The only thing you don't wanna do is piss him off. Every little thing u do that he doesn't like, he will file away in his little mental rolodex. Piss him off one too many times, and he will wreak his revenge!!!
SCORPIO FEMALE IN BEDShe may look like a quiet, shy girl, but in bed she is NOT! She is a wildly passionate woman, who is DYNAMO is the bedroom. Just don't piss her off either, coz she can more vengeful than a Scorpio man, and she has no problem causing a scene! Don't talk about other women, or play hard to get, because she will get u back, and it's a game of one-upmanship you will never win.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SCORPIOSince this is one of the horniest signs, it makes sense that their moan zone is between their legs! Then again, their big head (or their mind) is just as easy to turn on. Talking dirty and teasing your Scorpio will get them ready and randy in a flash!! Without getting too graphic, the magic words for today are RUB, RUB, RUB.
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SAGITTARIUS
November 23 - December 22Ruling Planet: JUPITERGod of money, luck and good times between the sheets. Sagos are playful, laid back and oh-so fun to party with. They arewild, and may be the BADDEST party people you ever meet! One thing to be wary of is that Sagos like to talk BULLSHIT!
Don't believe everything they tell you because they are kings at 'talking it up'. Sagos probably make better friends than lovers, but if you happen to score a one-nighter with them, be prepared to do stuff you've NEVER done before! Sagos are spontaneous and adventurous and most have probably been caught doing it somewhere public.
When they find the right lover, they will give it 100% as long as the commitment is returned.
FAVE POSITION:They are up for anything. Quality AND Quantity.
BEST SEX TOY:Handwrite a sexual fantasy of yours and leave it on their pillow. You'll be surprised at what happens next!
SAGITTARIAN MALE IN BEDEven if he's fat, balding and middle aged, he can still pull the chicks. It's his love and pursuit of happiness that draws the babes to him. Think "Austin Powers" baby, yeah! He is a wee bit selfish though, so be prepared for an "all about me" attitude in the sack. He LOVES doing it, and if you start holding out on him, he's likely to get it somewhere else. He will either amaze his partner with his sexual expertise or be absolute trash in bed!
SAGITTARIAN FEMALE IN BEDThe Sago woman is a handful! She changes her mind more often than she shaves her armpits, is blunt, oversensitive and takes offense at the strangest things. She's adventurous in the bedroom and also has no problems cheating if her needs are not fulfilled. But can u handle her open-minded sexuality? She will hide her emotions from you, but don't make the mistake of hiding yours from her. She's looking for someone she can trust 100%, but is quite hypocritical since she can be very untrustworthy herself.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SAGITTARIUSHips and thighs are extremely sensual for a Sago, so concentrate on massaging and stroking that area and the place in between! Don't be afraid to ask your Sago if you're doing it right coz they would LOVE to tell you! The best way to get them going is to grope their inner thigh in a public place!
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CAPRICORN
December 23 - January 20Ruling Planet: SATURN -The God who oversees time, discipline and dedication, which means Capricorn can go the distance - with major staying power - in bed and beyond!!
Capricorns are very good at hiding their emotions, so it's often hard to tell when they are truly, deeply in love. If you have a load of cash, you can almost bet on admiration from a Capricorn because the goat is turned on by money. Like I said before, Capricorn has great sexual stamina and the ability to go all night if they want to!
FAVE POSITION:Spooning! Goat boys and girls love to take, or be taken from behind.
BEST SEX TOY: An office desk to "bond" on, or an erotic video will loosen up the randy goat.
CAPRICORN MALE IN BEDImagination isn't a strong suit for Capricorn so don't expect acrobatics in the sack. Sex with him could possibly be as boring as watching paint dry and he tends to be a little bit selfish in that area too. BUT you can definitely count on him to be faithful if he has committed to you.
CAPRICORN FEMALE IN BEDShe is strong and confident and likes to run the show! She's a tough nut to crack but once inside her shell, she's as sweet as caramel. Her fave position may be missionary, but she seeks excitement in new locations, so experiment with different venues to keep it interesting.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CAPRICORNCapricorns are the most anal signs of the zodiac, so buttering them up will take a bit of effort. Believe it or not, their erotic area is the knees! Lightly stroke their legs, paying close attention to the knee region. Licking, kissing, and nibbling the area will get them squirming.
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
A lack of answers is partly what makes sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) so frightening. SIDS is the leading cause of death among infants who are 1 month to 1 year old, but despite years of research and numerous studies, SIDS is still unpredictable and unpreventable. However, research into the causes of SIDS has led doctors to recommend steps parents can take to reduce the risk of SIDS in their infants. As more parents begin to follow that advice, the number of deaths from SIDS is dropping.
Searching for AnswersSIDS is frequently described as a parent's worst nightmare because it strikes without warning, usually in seemingly healthy babies. As the name implies, SIDS is the sudden and unexplained death of an infant who is younger than 1 year old. Most SIDS deaths are associated with sleep (hence the common reference to "crib death"), and infants who die of SIDS show no signs of suffering.
While most conditions or diseases usually are diagnosed by the presence of specific symptoms, SIDS is a diagnosis of exclusion, given only after all other possible causes of death have been ruled out through an autopsy, an examination of the death scene, and a complete review of the infant's medical history. These procedures help distinguish true SIDS deaths from those resulting from accidents, abuse, and previously undiagnosed conditions, such as cardiac or metabolic disorders.
When considering which babies could be most at risk, Marj Hershberger, a certified pediatric nurse practitioner, notes that no single risk factor is likely to be sufficient to cause a SIDS death. Rather, several risk factors combined may contribute to cause an at-risk infant to die of SIDS.
According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), the incidence of SIDS is greatest in infants younger than 6 months of age and increases during cold weather. African-American infants are two times more likely to die of SIDS than white infants, and Native Americans are about three times more likely than whites. More boys than girls fall victim to SIDS. Other potential risk factors include:
smoking, drinking, or drug use during pregnancy
poor prenatal care
prematurity or low birth-weight
mothers younger than 20
smoke exposure following birth
stomach sleeping
Foremost among the risk factors, however, is stomach sleeping. Numerous studies from Europe and Australia found a higher incidence of SIDS among babies placed on their stomachs to sleep than among those on their backs or sides. Some researchers have hypothesized that stomach sleeping puts pressure on the child's jaw, therefore narrowing the airway and hampering breathing.
Another theory is that stomach sleeping can increase an infant's risk of "rebreathing" his own exhaled air, particularly if the infant is sleeping on a soft mattress or with bedding, stuffed toys, or a pillow near his face. In that scenario, the soft surface could create a small enclosure around the baby's mouth and trap exhaled air. As the baby breathes exhaled air, the oxygen level in his body drops and carbon dioxide accumulates. Eventually, this lack of oxygen could contribute to SIDS.
Also, infants who succumb to SIDS may have an abnormality in the arcuate nucleus, a part of the brain that may help control breathing and awakening during sleep. If a baby is breathing stale air and not getting enough oxygen, the brain usually triggers the baby to wake up and cry. That movement changes the breathing and heart rate, making up for the lack of oxygen. But a problem with the arcuate nucleus could deprive the baby of this involuntary reaction and put him at greater risk for SIDS.
Going Back to SleepThe striking evidence that stomach sleeping might contribute to the incidence of SIDS led the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) to recommend in June 1992 that all healthy infants younger than 1 year of age be put to sleep on their backs (also known as the supine position). The AAP used the slogan "Back to Sleep" to remind parents of the recommended supine sleeping position. The Back to Sleep campaign, sponsored by the NICHD in partnership with the AAP, the SIDS Alliance, and the Association of SIDS and Infant Mortality Programs, distributes free literature, videos, and public service announcements urging that babies be placed on their backs to sleep.
The campaign has had dramatic success. Prior to the campaign, 70% of babies in the United States were stomach sleeping. By 1997, only 21% were sleeping on their stomachs, and the SIDS rates had dropped by 43%. Still, SIDS remains the leading cause of death in young infants, so it's important to keep reminding parents about the necessity of back sleeping.
According to Hershberger, "It's a cultural problem for us to switch our babies from stomach to back. We don't want to do it because our mothers and grandmothers have always told us we're supposed to put that baby [on his stomach]."
Many parents fear that babies put to sleep on their backs would choke on spit-up or vomit. According to the AAP, however, there is no increased risk of choking for healthy infants who sleep on their backs. (For infants with chronic gastroesophageal reflux or certain upper airway malformations, sleeping on the stomach may be the better option. The AAP urges parents to consult with their child's doctor in these cases to determine the best sleeping position for the baby.)
Some parents may also be concerned about positional plagiocephaly, a condition in which babies develop a flat spot on the back of their heads from spending too much time lying on their backs. Since the Back to Sleep campaign, this condition has become quite common - but it is usually easily treatable by changing your baby's position frequently and allowing for more "tummy time" while they are awake.
Of course, once babies can roll over consistently - usually around 4 to 7 months - they may choose not to stay on their backs all night long. At this point, it's fine to let babies pick a sleep position on their own.
Tips for Reducing the Risk of SIDSIn addition to placing healthy infants on their backs to sleep, the AAP suggests the following measures to help reduce the risk of SIDS:
Place your baby on a firm mattress to sleep, never on a pillow, waterbed, sheepskin, or other soft surface. Do not put fluffy blankets, comforters, stuffed toys, or pillows near the baby to prevent rebreathing.
Make sure your baby does not get too warm while sleeping. Keep the room at a temperature that feels comfortable for an adult in a short-sleeve shirt. To avoid overheating, cover the baby only with a light blanket that reaches no further than the shoulders. Some researchers suggest that a baby who gets too warm could go into a deeper sleep, making it more difficult to awaken.
Do not smoke, drink, or use drugs while pregnant and do not expose your baby to secondhand smoke. NICHD figures indicate that children of mothers who smoked during pregnancy are three times more likely to die of SIDS than those whose mothers were smoke-free; exposure to secondhand smoke doubles a baby's risk of SIDS. Researchers speculate that smoking might affect the central nervous system, starting prenatally and continuing after birth, which could place the baby at increased risk.
Receive early and regular prenatal care.
Make sure your baby has regular well-baby checkups.
Breastfeed if possible. Although there is no evidence that directly links breastfeeding with a decreased rate of SIDS, breast milk is thought to keep babies healthy.
If your baby has gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), be sure to follow your child's doctor's guidelines on feeding and sleep positions.
Losing a child to SIDS invariably makes a family ask questions. "An infant death leaves many unanswered questions. It causes intense grief for parents and for the whole family," Hershberger says. In searching for an explanation, however, it is important that parents do not latch on to misinformation. "Parents need to know that SIDS is not caused by vomiting and choking or other minor illnesses," she continues. "It's not caused by vaccines or other immunizations. It's not contagious. SIDS is not child abuse, and SIDS is not the cause of every unexpected infant death."
For parents who have experienced a SIDS death, there are many groups, including the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Alliance, that provide grief counseling and contacts to local support groups. Meanwhile, growing public awareness of SIDS and the steps to reduce infants' risk of sudden death hopefully will leave fewer parents searching for answers in the future
Searching for AnswersSIDS is frequently described as a parent's worst nightmare because it strikes without warning, usually in seemingly healthy babies. As the name implies, SIDS is the sudden and unexplained death of an infant who is younger than 1 year old. Most SIDS deaths are associated with sleep (hence the common reference to "crib death"), and infants who die of SIDS show no signs of suffering.
While most conditions or diseases usually are diagnosed by the presence of specific symptoms, SIDS is a diagnosis of exclusion, given only after all other possible causes of death have been ruled out through an autopsy, an examination of the death scene, and a complete review of the infant's medical history. These procedures help distinguish true SIDS deaths from those resulting from accidents, abuse, and previously undiagnosed conditions, such as cardiac or metabolic disorders.
When considering which babies could be most at risk, Marj Hershberger, a certified pediatric nurse practitioner, notes that no single risk factor is likely to be sufficient to cause a SIDS death. Rather, several risk factors combined may contribute to cause an at-risk infant to die of SIDS.
According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), the incidence of SIDS is greatest in infants younger than 6 months of age and increases during cold weather. African-American infants are two times more likely to die of SIDS than white infants, and Native Americans are about three times more likely than whites. More boys than girls fall victim to SIDS. Other potential risk factors include:
smoking, drinking, or drug use during pregnancy
poor prenatal care
prematurity or low birth-weight
mothers younger than 20
smoke exposure following birth
stomach sleeping
Foremost among the risk factors, however, is stomach sleeping. Numerous studies from Europe and Australia found a higher incidence of SIDS among babies placed on their stomachs to sleep than among those on their backs or sides. Some researchers have hypothesized that stomach sleeping puts pressure on the child's jaw, therefore narrowing the airway and hampering breathing.
Another theory is that stomach sleeping can increase an infant's risk of "rebreathing" his own exhaled air, particularly if the infant is sleeping on a soft mattress or with bedding, stuffed toys, or a pillow near his face. In that scenario, the soft surface could create a small enclosure around the baby's mouth and trap exhaled air. As the baby breathes exhaled air, the oxygen level in his body drops and carbon dioxide accumulates. Eventually, this lack of oxygen could contribute to SIDS.
Also, infants who succumb to SIDS may have an abnormality in the arcuate nucleus, a part of the brain that may help control breathing and awakening during sleep. If a baby is breathing stale air and not getting enough oxygen, the brain usually triggers the baby to wake up and cry. That movement changes the breathing and heart rate, making up for the lack of oxygen. But a problem with the arcuate nucleus could deprive the baby of this involuntary reaction and put him at greater risk for SIDS.
Going Back to SleepThe striking evidence that stomach sleeping might contribute to the incidence of SIDS led the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) to recommend in June 1992 that all healthy infants younger than 1 year of age be put to sleep on their backs (also known as the supine position). The AAP used the slogan "Back to Sleep" to remind parents of the recommended supine sleeping position. The Back to Sleep campaign, sponsored by the NICHD in partnership with the AAP, the SIDS Alliance, and the Association of SIDS and Infant Mortality Programs, distributes free literature, videos, and public service announcements urging that babies be placed on their backs to sleep.
The campaign has had dramatic success. Prior to the campaign, 70% of babies in the United States were stomach sleeping. By 1997, only 21% were sleeping on their stomachs, and the SIDS rates had dropped by 43%. Still, SIDS remains the leading cause of death in young infants, so it's important to keep reminding parents about the necessity of back sleeping.
According to Hershberger, "It's a cultural problem for us to switch our babies from stomach to back. We don't want to do it because our mothers and grandmothers have always told us we're supposed to put that baby [on his stomach]."
Many parents fear that babies put to sleep on their backs would choke on spit-up or vomit. According to the AAP, however, there is no increased risk of choking for healthy infants who sleep on their backs. (For infants with chronic gastroesophageal reflux or certain upper airway malformations, sleeping on the stomach may be the better option. The AAP urges parents to consult with their child's doctor in these cases to determine the best sleeping position for the baby.)
Some parents may also be concerned about positional plagiocephaly, a condition in which babies develop a flat spot on the back of their heads from spending too much time lying on their backs. Since the Back to Sleep campaign, this condition has become quite common - but it is usually easily treatable by changing your baby's position frequently and allowing for more "tummy time" while they are awake.
Of course, once babies can roll over consistently - usually around 4 to 7 months - they may choose not to stay on their backs all night long. At this point, it's fine to let babies pick a sleep position on their own.
Tips for Reducing the Risk of SIDSIn addition to placing healthy infants on their backs to sleep, the AAP suggests the following measures to help reduce the risk of SIDS:
Place your baby on a firm mattress to sleep, never on a pillow, waterbed, sheepskin, or other soft surface. Do not put fluffy blankets, comforters, stuffed toys, or pillows near the baby to prevent rebreathing.
Make sure your baby does not get too warm while sleeping. Keep the room at a temperature that feels comfortable for an adult in a short-sleeve shirt. To avoid overheating, cover the baby only with a light blanket that reaches no further than the shoulders. Some researchers suggest that a baby who gets too warm could go into a deeper sleep, making it more difficult to awaken.
Do not smoke, drink, or use drugs while pregnant and do not expose your baby to secondhand smoke. NICHD figures indicate that children of mothers who smoked during pregnancy are three times more likely to die of SIDS than those whose mothers were smoke-free; exposure to secondhand smoke doubles a baby's risk of SIDS. Researchers speculate that smoking might affect the central nervous system, starting prenatally and continuing after birth, which could place the baby at increased risk.
Receive early and regular prenatal care.
Make sure your baby has regular well-baby checkups.
Breastfeed if possible. Although there is no evidence that directly links breastfeeding with a decreased rate of SIDS, breast milk is thought to keep babies healthy.
If your baby has gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), be sure to follow your child's doctor's guidelines on feeding and sleep positions.
Losing a child to SIDS invariably makes a family ask questions. "An infant death leaves many unanswered questions. It causes intense grief for parents and for the whole family," Hershberger says. In searching for an explanation, however, it is important that parents do not latch on to misinformation. "Parents need to know that SIDS is not caused by vomiting and choking or other minor illnesses," she continues. "It's not caused by vaccines or other immunizations. It's not contagious. SIDS is not child abuse, and SIDS is not the cause of every unexpected infant death."
For parents who have experienced a SIDS death, there are many groups, including the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Alliance, that provide grief counseling and contacts to local support groups. Meanwhile, growing public awareness of SIDS and the steps to reduce infants' risk of sudden death hopefully will leave fewer parents searching for answers in the future
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Ladies, 21 Little Sex Moves that will keep you rocking .. (& his too)
21 Little Sex Moves that Will Rock Your World (and His!)
By Jennifer Benjamin
You and your guy have a good bedroom groove going — some days are sweet, some are sweaty, some days you maybe even leave a few dents in the wall with all your headboard banging. But no matter how satisfied you are, you probably wouldn't pass up the chance to kick things up a notch. Try these tiny little tricks that just might transform your sex life. (Yep, it's that easy!)
1. GET STROKED
Sexy moments can strike when you least expect them. So seize the chance to spice up a night on the couch. "Have him use his fingertips to slowly, gently caress your skin," suggests sex therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D. "The light, sensual touch creates a tingling sensation that will wake up your body while also relaxing you for sex."
2. KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON
Back in high school, you probably had rules for how far you'd go: under the shirt, over the pants, and so on. Well, the teenage you was on to something. "It can be pleasurable torture to play with each other over your underwear, teasing and stroking through the fabric," says sex coach Patti Britton, Ph.D. "You're building up the anticipation, so when you finally do have skin-on-skin contact, it'll be that much more explosive and exciting."
3. MAKE CIRCLES
Let's be honest: Most guys are just grateful to be getting a blow job. But that's no excuse to rest on your laurels. Rather than simply moving up and down, use your tongue to slowly wind around his member. "Swirl up the shaft with the tip of your tongue. When you're at the top, slide your whole mouth down and then up, with a sucking motion," suggests sex therapist Carole Altman, Ph.D., author of Don't Have Sex Again Until You Read This Book.
4. GIVE BARELY THERE KISSES
Rather than simply making a beeline for his below-the-belt region, create a slow burn with featherlight kisses. Start by kissing his eyelashes, then the corner of his mouth, his jaw, and his collarbone. Next, kiss his nipples, under his pecs, and down along his treasure trail and over to one hip bone, then the other. "You're building up anticipation as you make that slow, seductive crawl," says Altman. "And the randomness of your kisses keeps his nerves on high alert as his brain and body try to figure out where you're going next."
5. BEND IT BETTER
For greater stimulation in missionary position, try this: "Hook your knees over your guy's shoulders," suggests Britton. "The angle puts more pressure on the clitoris, giving you a better chance of achieving orgasm." Clench your butt and lift your pelvis to create more friction and make your climactic moment even more mind-blowing.
6. GET A LITTLE ROUGH
Give a jolt during sex by gently nipping your partner's shoulders or earlobe. "When you're in the heat of passion, you may go more into your head than your body," explains Brame. "A little pain snaps you both back to the moment."
7. SIT UP TALL
You love you-on-top because you can control the speed, angle, and motion — he loves you-on-top because he can just lie back and watch. But what lazybones might not realize is that sitting up can enhance his pleasure even more. "Not only can you both do more with your arms and hands, but the sex is also more intimate with your torsos pressed together," says Britton.
8. GUESS WHAT'S NEXT
A little unpredictability during sex can make the experience even more intense for you. "While in missionary, have him tease you by mixing up his movements: slipping in just a little, going in halfway, and thrusting deeply, in random order," suggests Britton. It's his call what sequence he moves in: two short strokes followed by a long one, three deep ones in a row followed by two quick teases ... you get the point.
9. SHOW OFF
Although your inner bad girl may get off on the idea of being caught in the act, the real you may not feel right about sneaking off to a bar bathroom. But you can feed any secret exhibitionist appetites by doing the deed in front of a window — with the lights out. "Stand up against the window, facing out, and have him take you from behind," says Britton. You'll get a rush from just the possibility of being watched.
10. BLOW HOT AIR
No matter what position you're in, you can enhance the experience by gently exhaling on each other's skin. "You're already feeling pleasure in your genitals, but this move adds soft, steamy heat to other sensitive areas like your neck, your nipples, or the inside of your wrists, giving you tingles from head to toe," says Britton.
11. FIND A NEW ANGLE"
In order to orgasm from oral sex, you need him to use consistent, steady strokes," explains Britton. "The easiest way for him to do that is by licking up and down." But you're more likely to orgasm when his tongue is running across your clitoris. The solution: Have him situate himself perpendicular to you (in a "T" shape), lying on his side. He'll be able to work his tongue more easily, at an angle that's optimal for your pleasure.
12. BUZZ AWAY
Put a spin on oral sex by getting a third party in on the action — a sex toy. "While he's pleasuring you, have him lay a vibrating bullet against his cheek," suggests Olivia St. Claire, author of 302 Advanced Techniques for Driving a Man Wild in Bed. "It creates a hum that's not too intense, thanks to the buffering effect of his skin." Of course, this move also works equally well when you do it for him, so be generous and give back.
13. WORK YOUR MUSCLES
You can put an extra-special twist on intercourse just by clenching your pubococcygeus muscle (the same muscle you use to stop and start the flow when you're peeing). "As he enters you, squeeze the muscle tight around him and then let go as more of his length moves in," says St. Claire. "Squeeze again as he pulls almost out. Then repeat with each thrust." This creates a tight pressure around his penis, as though you're massaging it. The benefit for you: Your clenching motion creates pleasurable tension in your G spot and clitoris, making orgasm easier to achieve — and more explosive.
14. DON'T TAKE IT ALL OFF
Who doesn't love getting naked? Still, there's something so primal about clothes-on sex. While wearing a skirt or dress, get on the edge of the bed on your hands and knees. He unzips his pants, lifts your skirt, and has his way with you. "It's a spontaneous, must-have-you-now move," says Britton.
15. ANCHOR HIM
Try this hands-on approach to increasing sensation for him during intercourse: Form a ring with two fingers and your thumb and gently hold down the skin at the base of his penis. "Pulling his loose skin taut brings the nerve endings closer to the surface, making him more sensitive," explains St. Claire.
16. GET ON YOUR FEET
Here's another way to make you-on-top more interesting: Squat over your man rather than straddling him. "By supporting yourself on your feet, you get better ease of motion," explains St. Claire. "You can bounce higher and have more control of your movements, so your pleasure is intensified, and he can go in deeper, creating new sensations on the tip and around the base."
17. TIGHTEN UP(OR LOOSEN UP)
There are a million ways to adjust to achieve the perfect, er, fit. "If you want more friction during missionary, slide your legs together so that they're between his," suggests Brame. "You'll have to start out with your legs flat on the bed, outside of his." For deeper penetration, spread your legs wider with your knees up.
18. GIVE A TUG
When it comes to his below-the-belt area, you're probably more focused on the star than the supporting players. But you can make sex a heightened experience for him by stroking his testicles. "Softly massaging the area increases blood flow to his pelvic region, increasing his arousal and sensitivity," says Brame. "Then, as he's about to orgasm, gently tug on the loose skin around the 'boys' to amplify his big finish."
19. GRAB HOLD
Call him your prisoner of love and he'll laugh. But pin him to the bed and he'll know you mean business. "You can take a fun and playful approach to the whole domination thing by pinning his hands down while you're on top," says Brame. "It's a delicious tease because all he wants to do is touch you, and you're not allowing it." Of course, if you'd prefer that he take control, just ask!
20. GO NECK AND NECK
You already know that your man's neck is a sensitive spot — his little shivers and moans when you nibble at his throat should clue you in. Still, there are a few nooks that will elicit even more of a "yowza!" reaction. "The line that runs from behind his ear down to the crook where his neck meets his shoulder is especially sensitive," says Britton. "You can lightly kiss other lesser-known hot spots as well, like along his jawbone and even the back of his neck."
21. TICKLE HIM
He may think he's seen every trick in the book, but show him you're still full of surprises with this oral sex move: While down south, slip your finger into your mouth and stroke him. "The unexpected texture makes it a pleasurable treat for him," explains St. Claire. The creativity alone will give him a rush since it's something he's probably never experienced before.
By Jennifer Benjamin
You and your guy have a good bedroom groove going — some days are sweet, some are sweaty, some days you maybe even leave a few dents in the wall with all your headboard banging. But no matter how satisfied you are, you probably wouldn't pass up the chance to kick things up a notch. Try these tiny little tricks that just might transform your sex life. (Yep, it's that easy!)
1. GET STROKED
Sexy moments can strike when you least expect them. So seize the chance to spice up a night on the couch. "Have him use his fingertips to slowly, gently caress your skin," suggests sex therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D. "The light, sensual touch creates a tingling sensation that will wake up your body while also relaxing you for sex."
2. KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON
Back in high school, you probably had rules for how far you'd go: under the shirt, over the pants, and so on. Well, the teenage you was on to something. "It can be pleasurable torture to play with each other over your underwear, teasing and stroking through the fabric," says sex coach Patti Britton, Ph.D. "You're building up the anticipation, so when you finally do have skin-on-skin contact, it'll be that much more explosive and exciting."
3. MAKE CIRCLES
Let's be honest: Most guys are just grateful to be getting a blow job. But that's no excuse to rest on your laurels. Rather than simply moving up and down, use your tongue to slowly wind around his member. "Swirl up the shaft with the tip of your tongue. When you're at the top, slide your whole mouth down and then up, with a sucking motion," suggests sex therapist Carole Altman, Ph.D., author of Don't Have Sex Again Until You Read This Book.
4. GIVE BARELY THERE KISSES
Rather than simply making a beeline for his below-the-belt region, create a slow burn with featherlight kisses. Start by kissing his eyelashes, then the corner of his mouth, his jaw, and his collarbone. Next, kiss his nipples, under his pecs, and down along his treasure trail and over to one hip bone, then the other. "You're building up anticipation as you make that slow, seductive crawl," says Altman. "And the randomness of your kisses keeps his nerves on high alert as his brain and body try to figure out where you're going next."
5. BEND IT BETTER
For greater stimulation in missionary position, try this: "Hook your knees over your guy's shoulders," suggests Britton. "The angle puts more pressure on the clitoris, giving you a better chance of achieving orgasm." Clench your butt and lift your pelvis to create more friction and make your climactic moment even more mind-blowing.
6. GET A LITTLE ROUGH
Give a jolt during sex by gently nipping your partner's shoulders or earlobe. "When you're in the heat of passion, you may go more into your head than your body," explains Brame. "A little pain snaps you both back to the moment."
7. SIT UP TALL
You love you-on-top because you can control the speed, angle, and motion — he loves you-on-top because he can just lie back and watch. But what lazybones might not realize is that sitting up can enhance his pleasure even more. "Not only can you both do more with your arms and hands, but the sex is also more intimate with your torsos pressed together," says Britton.
8. GUESS WHAT'S NEXT
A little unpredictability during sex can make the experience even more intense for you. "While in missionary, have him tease you by mixing up his movements: slipping in just a little, going in halfway, and thrusting deeply, in random order," suggests Britton. It's his call what sequence he moves in: two short strokes followed by a long one, three deep ones in a row followed by two quick teases ... you get the point.
9. SHOW OFF
Although your inner bad girl may get off on the idea of being caught in the act, the real you may not feel right about sneaking off to a bar bathroom. But you can feed any secret exhibitionist appetites by doing the deed in front of a window — with the lights out. "Stand up against the window, facing out, and have him take you from behind," says Britton. You'll get a rush from just the possibility of being watched.
10. BLOW HOT AIR
No matter what position you're in, you can enhance the experience by gently exhaling on each other's skin. "You're already feeling pleasure in your genitals, but this move adds soft, steamy heat to other sensitive areas like your neck, your nipples, or the inside of your wrists, giving you tingles from head to toe," says Britton.
11. FIND A NEW ANGLE"
In order to orgasm from oral sex, you need him to use consistent, steady strokes," explains Britton. "The easiest way for him to do that is by licking up and down." But you're more likely to orgasm when his tongue is running across your clitoris. The solution: Have him situate himself perpendicular to you (in a "T" shape), lying on his side. He'll be able to work his tongue more easily, at an angle that's optimal for your pleasure.
12. BUZZ AWAY
Put a spin on oral sex by getting a third party in on the action — a sex toy. "While he's pleasuring you, have him lay a vibrating bullet against his cheek," suggests Olivia St. Claire, author of 302 Advanced Techniques for Driving a Man Wild in Bed. "It creates a hum that's not too intense, thanks to the buffering effect of his skin." Of course, this move also works equally well when you do it for him, so be generous and give back.
13. WORK YOUR MUSCLES
You can put an extra-special twist on intercourse just by clenching your pubococcygeus muscle (the same muscle you use to stop and start the flow when you're peeing). "As he enters you, squeeze the muscle tight around him and then let go as more of his length moves in," says St. Claire. "Squeeze again as he pulls almost out. Then repeat with each thrust." This creates a tight pressure around his penis, as though you're massaging it. The benefit for you: Your clenching motion creates pleasurable tension in your G spot and clitoris, making orgasm easier to achieve — and more explosive.
14. DON'T TAKE IT ALL OFF
Who doesn't love getting naked? Still, there's something so primal about clothes-on sex. While wearing a skirt or dress, get on the edge of the bed on your hands and knees. He unzips his pants, lifts your skirt, and has his way with you. "It's a spontaneous, must-have-you-now move," says Britton.
15. ANCHOR HIM
Try this hands-on approach to increasing sensation for him during intercourse: Form a ring with two fingers and your thumb and gently hold down the skin at the base of his penis. "Pulling his loose skin taut brings the nerve endings closer to the surface, making him more sensitive," explains St. Claire.
16. GET ON YOUR FEET
Here's another way to make you-on-top more interesting: Squat over your man rather than straddling him. "By supporting yourself on your feet, you get better ease of motion," explains St. Claire. "You can bounce higher and have more control of your movements, so your pleasure is intensified, and he can go in deeper, creating new sensations on the tip and around the base."
17. TIGHTEN UP(OR LOOSEN UP)
There are a million ways to adjust to achieve the perfect, er, fit. "If you want more friction during missionary, slide your legs together so that they're between his," suggests Brame. "You'll have to start out with your legs flat on the bed, outside of his." For deeper penetration, spread your legs wider with your knees up.
18. GIVE A TUG
When it comes to his below-the-belt area, you're probably more focused on the star than the supporting players. But you can make sex a heightened experience for him by stroking his testicles. "Softly massaging the area increases blood flow to his pelvic region, increasing his arousal and sensitivity," says Brame. "Then, as he's about to orgasm, gently tug on the loose skin around the 'boys' to amplify his big finish."
19. GRAB HOLD
Call him your prisoner of love and he'll laugh. But pin him to the bed and he'll know you mean business. "You can take a fun and playful approach to the whole domination thing by pinning his hands down while you're on top," says Brame. "It's a delicious tease because all he wants to do is touch you, and you're not allowing it." Of course, if you'd prefer that he take control, just ask!
20. GO NECK AND NECK
You already know that your man's neck is a sensitive spot — his little shivers and moans when you nibble at his throat should clue you in. Still, there are a few nooks that will elicit even more of a "yowza!" reaction. "The line that runs from behind his ear down to the crook where his neck meets his shoulder is especially sensitive," says Britton. "You can lightly kiss other lesser-known hot spots as well, like along his jawbone and even the back of his neck."
21. TICKLE HIM
He may think he's seen every trick in the book, but show him you're still full of surprises with this oral sex move: While down south, slip your finger into your mouth and stroke him. "The unexpected texture makes it a pleasurable treat for him," explains St. Claire. The creativity alone will give him a rush since it's something he's probably never experienced before.
8 kinds of Sex every couple Should Try
8 Kinds of Sex Every Couple Should Try
The hottest couples don't just have great sex — they have embarrassing sex, and make-up sex, and wild, can't-walk-the-next-day sex, and more. And the thing is, every kind of sex is crucial for your bond – yes, even couldn't-quite-stay-awake- to-finish sex. Here's how.
By Amy Spencer
Sure, you and your guy have good sex. Ideally, you have fantastic sex, as often as possible. But there's more to a solid sex life than just straight-up great sex. A truly amazing sexual connection encompasses lots of different kinds of sex — maybe even ones you wouldn't expect. After all, your relationship isn't one-note, so why should your sex life be?
"You change, you age, and you grow as a couple in an emotional and an intellectual way," says Laura Meers, Ph.D., a psychologist in family practice in Columbus, OH. "Hopefully you're growing and changing sexually too. And the more dimensions there are in a relationship in general, the more you will see those dimensions reflected in your sex life."
See which kinds of sex you and your other half have hit so far. As for the ones you haven't, well...you know what to do.
1. Pushing-Your-Boundaries SexThere's nothing like the moment when you're lying naked with the man you've known and loved for a long time, panting and puffing, thinking, Wow, we've never done that before. "People in long-term relationships sometimes crave excitement and stimulation, but don't know how to get it with their partner," explains Meers, who adds that this is one of the reasons people stray outside the marriage. "But you can get that in your current relationship by pushing your regular comfort zone." If you're used to missionary, that may mean trying a new position or a new room in the house; if you're used to stimulation by body parts alone, it may be a sex toy thrown in the mix. And if you feel a little anxious about experimenting, says Meers, all the better: "The anxiety you feel about trying something new mimics what happens when you're with somebody new. So if you can create that feeling within the confines of an intimate, close, trusting relationship, you will keep reenergizing what you have."And there's another important benefit: Pushing your boundaries helps build trust between you. "When you communicate a desire to your partner — and, ultimately, try it — you're taking a big risk together," says Anita Clayton, M.D., a professor at the University of Virginia's Department of Psychiatric Medicine and author of the book Satisfaction. Taking that risk, she says, is a bonding activity in and of itself.
2. Maintenance SexLet's face it — sex just isn't going to be an eye-gazing spiritual encounter every time. "Some couples think everything has to feel perfect, or you both have to be in a sexual mood to have sex, but if everyone waited for that, sex wouldn't happen very often at all," says Clayton. That's where maintenance sex comes in — when you just do it, even if your engine isn't necessarily raring for a ride. Just-for-the-sake-of-it sex is vital to a long-term relationship, because no matter how much you love your family, your friends, or your kids, and no matter how much time you spend with them, you won't spend time like this with anyone else. "Sex is the one activity a couple has that excludes other people," says Clayton. "It keeps your bond unique and strong." By making a habit of it, you're building regular opportunities for connection into your lives.Take it from Olivia, 33, a stay-at-home mom in New Jersey who relies on occasional maintenance sex to keep her relationship energized. "My husband always wants to do it, but as a new mom, I'm tired all the time," says Olivia. "But when I make the effort, I always feel closer to him afterward. Even if the sex is mediocre, it feels like we've come together and nothing can get in the way of our relationship."And let's not forget how good regular sex is for you: It relieves stress, it burns calories, and it elevates your mood, says Meers. According to Olivia, it also keeps her sex drive steady: "Doing it sometimes when I'm not in the mood keeps me geared up for something much hotter other times."
3. Embarrassing-Moment SexIt's bound to happen eventually: One of you emits an awkward grunt, your sweat-soaked skin slaps together in a cringe-inducing fashion, or your partner pulls or pushes in such a way as to create a "schluup" sound that both of you would like to forget. As mortifying as a moment like this may be — even with someone you've been with for a long time — it is a good reminder that sex is a raw, Discovery Channel kind of act. It's not supposed to be flawless. "Sex is full of smells and sights and sounds; it's natural," says Debra Herbenick, Ph.D., a researcher for the Kinsey Institute and associate director for the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University. "You're having sex with human bodies, and they do funny things sometimes, and that's okay."And your ability to deal with a red-in-the-face moment — whether you laugh it off or give each other a sympathetic squeeze — says a lot about the strength of your bond. "True intimacy is about being able to feel comfortable and real with each other in awkward, embarrassing situations," says Ruth Morehouse, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and marriage and family therapist in Evergreen, CO. Noelle, a 32-year-old grad student in Washington, DC, remembers her last embarrassing sex moment: "When my boyfriend pulled out, I had my first 'queef' moment, if I can use that word," says Noelle. "We'd been together two years by then, but we were both stunned and didn't know what to say. Finally I said, 'Whoops!' and we just carried on. I was almost relieved, like it was this big hurdle we finally got out of the way. And because, hey, it's normal."
4. Vacation Sex"My husband and I had the best vacation sex recently in Hawaii," says Francine, a 36-year-old mother of two from New York City. "We were on the top floor of the resort, so we knew no one was above us to see or hear us. And the room had these huge floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the ocean. It felt like we were having sex outdoors, but without the nuisance of the sand going up our butts!" Ah, yes, the turn-on effect of the tropics. And thank goodness for it, because vacation sex is a vital part of a good sex life. "On vacation, you're at your most carefree, which means you can try new things you won't have to be accountable for at home," says Meers. In other words, you can have sex on the beach or in a car, or flirt madly in a restaurant, or, like Francine, have what feels like sex in public — all of which you might not do at home, for fear someone you know would see you or find out. "Taking risks like this adds to the excitement," says Meers. And ideally, you can bring that burst of excitement back home with you.The point is, if life in the bedroom is feeling blah, it's often your surroundings that are getting stale, not your partner. So if you haven't had vacation sex lately, do it! You don't need a plane ticket to get started: "Head to a hotel downtown and call it a vacation," says Meers, who often recommends vacation sex to her clients. "You can look forward to it and build it up beforehand for even better sex."
5. Slow-Road-to-Sleep SexWe all know by now that it's the journey that really matters in life, not the destination. In sex, that means not every sexual experience should be focused on getting to the orgasm(s). But the truth is, not every sexual experience leads anywhere at all. Some nights, you start out on the journey and you'd like to keep going, but, boy, sleep sounds so darn good too...and that's when things peter out.Luckily, the experts say this kind of sex is still good for your bond. "Even acknowledging that you want your partner is important, whether or not you follow through," says Meers. If you feel sleep coming on, Meers suggests you say to your partner, "'I love you so much and I want you.' Just saying it out loud, that counts for a lot too." In the meantime, you're just two warm bodies who love each other and appreciate that a sweet, simple touch can be enough for the night.
6. Make-up SexIt's been said you shouldn't go to bed angry. And sometimes, you can take that to a different extreme, ensuring that after a fight you go to bed happy — very, very happy. Yes, we're talking about the wild and intense world of make-up sex, when one minute you're reeling from anger, and the next you're rolling around making passionate love. Make-up sex works because after a fight, you're raw, exposed, and vulnerable — perfect conditions for intense, soul-to-soul physical bonding. "In many ways, make-up sex restores a level of closeness that you may feel was fractured by the argument," says Clayton. "Sex can repair that fracture."One commonsense caveat: "Some people pick fights in order to be able to make up," says Clayton. Other couples ignore their real problems and have sex instead. If the only time you're getting along is when you're in the sack, maybe you should take a break from the make-ups and face your issues with your clothes on first.
7. Comfort SexIf you're feeling sad, depressed, grieving, alone, or hurt, sex can be the perfect antidote. Why? Because it's the opposite of all those things — it's about being close, warm, loving, and together. And because sometimes talking about your troubles or sadness isn't what you want, while sex can be."My husband's mom had Parkinson's and a stroke, my dad had major heart surgery, and my mom had Alzheimer's, so my husband and I have spent a lot of time in bed comforting each other," explains Beth, 57, a former teacher and stay-at-home mom in Chicago. "In those times, sometimes it's full-penetration sex, sometimes it's just snuggling, sometimes it's manually stimulating each other, but for us it's important. It makes you remember why you're living. If you focus on the bad stuff to the end, it's not worth it. You have to focus on what makes you want to get up every morning, what makes you want to go through every day. And part of that, for us, is the sex."That desire for a connection is not only common, says Morehouse, it's important as a life-affirming act in the face of grief. "Sex is a way of declaring your aliveness," says Morehouse. "It's a way of defending yourself against the inevitability of death or loss." Usually, she says, comfort sex is "more poignant, more sweet, and perhaps more emotional than usual" because the desire to connect to life is so great.And that thriving, healing act can also help people who feel torn apart from each other during a difficult period. "Grief tends to drive a wedge between couples," says Clayton, noting that partners sometimes blame themselves, or each other, during a loss. "I've seen couples break up because something bad happens, but sex can help restore the intimate relationship you have. Instead of letting grief pull you apart, you can use it to pull each other close again."
8. Crazy Hang-from-the-Chandelier SexYou know what we're talking about: wild, sweaty, so-good-it-makes-you-dizzy sex. No matter how long you've been together, you need to have earthshaking sex like this once in a while — even if it's once in a very long while. For long-term couples, having an extra-hot sexual experience is "like a flashback," says Morehouse. "It can stimulate those early feelings you had toward someone in the beginning, and it reminds you what you're capable of as a couple." "People think the steamy stuff only happens before you are married or pre-kids, but we are going on 25 years of marriage and still have passionate hot sex!" says Maureen, a self-employed New Jersey mother of three in her mid-40s. She remembers one recent night that felt as hot as the old flames. "I'd just finished cooking dinner, and no kids were home. When my husband came in, he said he was going upstairs to change. But as he kissed me, it evolved from just talking about the day to sex on the kitchen counter. It was totally spontaneous and unexpected!" This kind of sex is also important on a deeper level. "It requires a lot of intimacy to let your partner see you in the throes of sexual abandon," explains Morehouse. "When you display that side of yourself, you have to deal with questions like, What if my face gets purple or my eyes go back in my head? To express a higher level of sensuality like this is another way of being intimate." And let's not forget how much a toe-curling orgasm does to keep your eyes bright and your soul smiling!
The hottest couples don't just have great sex — they have embarrassing sex, and make-up sex, and wild, can't-walk-the-next-day sex, and more. And the thing is, every kind of sex is crucial for your bond – yes, even couldn't-quite-stay-awake- to-finish sex. Here's how.
By Amy Spencer
Sure, you and your guy have good sex. Ideally, you have fantastic sex, as often as possible. But there's more to a solid sex life than just straight-up great sex. A truly amazing sexual connection encompasses lots of different kinds of sex — maybe even ones you wouldn't expect. After all, your relationship isn't one-note, so why should your sex life be?
"You change, you age, and you grow as a couple in an emotional and an intellectual way," says Laura Meers, Ph.D., a psychologist in family practice in Columbus, OH. "Hopefully you're growing and changing sexually too. And the more dimensions there are in a relationship in general, the more you will see those dimensions reflected in your sex life."
See which kinds of sex you and your other half have hit so far. As for the ones you haven't, well...you know what to do.
1. Pushing-Your-Boundaries SexThere's nothing like the moment when you're lying naked with the man you've known and loved for a long time, panting and puffing, thinking, Wow, we've never done that before. "People in long-term relationships sometimes crave excitement and stimulation, but don't know how to get it with their partner," explains Meers, who adds that this is one of the reasons people stray outside the marriage. "But you can get that in your current relationship by pushing your regular comfort zone." If you're used to missionary, that may mean trying a new position or a new room in the house; if you're used to stimulation by body parts alone, it may be a sex toy thrown in the mix. And if you feel a little anxious about experimenting, says Meers, all the better: "The anxiety you feel about trying something new mimics what happens when you're with somebody new. So if you can create that feeling within the confines of an intimate, close, trusting relationship, you will keep reenergizing what you have."And there's another important benefit: Pushing your boundaries helps build trust between you. "When you communicate a desire to your partner — and, ultimately, try it — you're taking a big risk together," says Anita Clayton, M.D., a professor at the University of Virginia's Department of Psychiatric Medicine and author of the book Satisfaction. Taking that risk, she says, is a bonding activity in and of itself.
2. Maintenance SexLet's face it — sex just isn't going to be an eye-gazing spiritual encounter every time. "Some couples think everything has to feel perfect, or you both have to be in a sexual mood to have sex, but if everyone waited for that, sex wouldn't happen very often at all," says Clayton. That's where maintenance sex comes in — when you just do it, even if your engine isn't necessarily raring for a ride. Just-for-the-sake-of-it sex is vital to a long-term relationship, because no matter how much you love your family, your friends, or your kids, and no matter how much time you spend with them, you won't spend time like this with anyone else. "Sex is the one activity a couple has that excludes other people," says Clayton. "It keeps your bond unique and strong." By making a habit of it, you're building regular opportunities for connection into your lives.Take it from Olivia, 33, a stay-at-home mom in New Jersey who relies on occasional maintenance sex to keep her relationship energized. "My husband always wants to do it, but as a new mom, I'm tired all the time," says Olivia. "But when I make the effort, I always feel closer to him afterward. Even if the sex is mediocre, it feels like we've come together and nothing can get in the way of our relationship."And let's not forget how good regular sex is for you: It relieves stress, it burns calories, and it elevates your mood, says Meers. According to Olivia, it also keeps her sex drive steady: "Doing it sometimes when I'm not in the mood keeps me geared up for something much hotter other times."
3. Embarrassing-Moment SexIt's bound to happen eventually: One of you emits an awkward grunt, your sweat-soaked skin slaps together in a cringe-inducing fashion, or your partner pulls or pushes in such a way as to create a "schluup" sound that both of you would like to forget. As mortifying as a moment like this may be — even with someone you've been with for a long time — it is a good reminder that sex is a raw, Discovery Channel kind of act. It's not supposed to be flawless. "Sex is full of smells and sights and sounds; it's natural," says Debra Herbenick, Ph.D., a researcher for the Kinsey Institute and associate director for the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University. "You're having sex with human bodies, and they do funny things sometimes, and that's okay."And your ability to deal with a red-in-the-face moment — whether you laugh it off or give each other a sympathetic squeeze — says a lot about the strength of your bond. "True intimacy is about being able to feel comfortable and real with each other in awkward, embarrassing situations," says Ruth Morehouse, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and marriage and family therapist in Evergreen, CO. Noelle, a 32-year-old grad student in Washington, DC, remembers her last embarrassing sex moment: "When my boyfriend pulled out, I had my first 'queef' moment, if I can use that word," says Noelle. "We'd been together two years by then, but we were both stunned and didn't know what to say. Finally I said, 'Whoops!' and we just carried on. I was almost relieved, like it was this big hurdle we finally got out of the way. And because, hey, it's normal."
4. Vacation Sex"My husband and I had the best vacation sex recently in Hawaii," says Francine, a 36-year-old mother of two from New York City. "We were on the top floor of the resort, so we knew no one was above us to see or hear us. And the room had these huge floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the ocean. It felt like we were having sex outdoors, but without the nuisance of the sand going up our butts!" Ah, yes, the turn-on effect of the tropics. And thank goodness for it, because vacation sex is a vital part of a good sex life. "On vacation, you're at your most carefree, which means you can try new things you won't have to be accountable for at home," says Meers. In other words, you can have sex on the beach or in a car, or flirt madly in a restaurant, or, like Francine, have what feels like sex in public — all of which you might not do at home, for fear someone you know would see you or find out. "Taking risks like this adds to the excitement," says Meers. And ideally, you can bring that burst of excitement back home with you.The point is, if life in the bedroom is feeling blah, it's often your surroundings that are getting stale, not your partner. So if you haven't had vacation sex lately, do it! You don't need a plane ticket to get started: "Head to a hotel downtown and call it a vacation," says Meers, who often recommends vacation sex to her clients. "You can look forward to it and build it up beforehand for even better sex."
5. Slow-Road-to-Sleep SexWe all know by now that it's the journey that really matters in life, not the destination. In sex, that means not every sexual experience should be focused on getting to the orgasm(s). But the truth is, not every sexual experience leads anywhere at all. Some nights, you start out on the journey and you'd like to keep going, but, boy, sleep sounds so darn good too...and that's when things peter out.Luckily, the experts say this kind of sex is still good for your bond. "Even acknowledging that you want your partner is important, whether or not you follow through," says Meers. If you feel sleep coming on, Meers suggests you say to your partner, "'I love you so much and I want you.' Just saying it out loud, that counts for a lot too." In the meantime, you're just two warm bodies who love each other and appreciate that a sweet, simple touch can be enough for the night.
6. Make-up SexIt's been said you shouldn't go to bed angry. And sometimes, you can take that to a different extreme, ensuring that after a fight you go to bed happy — very, very happy. Yes, we're talking about the wild and intense world of make-up sex, when one minute you're reeling from anger, and the next you're rolling around making passionate love. Make-up sex works because after a fight, you're raw, exposed, and vulnerable — perfect conditions for intense, soul-to-soul physical bonding. "In many ways, make-up sex restores a level of closeness that you may feel was fractured by the argument," says Clayton. "Sex can repair that fracture."One commonsense caveat: "Some people pick fights in order to be able to make up," says Clayton. Other couples ignore their real problems and have sex instead. If the only time you're getting along is when you're in the sack, maybe you should take a break from the make-ups and face your issues with your clothes on first.
7. Comfort SexIf you're feeling sad, depressed, grieving, alone, or hurt, sex can be the perfect antidote. Why? Because it's the opposite of all those things — it's about being close, warm, loving, and together. And because sometimes talking about your troubles or sadness isn't what you want, while sex can be."My husband's mom had Parkinson's and a stroke, my dad had major heart surgery, and my mom had Alzheimer's, so my husband and I have spent a lot of time in bed comforting each other," explains Beth, 57, a former teacher and stay-at-home mom in Chicago. "In those times, sometimes it's full-penetration sex, sometimes it's just snuggling, sometimes it's manually stimulating each other, but for us it's important. It makes you remember why you're living. If you focus on the bad stuff to the end, it's not worth it. You have to focus on what makes you want to get up every morning, what makes you want to go through every day. And part of that, for us, is the sex."That desire for a connection is not only common, says Morehouse, it's important as a life-affirming act in the face of grief. "Sex is a way of declaring your aliveness," says Morehouse. "It's a way of defending yourself against the inevitability of death or loss." Usually, she says, comfort sex is "more poignant, more sweet, and perhaps more emotional than usual" because the desire to connect to life is so great.And that thriving, healing act can also help people who feel torn apart from each other during a difficult period. "Grief tends to drive a wedge between couples," says Clayton, noting that partners sometimes blame themselves, or each other, during a loss. "I've seen couples break up because something bad happens, but sex can help restore the intimate relationship you have. Instead of letting grief pull you apart, you can use it to pull each other close again."
8. Crazy Hang-from-the-Chandelier SexYou know what we're talking about: wild, sweaty, so-good-it-makes-you-dizzy sex. No matter how long you've been together, you need to have earthshaking sex like this once in a while — even if it's once in a very long while. For long-term couples, having an extra-hot sexual experience is "like a flashback," says Morehouse. "It can stimulate those early feelings you had toward someone in the beginning, and it reminds you what you're capable of as a couple." "People think the steamy stuff only happens before you are married or pre-kids, but we are going on 25 years of marriage and still have passionate hot sex!" says Maureen, a self-employed New Jersey mother of three in her mid-40s. She remembers one recent night that felt as hot as the old flames. "I'd just finished cooking dinner, and no kids were home. When my husband came in, he said he was going upstairs to change. But as he kissed me, it evolved from just talking about the day to sex on the kitchen counter. It was totally spontaneous and unexpected!" This kind of sex is also important on a deeper level. "It requires a lot of intimacy to let your partner see you in the throes of sexual abandon," explains Morehouse. "When you display that side of yourself, you have to deal with questions like, What if my face gets purple or my eyes go back in my head? To express a higher level of sensuality like this is another way of being intimate." And let's not forget how much a toe-curling orgasm does to keep your eyes bright and your soul smiling!
Men May Be Dogs but We Love Them Anyway
Take a peek into the private minds of guys. Although some of these truths may not be pretty, they'll help you understand any man in your life.
By Anka Radakovich
As a sex columnist for men's magazines for more than a decade, I've had the unique opportunity to learn more than most women will ever know about men's secret desires, fears, and fantasies. When I was writing about sex for Details magazine, I received thousands of letters from men: A few were the on-paper equivalent of the stranger on the bus who tells you everything — including things you're not sure you really want to hear! While often thinking, Uh, thanks for sharing, I have come to a few clear conclusions about the sometimes hard-to-believe but still lovable world of men. Want details? Here's a peek into the private minds of guys. Although some of these truths may not be pretty, they'll help you understand any man in your life.Men can't resist the tease.There's no sexier surprise for your guy than when you dance seductively, slowly undress or wear lacy underwear — anything that stimulates him visually. This sexual tension drives him wild, because his mind races, imagining what's coming next. Feel shy dancing around in your bra? You should know that men don't notice your so-called flaws when you're turning them on. In this situation, your guy has a one-track mind, and it stays focused on how hot you are. So the next time you undress, take it slow. Toss your clothes at him as you go. That's all it takes to drive him nuts — in a good way.Men can't help but stare at other women.It's true: They just can't control themselves. We're the same way when we walk by a window filled with gorgeous shoes — we have to look. It's anthropological; if you look at the mating habits of gorillas, even if they're "pair bonded" (anthropology-speak for gorilla marriage), most males cruise the females and stare when a cute gorilla girl walks by. Your guy's not insensitive, he's just been momentarily possessed by his inner ape.Men are big kids (and proud of it).Deep down, all men are big ol' boys. (This explains why so many grown men wear baseball caps.) Their interests are boylike, too. Take his obsession with sports. Most men love anything that involves kicking something, throwing things, or punching other men. Sound like 10-year-olds on the playground to you? Does to me. When you put three or more men together, they bond by yelling at the TV and being idiots to each other. Regressing into childlike behavior isn't just a means of amusing themselves — it's their way of escaping real-life pressures and feeling accepted as they are. There's no point in denying guys time to release their juvenile side. Just be glad they're doing it during boys' night out and not in front of your girlfriends or family!Men are perverts.There's no getting around it: Guys are pervs. They think about sex 24/7. And sometimes they daydream about — and look at pictures of — gross stuff or weird moves, moves that they'd never try in a million years. Fact is, men have a higher tolerance for body fluids and outrageous sex acts than we do (it's something about that 10-year-old boy inside each of them — see above). And it's a fact that men's sexual fantasies contain more people than ours do. For the guy who has everything, I always give the gift of porn. It's the one present men never complain about (or return). But if you can't stand the thought of these films, then don't go there. Nothing is less sexy to a man than a woman who's uncomfortable. Guys may be turned on by the visuals in porn, but trust me, they'd rather have the real, in-the-flesh deal anytime.Personally, I am pro-porn: Watching together can add zing to a long-term relationship. But the problem with most porn is that it's still mostly geared toward male fantasies. So look for titles by female directors, like Candida Royalle, who create videos with hot guys and plotlines that reflect women's fantasies. Don't worry if your man will like them, too: If they show skin, he will.Men would love to cheat.That doesn't mean they will, though. Luckily, they're either too guilty, too shy or too scared. Hey, it's biology: They see, they want, they fantasize. Men are not by nature monogamous animals, and they often have to fight their sexual urges, which many do very successfully. If a guy could live his perfect fantasy life, he would have a wife and a new fling whenever he felt like it. (While women look for that one "special" guy, men look for those five "special" girls.) Fifty percent of men say that if there were zero percent chance you'd find out, they'd cheat. But that also means 50 percent wouldn't — even if there were no danger of getting caught. Many men say that when they've had the idea, they nix it because they wouldn't want to mess up the good thing they've got at home. Smart guys.Men want us to worship them.Every man has a bit of Donald Trump in him. They want us to think they're strong, successful, and sexy. Most men would never admit this, but they'd like to think they're slightly smarter than the woman they're with. Yet they have no problem with the woman being 10 times better-looking than they are (that strokes his ego even more). Ultimately, they'd settle for just being able to do one thing better than us. I think it's because, privately, they know we're the superior sex.Men love oral sex.What do men want more of in bed? When I conducted a survey asking 100 men that question, 80 percent of them said, "More oral sex." Specifically, they wanted to be on the receiving end. Why do they love it so much? They don't have to worry about technique, and we do all the work (they're kinda lazy). Guys say the best treat a woman can give them is oral sex in the morning. Forget scones — this is his idea of breakfast in bed.Men don't take hints.When men are with other men, they don't tiptoe around each other and drop subtle suggestions. That's because hints don't register with guys. We women pride ourselves on being able to know intuitively what our friends, husbands, and kids are thinking, but men have no interest in reading minds. That's why one thing I've learned from men is, "If you don't ask, you don't get." In relationships, I don't expect a guy to know exactly what I want — and whenever I do, I'm disappointed. If, for example, you want him to take you out for your birthday, you're wasting your time dropping hints like "Guess what day Friday is? It's someone's birthday!" If you do that, you'll be 80 before he takes you out. And while you're at it, don't hint about wanting a gift that's shiny and lasts forever: To him, you've just described a set of Emeril pots and pans.Men love their penises.Man's best friend is actually his penis. And he assumes it's our best friend, too. After all, like a dog, it's always happy to see us, enjoys being petted, and often rubs itself against our legs. And have you noticed that guys are so intimate with their members that they often create pet names for them, including Mr. Friendly, Bob's Big Boy, and the ever-so-subtle Thruster?While women have internal, squishy accommodations, men are equipped with external, throbbing reminders of the biological imperative to "spread the seed." Every time they look down at their tools standing at attention, they remember that their penises are there for a reason — to conquer the planet. That's why they've built so many monuments in the penis's likeness. The phallus is represented by erected symbols of power worldwide, from the Eiffel Tower to the Empire State Building.Women don't make a big deal about what we have going on downstairs because we're too busy worrying about the size and shape of our other body parts. But men are obsessed with size. I live near a cactus store, and every time I walk by with a guy, he points to the biggest cactus in the window and says, "There's my size!" Do I believe them? No, because when men pull out the ruler — and they do — they almost always round up. If you ask a dozen men what the average length of an erect penis is, they'll say eight inches. But if you ask a dozen women, they'll say it's four inches. Bottom line: No matter how small it is, tell him it's huge. If it's too big, tell him just that. Trust me — he'll take it as a compliment.Men don't get Valentine's Day.Most guys consider February 14 a "chick holiday." And it stresses them out: They don't know what's expected, what they should buy, and how much (or how little) they should express their feelings. They're not incapable of romance, they just hate being romantic on cue. Just tell him, "V-Day is Friday. Let's go out for dinner." If you remind him when it is and let him off the hook for some of the standard requirements, he's more likely to deliver some creative romance of his own
Take a peek into the private minds of guys. Although some of these truths may not be pretty, they'll help you understand any man in your life.
By Anka Radakovich
As a sex columnist for men's magazines for more than a decade, I've had the unique opportunity to learn more than most women will ever know about men's secret desires, fears, and fantasies. When I was writing about sex for Details magazine, I received thousands of letters from men: A few were the on-paper equivalent of the stranger on the bus who tells you everything — including things you're not sure you really want to hear! While often thinking, Uh, thanks for sharing, I have come to a few clear conclusions about the sometimes hard-to-believe but still lovable world of men. Want details? Here's a peek into the private minds of guys. Although some of these truths may not be pretty, they'll help you understand any man in your life.Men can't resist the tease.There's no sexier surprise for your guy than when you dance seductively, slowly undress or wear lacy underwear — anything that stimulates him visually. This sexual tension drives him wild, because his mind races, imagining what's coming next. Feel shy dancing around in your bra? You should know that men don't notice your so-called flaws when you're turning them on. In this situation, your guy has a one-track mind, and it stays focused on how hot you are. So the next time you undress, take it slow. Toss your clothes at him as you go. That's all it takes to drive him nuts — in a good way.Men can't help but stare at other women.It's true: They just can't control themselves. We're the same way when we walk by a window filled with gorgeous shoes — we have to look. It's anthropological; if you look at the mating habits of gorillas, even if they're "pair bonded" (anthropology-speak for gorilla marriage), most males cruise the females and stare when a cute gorilla girl walks by. Your guy's not insensitive, he's just been momentarily possessed by his inner ape.Men are big kids (and proud of it).Deep down, all men are big ol' boys. (This explains why so many grown men wear baseball caps.) Their interests are boylike, too. Take his obsession with sports. Most men love anything that involves kicking something, throwing things, or punching other men. Sound like 10-year-olds on the playground to you? Does to me. When you put three or more men together, they bond by yelling at the TV and being idiots to each other. Regressing into childlike behavior isn't just a means of amusing themselves — it's their way of escaping real-life pressures and feeling accepted as they are. There's no point in denying guys time to release their juvenile side. Just be glad they're doing it during boys' night out and not in front of your girlfriends or family!Men are perverts.There's no getting around it: Guys are pervs. They think about sex 24/7. And sometimes they daydream about — and look at pictures of — gross stuff or weird moves, moves that they'd never try in a million years. Fact is, men have a higher tolerance for body fluids and outrageous sex acts than we do (it's something about that 10-year-old boy inside each of them — see above). And it's a fact that men's sexual fantasies contain more people than ours do. For the guy who has everything, I always give the gift of porn. It's the one present men never complain about (or return). But if you can't stand the thought of these films, then don't go there. Nothing is less sexy to a man than a woman who's uncomfortable. Guys may be turned on by the visuals in porn, but trust me, they'd rather have the real, in-the-flesh deal anytime.Personally, I am pro-porn: Watching together can add zing to a long-term relationship. But the problem with most porn is that it's still mostly geared toward male fantasies. So look for titles by female directors, like Candida Royalle, who create videos with hot guys and plotlines that reflect women's fantasies. Don't worry if your man will like them, too: If they show skin, he will.Men would love to cheat.That doesn't mean they will, though. Luckily, they're either too guilty, too shy or too scared. Hey, it's biology: They see, they want, they fantasize. Men are not by nature monogamous animals, and they often have to fight their sexual urges, which many do very successfully. If a guy could live his perfect fantasy life, he would have a wife and a new fling whenever he felt like it. (While women look for that one "special" guy, men look for those five "special" girls.) Fifty percent of men say that if there were zero percent chance you'd find out, they'd cheat. But that also means 50 percent wouldn't — even if there were no danger of getting caught. Many men say that when they've had the idea, they nix it because they wouldn't want to mess up the good thing they've got at home. Smart guys.Men want us to worship them.Every man has a bit of Donald Trump in him. They want us to think they're strong, successful, and sexy. Most men would never admit this, but they'd like to think they're slightly smarter than the woman they're with. Yet they have no problem with the woman being 10 times better-looking than they are (that strokes his ego even more). Ultimately, they'd settle for just being able to do one thing better than us. I think it's because, privately, they know we're the superior sex.Men love oral sex.What do men want more of in bed? When I conducted a survey asking 100 men that question, 80 percent of them said, "More oral sex." Specifically, they wanted to be on the receiving end. Why do they love it so much? They don't have to worry about technique, and we do all the work (they're kinda lazy). Guys say the best treat a woman can give them is oral sex in the morning. Forget scones — this is his idea of breakfast in bed.Men don't take hints.When men are with other men, they don't tiptoe around each other and drop subtle suggestions. That's because hints don't register with guys. We women pride ourselves on being able to know intuitively what our friends, husbands, and kids are thinking, but men have no interest in reading minds. That's why one thing I've learned from men is, "If you don't ask, you don't get." In relationships, I don't expect a guy to know exactly what I want — and whenever I do, I'm disappointed. If, for example, you want him to take you out for your birthday, you're wasting your time dropping hints like "Guess what day Friday is? It's someone's birthday!" If you do that, you'll be 80 before he takes you out. And while you're at it, don't hint about wanting a gift that's shiny and lasts forever: To him, you've just described a set of Emeril pots and pans.Men love their penises.Man's best friend is actually his penis. And he assumes it's our best friend, too. After all, like a dog, it's always happy to see us, enjoys being petted, and often rubs itself against our legs. And have you noticed that guys are so intimate with their members that they often create pet names for them, including Mr. Friendly, Bob's Big Boy, and the ever-so-subtle Thruster?While women have internal, squishy accommodations, men are equipped with external, throbbing reminders of the biological imperative to "spread the seed." Every time they look down at their tools standing at attention, they remember that their penises are there for a reason — to conquer the planet. That's why they've built so many monuments in the penis's likeness. The phallus is represented by erected symbols of power worldwide, from the Eiffel Tower to the Empire State Building.Women don't make a big deal about what we have going on downstairs because we're too busy worrying about the size and shape of our other body parts. But men are obsessed with size. I live near a cactus store, and every time I walk by with a guy, he points to the biggest cactus in the window and says, "There's my size!" Do I believe them? No, because when men pull out the ruler — and they do — they almost always round up. If you ask a dozen men what the average length of an erect penis is, they'll say eight inches. But if you ask a dozen women, they'll say it's four inches. Bottom line: No matter how small it is, tell him it's huge. If it's too big, tell him just that. Trust me — he'll take it as a compliment.Men don't get Valentine's Day.Most guys consider February 14 a "chick holiday." And it stresses them out: They don't know what's expected, what they should buy, and how much (or how little) they should express their feelings. They're not incapable of romance, they just hate being romantic on cue. Just tell him, "V-Day is Friday. Let's go out for dinner." If you remind him when it is and let him off the hook for some of the standard requirements, he's more likely to deliver some creative romance of his own
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
10 things you should never say to a woman
Do you really have it "under control"?
By Jessica Murphy
Madame, that is by far the ugliest nose I have ever seen, and I compliment you on it—it suits you!—Peter Sellers, "The Pink Panther"It's true: Some comments are better left unsaid.But as a sophisticated man of the 21st century, you already know this. You know you're not supposed to comment on your girlfriend's weight, or tell her that her friends are hot. And you know she probably feels the same way you do about the phrase, "Can we still be friends?"Additionally, you've found that honesty, while valued in most situations, can sometimes offend. What you say to defuse tension in an argument often stokes the fire. We understand that the female psyche can be complicated, and we're here to demystify what may seem like strategically placed trapdoors.
Here are 10 things most women don't want to hear:
1) "What did you do to your hair?"Unless we've cut our own hair—this is not common—someone else did something to our hair. It wasn't us. And most likely we've gone to a lot of trouble and expense for it. "I like your new haircut" is infinitely better, and shows you're paying attention. It's also far superior to the generic "You look different," which tells us you're as clueless as ever.
2) "They both look the same to me."We understand you care a lot less than we do about the outfits or the registry dishware we're asking you to compare. But they can't possibly look exactly the same, can they? Give us something. Anything. Mentally roll the dice and pick one, so we don't worry about your vision—or worse, that you don't care.
3) "Relax."A kissing cousin to "Don't get so worked up," this generally creates the exact opposite effect you're shooting for. When you say "Relax," what we hear is that you think that we're being irrational over nothing, and this makes us do anything but relax.
4) "I've got it all under control."Ha! Famous last words. Refrain from using them if you don't want us to take fiendish delight in your getting lost because you won't stop for directions (if we're late, there will be fiendish fuming), or because you're missing a piece to your flat-screen television because you said you didn't need to read the assembly instructions.
5) "You're not one of those feminists, are you?"Yikes. Chivalry may be nearly dead, but saying this will drive the last spear through its heart. Feminist or not, a woman is likely to be offended by the question. Just be yourself. Be kind, open the door, offer to pay, and go from there. We can choose to accept or share in your generosity.
6) "When are you due?"Take one second to imagine a woman turning to you and responding, "I'm not pregnant," or "I had the baby six months ago," and you'll understand why you should eradicate this question from your vocabulary. In one nanosecond, innocent—even considerate—curiosity can turn to deadly, if unintentional, offense. And there's just no way to recover from this one.
7) "You're being emotional."In the heat of the moment this may be true. But unless you want your partner to become more emotional or get angry, you're better off keeping this observation and its off-limits follow-up question—"Is it that time of month?"—to yourself.
8) "You're acting just like your mother/my mother/my ex-girlfriend."All three are problematic. An ex should be mentioned sparingly, and never in comparison. Why would we want to remind you of a person you broke up with? And come to mention it, why are you thinking about her? You see the slippery slope. Conjuring an image of our mother or your mother can be equally grating. We want you to treat us as individuals and not as mere products of your (or our) upbringing.
9) "You complete me."We've seen "Jerry Maguire" and most other romantic comedies far more often than you, and while we may (or may not) like cheesy movie lines, they usually fail in real life. We understand that the possibility of romance makes inexplicable things come out of a man's—and sometimes a woman's—mouth, but keep the compliments real and honest and sincere and say you love someone when you mean it.
10) "Do you really think you should be eating that?"Yes. She should be eating it. Even if she told you she's given it up.
Jessica Murphy is a freelance writer based in Seattle.
By Jessica Murphy
Madame, that is by far the ugliest nose I have ever seen, and I compliment you on it—it suits you!—Peter Sellers, "The Pink Panther"It's true: Some comments are better left unsaid.But as a sophisticated man of the 21st century, you already know this. You know you're not supposed to comment on your girlfriend's weight, or tell her that her friends are hot. And you know she probably feels the same way you do about the phrase, "Can we still be friends?"Additionally, you've found that honesty, while valued in most situations, can sometimes offend. What you say to defuse tension in an argument often stokes the fire. We understand that the female psyche can be complicated, and we're here to demystify what may seem like strategically placed trapdoors.
Here are 10 things most women don't want to hear:
1) "What did you do to your hair?"Unless we've cut our own hair—this is not common—someone else did something to our hair. It wasn't us. And most likely we've gone to a lot of trouble and expense for it. "I like your new haircut" is infinitely better, and shows you're paying attention. It's also far superior to the generic "You look different," which tells us you're as clueless as ever.
2) "They both look the same to me."We understand you care a lot less than we do about the outfits or the registry dishware we're asking you to compare. But they can't possibly look exactly the same, can they? Give us something. Anything. Mentally roll the dice and pick one, so we don't worry about your vision—or worse, that you don't care.
3) "Relax."A kissing cousin to "Don't get so worked up," this generally creates the exact opposite effect you're shooting for. When you say "Relax," what we hear is that you think that we're being irrational over nothing, and this makes us do anything but relax.
4) "I've got it all under control."Ha! Famous last words. Refrain from using them if you don't want us to take fiendish delight in your getting lost because you won't stop for directions (if we're late, there will be fiendish fuming), or because you're missing a piece to your flat-screen television because you said you didn't need to read the assembly instructions.
5) "You're not one of those feminists, are you?"Yikes. Chivalry may be nearly dead, but saying this will drive the last spear through its heart. Feminist or not, a woman is likely to be offended by the question. Just be yourself. Be kind, open the door, offer to pay, and go from there. We can choose to accept or share in your generosity.
6) "When are you due?"Take one second to imagine a woman turning to you and responding, "I'm not pregnant," or "I had the baby six months ago," and you'll understand why you should eradicate this question from your vocabulary. In one nanosecond, innocent—even considerate—curiosity can turn to deadly, if unintentional, offense. And there's just no way to recover from this one.
7) "You're being emotional."In the heat of the moment this may be true. But unless you want your partner to become more emotional or get angry, you're better off keeping this observation and its off-limits follow-up question—"Is it that time of month?"—to yourself.
8) "You're acting just like your mother/my mother/my ex-girlfriend."All three are problematic. An ex should be mentioned sparingly, and never in comparison. Why would we want to remind you of a person you broke up with? And come to mention it, why are you thinking about her? You see the slippery slope. Conjuring an image of our mother or your mother can be equally grating. We want you to treat us as individuals and not as mere products of your (or our) upbringing.
9) "You complete me."We've seen "Jerry Maguire" and most other romantic comedies far more often than you, and while we may (or may not) like cheesy movie lines, they usually fail in real life. We understand that the possibility of romance makes inexplicable things come out of a man's—and sometimes a woman's—mouth, but keep the compliments real and honest and sincere and say you love someone when you mean it.
10) "Do you really think you should be eating that?"Yes. She should be eating it. Even if she told you she's given it up.
Jessica Murphy is a freelance writer based in Seattle.
10 things you should never say to a guy
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Guy
No, it's not just a game. And yes, we do think she's pretty.
By Craig Playstead
For years we've all heard the things men shouldn't say to women, such as "Yeah, those jeans do make you look a little chunky," and "Why didn't you tell me you had a hot friend."We've been doing our best to behave, but it's time you knew there are a few things that won't score you any points with the man in your life. For the most part, we're an open book, but there are a few things that make us cringe.Here's a look at 10 things women say that drive men nuts.
1) "That looks cute."For the most part, men hate cute. We don't want to hear about it, we don't want to see it, and we sure as hell don't want to be it. If we come down stairs after getting dressed and you tell us we look cute, there's a 100 percent chance we're changing. We're supposed to be your protector, your rock, and cute does not fit into that picture.
2) "We need to talk." These four words shut off a man's brain faster than long division. When men hear you say that they immediately go into flight mode. And anything they can do to get out of this conversation—and better yet, your apartment—they will. There are plenty of other ways to approach a delicate conversation, and getting us in a place where we feel comfortable is a good start.
3) "It's just a game." Actually, it's not just a game. Sports are a major part of our lives and the outcome has as much to do with our mood as just about anything else. Is it fair? No. Is it right? No. Is it immature? Maybe. But it's life. Sometimes we just care too much. We understand that it doesn't make sense, but you should be happy that we're that passionate about something. Telling us that "it's just a game" is like us telling you that Oprah's just a talk show host
.4) "Nothing's wrong." Please don't tell us nothing's wrong. The look on your face could make the toughest guy on the planet weep like a third-grade girl and your arms are crossed so tight you might explode. We're not mind readers; tell us what's going on. And don't make us guess because—believe me—you won't like what we come up with.
5) "I sound like my mom." The mere fact that you might turn into your mom someday scares the hell out of us. Don't say it, even in jest—it's not funny. We actually believe (and pray) that the saying "every woman ends up looking like their mother" is an old wives' tale. If we didn't, no one would ever get married.
6) "I just want to be friends." No you don't. You just want us to stop calling you. This is a lot like pulling off a band-aid. Do it quick—don't prolong the agony. Most of us take "I just want to be friends" as "There's still a chance," so if there isn't just make it a clean break and move on. Everyone will be much better because of it.
7) "Size doesn't matter." Don't lie to us. We know it does, and we're doing our best to make up for it in other ways. It's best just to not say anything at all.
8) "What are you wearing?"We're wearing whatever's clean or whatever you tell us to. We don't plan out our wardrobe days in advance, but we do actually try and look presentable. It may not work a lot of the time, but we do give it a shot. Giving us direction is completely encouraged though, so go ahead and suggest … nicely.
9) "Do you think she's pretty?" Of course we do, our standards are much lower than yours. But just because we check her out doesn't mean we think any less of you. We try to be as discreet as possible, but for the most part, we can't help it. It's in our DNA. When an attractive woman walks by, it's best to just pretend nothing happened.
10) "Which outfit do you like better?" I'm going to be honest here—90 percent of the guys out there are not going to tell you which outfit they like better: They're going to try to pick the one you like better and not get into a holy war when the babysitter is due any minute. To us, you always look good. Getting a couple cocktails and spending as much time as we can without the kids is our ultimate goal for a rare night out.
No, it's not just a game. And yes, we do think she's pretty.
By Craig Playstead
For years we've all heard the things men shouldn't say to women, such as "Yeah, those jeans do make you look a little chunky," and "Why didn't you tell me you had a hot friend."We've been doing our best to behave, but it's time you knew there are a few things that won't score you any points with the man in your life. For the most part, we're an open book, but there are a few things that make us cringe.Here's a look at 10 things women say that drive men nuts.
1) "That looks cute."For the most part, men hate cute. We don't want to hear about it, we don't want to see it, and we sure as hell don't want to be it. If we come down stairs after getting dressed and you tell us we look cute, there's a 100 percent chance we're changing. We're supposed to be your protector, your rock, and cute does not fit into that picture.
2) "We need to talk." These four words shut off a man's brain faster than long division. When men hear you say that they immediately go into flight mode. And anything they can do to get out of this conversation—and better yet, your apartment—they will. There are plenty of other ways to approach a delicate conversation, and getting us in a place where we feel comfortable is a good start.
3) "It's just a game." Actually, it's not just a game. Sports are a major part of our lives and the outcome has as much to do with our mood as just about anything else. Is it fair? No. Is it right? No. Is it immature? Maybe. But it's life. Sometimes we just care too much. We understand that it doesn't make sense, but you should be happy that we're that passionate about something. Telling us that "it's just a game" is like us telling you that Oprah's just a talk show host
.4) "Nothing's wrong." Please don't tell us nothing's wrong. The look on your face could make the toughest guy on the planet weep like a third-grade girl and your arms are crossed so tight you might explode. We're not mind readers; tell us what's going on. And don't make us guess because—believe me—you won't like what we come up with.
5) "I sound like my mom." The mere fact that you might turn into your mom someday scares the hell out of us. Don't say it, even in jest—it's not funny. We actually believe (and pray) that the saying "every woman ends up looking like their mother" is an old wives' tale. If we didn't, no one would ever get married.
6) "I just want to be friends." No you don't. You just want us to stop calling you. This is a lot like pulling off a band-aid. Do it quick—don't prolong the agony. Most of us take "I just want to be friends" as "There's still a chance," so if there isn't just make it a clean break and move on. Everyone will be much better because of it.
7) "Size doesn't matter." Don't lie to us. We know it does, and we're doing our best to make up for it in other ways. It's best just to not say anything at all.
8) "What are you wearing?"We're wearing whatever's clean or whatever you tell us to. We don't plan out our wardrobe days in advance, but we do actually try and look presentable. It may not work a lot of the time, but we do give it a shot. Giving us direction is completely encouraged though, so go ahead and suggest … nicely.
9) "Do you think she's pretty?" Of course we do, our standards are much lower than yours. But just because we check her out doesn't mean we think any less of you. We try to be as discreet as possible, but for the most part, we can't help it. It's in our DNA. When an attractive woman walks by, it's best to just pretend nothing happened.
10) "Which outfit do you like better?" I'm going to be honest here—90 percent of the guys out there are not going to tell you which outfit they like better: They're going to try to pick the one you like better and not get into a holy war when the babysitter is due any minute. To us, you always look good. Getting a couple cocktails and spending as much time as we can without the kids is our ultimate goal for a rare night out.
Friday, April 4, 2008
How the Apostle's Died
Matthew Suffered martyrdom in Ethiopia , killed by a sword wound.
Mark Died in Alexandria , Egypt , after being dragged by horses through the streets until he was dead.
Luke- was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous preaching to the lost.
John Faced martyrdom when he was boiled in huge basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution in Rome . However, he was miraculously delivered from death. John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison island of Patmos . He wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation on Patmos . The apostle John was later freed and returned to serve as Bishop of Edessa in modern Turkey . He died as an old man, the only apostle to die peacefully.
Peter was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross. According to church tradition it was because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die in the same way that Jesus Christ had died.
James, Just The leader of the church in Jerusalem , was thrown over a hundred feet down from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club.
* This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.
James the Great, son of Zebedee, was a fisherman by trade when Jesus called him to a lifetime of ministry. As a strong leader of the church, James was ultimately beheaded at Jerusalem . The Roman officer who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial. Later, the officer walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.
Bartholomew also known as Nathaniel Was a missionary to Asia . He witnessed for our Lord in present day Turkey . Bartholomew was martyred for his preaching in Armenia where he was flayed to death by a whip.
Andrew was crucified on an x-shaped cross in Patras , Greece . After being whipped severely by seven soldiers they tied his body to the cross with cords to prolong his agony. His followers reported that, when he was led toward the cross, Andrew saluted it in these words: "I have long desired and expected this happy hour. The cross has been consecrated by the body of Christ hanging on it." He continued to preach to his tormentors for two days until he expired.
Thomas Was stabbed with a spear in India during one of his missionary trips to establish the church in the sub-continent.
Jude, Was killed with arrows when he refused to deny his faith in Christ.
Matthias The apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot, was stoned and then beheaded.
Barnabas One of the group of seventy disciples, wrote the Epistle of Barnabas. He preached throughout Italy and Cyprus . Barnabas was stoned to death at Salonica.
Paul Was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment which allowed him to write his many epistles to the churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire . These letters, which taught many of the foundational doctrines of Christianity, form a large portion of the New Testament.
Perhaps this is a reminder to us that our sufferings here are indeed minor compared to the intense persecution and cold cruelty faced by the apostles disciples during their times for the sake of the Faith. And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake:
But he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22.
God says his ways are not so easy It is a narrow way not the broad way
Mark Died in Alexandria , Egypt , after being dragged by horses through the streets until he was dead.
Luke- was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous preaching to the lost.
John Faced martyrdom when he was boiled in huge basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution in Rome . However, he was miraculously delivered from death. John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison island of Patmos . He wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation on Patmos . The apostle John was later freed and returned to serve as Bishop of Edessa in modern Turkey . He died as an old man, the only apostle to die peacefully.
Peter was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross. According to church tradition it was because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die in the same way that Jesus Christ had died.
James, Just The leader of the church in Jerusalem , was thrown over a hundred feet down from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club.
* This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.
James the Great, son of Zebedee, was a fisherman by trade when Jesus called him to a lifetime of ministry. As a strong leader of the church, James was ultimately beheaded at Jerusalem . The Roman officer who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial. Later, the officer walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.
Bartholomew also known as Nathaniel Was a missionary to Asia . He witnessed for our Lord in present day Turkey . Bartholomew was martyred for his preaching in Armenia where he was flayed to death by a whip.
Andrew was crucified on an x-shaped cross in Patras , Greece . After being whipped severely by seven soldiers they tied his body to the cross with cords to prolong his agony. His followers reported that, when he was led toward the cross, Andrew saluted it in these words: "I have long desired and expected this happy hour. The cross has been consecrated by the body of Christ hanging on it." He continued to preach to his tormentors for two days until he expired.
Thomas Was stabbed with a spear in India during one of his missionary trips to establish the church in the sub-continent.
Jude, Was killed with arrows when he refused to deny his faith in Christ.
Matthias The apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot, was stoned and then beheaded.
Barnabas One of the group of seventy disciples, wrote the Epistle of Barnabas. He preached throughout Italy and Cyprus . Barnabas was stoned to death at Salonica.
Paul Was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment which allowed him to write his many epistles to the churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire . These letters, which taught many of the foundational doctrines of Christianity, form a large portion of the New Testament.
Perhaps this is a reminder to us that our sufferings here are indeed minor compared to the intense persecution and cold cruelty faced by the apostles disciples during their times for the sake of the Faith. And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake:
But he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22.
God says his ways are not so easy It is a narrow way not the broad way
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
How To handle Office Romance
Not so long ago, office romance was more taboo than to-do. But as the long-hours culture continues its steady march, cubicle couples and boardroom beaus are gracing workplaces everywhere.
According to a recent survey by US media company Vault, 47 per cent of respondents said they’d been involved in an office romance, while 82 per cent had known of an office romance taking place between colleagues.
Of course, stolen kisses by the stationery cupboard and lingering looks over the photocopier can bring misery as well as intrigue to your working week.
So how do you have an office romance without leaving a heart-shaped hole in your career?
Don’t: Bed your boss
While the chemistry between you and your boss may be palpable, many companies forbid relationships between supervisors and subordinates, so think carefully before you start an office romance. No matter how talented you are, colleagues may speculate about the ‘real’ reason for your next pay rise or promotion - and there's potential for sexual harassment claims, too.
Do: Check the small print
If you’re already in a relationship with a colleague, reviewing a copy of your employment contract may seem trivial compared to doe-eyed daydreams and galloping hearts. But checking the small print will determine whether your office romance remains permissible, or whether you're required to move departments, jobs or offices to avoid potential conflicts of interest.
Don’t: Neglect your work
Although it’s tempting to reminisce about the night before instead of concentrating on the task at hand, try not to let a knowing glance, compliment or smile from your partner distract you from your work. Set the rules of engagement, eyeball your goals, take positive action, and make the most of your elevated dopamine levels to work up a professional sweat.
Do: Keep it clean
Those lusty, libidinous emails might leave you hot under your lipstick-stained collar, but will they leave your employer cold? Emails that impact negatively on a company’s reputation can result in disciplinary procedures, so consider setting up a free email account for the purpose of sending and receiving your lettres d'amour.
Don’t: Play favourites
If you want your career to go the distance, take extra care not to reward your partner with undeserved brownie points - good intentions now could seriously stymie your chances of a promotion down the track. Avoid accusations of favouritism, or the appearance of preferential treatment, by making it a priority to treat all your colleagues equally.
Do: Play it cool
While you may want to tell the world that you’ve fallen head over heels, sometimes it’s better to keep quiet about love on the job until you’re sure that your relationship will last. The less your colleagues know, the better - there’ll be no need to prune the office grapevine, and your connection will benefit from all that initial secrecy.
Don’t: Act unprofessionally
If you and your partner can’t keep your hands off each other, use your acting skills and adopt identical personas of single, self-contained colleagues while you’re at work. Avoid intimate conversations or seductive smiles, and save frisky business for after hours. Similarly, don’t risk lowering colleague’s perceptions of your work performance - leave any personal differences at the office door.
Do: Kiss and keep quiet
Nobody starts an office romance intending to end it - but it happens. We’ve all heard about the ugly break-ups that divided colleagues, fuelled runaway rumours, and led to career sabotage. Fortunately, setting time aside to ensure you part maturely and without causing deliberate pain can minimise the potential for bitter retaliations, and help you deal with any awkward situations that may arise afterwards, too.
According to a recent survey by US media company Vault, 47 per cent of respondents said they’d been involved in an office romance, while 82 per cent had known of an office romance taking place between colleagues.
Of course, stolen kisses by the stationery cupboard and lingering looks over the photocopier can bring misery as well as intrigue to your working week.
So how do you have an office romance without leaving a heart-shaped hole in your career?
Don’t: Bed your boss
While the chemistry between you and your boss may be palpable, many companies forbid relationships between supervisors and subordinates, so think carefully before you start an office romance. No matter how talented you are, colleagues may speculate about the ‘real’ reason for your next pay rise or promotion - and there's potential for sexual harassment claims, too.
Do: Check the small print
If you’re already in a relationship with a colleague, reviewing a copy of your employment contract may seem trivial compared to doe-eyed daydreams and galloping hearts. But checking the small print will determine whether your office romance remains permissible, or whether you're required to move departments, jobs or offices to avoid potential conflicts of interest.
Don’t: Neglect your work
Although it’s tempting to reminisce about the night before instead of concentrating on the task at hand, try not to let a knowing glance, compliment or smile from your partner distract you from your work. Set the rules of engagement, eyeball your goals, take positive action, and make the most of your elevated dopamine levels to work up a professional sweat.
Do: Keep it clean
Those lusty, libidinous emails might leave you hot under your lipstick-stained collar, but will they leave your employer cold? Emails that impact negatively on a company’s reputation can result in disciplinary procedures, so consider setting up a free email account for the purpose of sending and receiving your lettres d'amour.
Don’t: Play favourites
If you want your career to go the distance, take extra care not to reward your partner with undeserved brownie points - good intentions now could seriously stymie your chances of a promotion down the track. Avoid accusations of favouritism, or the appearance of preferential treatment, by making it a priority to treat all your colleagues equally.
Do: Play it cool
While you may want to tell the world that you’ve fallen head over heels, sometimes it’s better to keep quiet about love on the job until you’re sure that your relationship will last. The less your colleagues know, the better - there’ll be no need to prune the office grapevine, and your connection will benefit from all that initial secrecy.
Don’t: Act unprofessionally
If you and your partner can’t keep your hands off each other, use your acting skills and adopt identical personas of single, self-contained colleagues while you’re at work. Avoid intimate conversations or seductive smiles, and save frisky business for after hours. Similarly, don’t risk lowering colleague’s perceptions of your work performance - leave any personal differences at the office door.
Do: Kiss and keep quiet
Nobody starts an office romance intending to end it - but it happens. We’ve all heard about the ugly break-ups that divided colleagues, fuelled runaway rumours, and led to career sabotage. Fortunately, setting time aside to ensure you part maturely and without causing deliberate pain can minimise the potential for bitter retaliations, and help you deal with any awkward situations that may arise afterwards, too.
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