Friday, August 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
14th of Every Month Celebrations
Do you know that in Korea, there is a monthly celebration of love? All of them are being celebrated on the 14th of every month. It is a celebration of love because all of them seems to be directed to people who are in love, being loved, and no one loves.
To start off,
January 14 is known as the Diary Day. It’s the day when lovers exchange diaries as a sign of love. It can also be one-way or only one person gives a diary to the person he/she loves. It can also be accompanied with flowers.
February 14, of course everyone knows it as Valentine’s Day. But unlike other traditions, on this day, the girls are the ones who give chocolates to the person she likes or loves. It can sometimes be a sign of confession.
March 14 is the White Day. This is payback day for the girls. On this day, the boys are the ones who give candies to the girl he likes or loves. It is also a way to confess their love.
April 14 is what they call Black Day. On this day, those who are single or not in a relationship meet and eat black noodles together. Maybe they are grieving or something.
May 14 has two celebrations. One is the Rose Day, where lovers exchange roses as a sign of their love. And the other is Yellow Day, where those who weren’t able to eat black noodles the previous month eat yellow curry rice.
June 14 is their Kiss Day. It is when lovers kiss each other to confirm their love. [I love June 14! ]
July 14 is known as the Silver Day. On this day, lovers exchange silver rings as a sign of their love. Together with rings, they make a promise of the future.
August 14 is none other than Music Day! It is a day to give someone a CD that’s full of love songs. [Woohoo! Free CD's everyone!]
September 14 is the Photo Day. A day for lovers to take pictures and keep them as a memory of their love.
October 14 is what they call Wine Day. It is when lovers drink wine together to celebrate their love. [no soju?]
November 14 also has two celebrations. One is the Movie Day. Lovers watch movies together while holding each others hand. [How sweet.] Another is the Hug Day, the day to give hugs to your loved ones. [Care to give me a hug?]
December 14 is also carrying two celebrations. Money Day, where you spend generously for the person you love, and Socks Day, where people give socks in advance for Christmas. [I prefer the money day ]
So that’s it folks. Ciao!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
13 Things Not to Share with Your Co-worker
It’s happened to everyone before. The constant flow of words that just keep coming, long after you’ve made your point (if there ever was one) and even longer after people stopped caring. The kind of gibberish that just won’t stop unless someone else starts talking. The type of chatter that inevitably ends with you wishing you’d put a sock in it.
Yes, verbal diarrhea is never a good thing – but it can be worse in some places more than others.
Like the workplace.
There are certain things co-workers need not know about each other – your baby-making plans and stomach issues, for example – but some folks just can’t seem to keep their mouths shut.
Some people talk to hear the sound of their own voice; others share because they don’t really have a life and, by revealing details you’d rather not know, they create the illusion of one, says Linda Lopeke, a career advancement expert and creator of SmartStart Virtual Mentoring Programs. “Then there is the person who believes gossip, even about them, creates instant emotional intimacy. It doesn’t.”
Walk the line
Because people spend more time at the office with co-workers than anywhere (or anyone) else, some workers have trouble drawing the line between business and friendship, says Susan Solovic, co-founder and CEO of SBTV.com, and author of three books, including “Reinvent Your Career: Attain the Success You Desire and Deserve.”
“It’s a social environment as well as a work environment. However, you must remember while you can be friendly and develop a good rapport, business is business and friendship is friendship.”
Most workers don’t realize that what they say has as much impact on their professional images as what they wear, Lopeke says. People who say too much, about themselves or others, can be seen as incompetent, unproductive and unworthy of professional development.
To avoid your next case of verbal diarrhea, here are 13 things to never share or discuss with your co-workers.
1. Salary information
What you earn is between you and Human Resources, Solovic says. Disclosure indicates you aren’t capable of keeping a confidence.
2. Medical history
“Nobody really cares about your aches and pains, your latest operation, your infertility woes or the contents of your medicine cabinet,” Lopeke says. To your employer, your constant medical issues make you seem like an expensive, high-risk employee.
3. Gossip
Whomever you’re gossiping with will undoubtedly tell others what you said, Solovic says. Plus, if a co-worker is gossiping with you, most likely he or she will gossip about you.
4. Work complaints
Constant complaints about your workload, stress levels or the company will quickly make you the kind of person who never gets invited to lunch, Solovic warns. If you don’t agree with company policies and procedures, address it through official channels or move on.
5. Cost of purchases
The spirit of keeping up with the Joneses is alive and well in the workplace, Lopeke says, but you don’t want others speculating on the lifestyle you’re living –or if you’re living beyond your salary bracket.
6. Intimate details
Don’t share intimate details about your personal life. Co-workers can and will use the information against you, Solovic says.
7. Politics or religion
“People have strong, passionate views on both topics,” Solovic says. You may alienate a co-worker or be viewed negatively in a way that could impact your career.
8. Lifestyle changes
Breakups, divorces and baby-making plans should be shared only if there is a need to know, Lopeke says. Otherwise, others will speak for your capabilities, desires and limitations on availability, whether there is any truth to their assumptions or not.
9. Blogs or social networking profile
What you say in a social networking community or in your personal blog may be even more damaging than what you say in person, Solovic warns. “Comments online can be seen by multiple eyes. An outburst of anger when you are having a bad day … can blow up in your face.”
10. Negative views of colleagues
If you don’t agree with a co-worker’s lifestyle, wardrobe or professional abilities, confront that person privately or keep it to yourself, Lopeke says. The workplace is not the venue for controversy.
11. Hangovers and wild weekends
It’s perfectly fine to have fun during the weekend, but don’t talk about your wild adventures on Monday, Solovic advises. That information can make you look unprofessional and unreliable.
12. Personal problems and relationships – in and out of the office
“Failed marriages and volatile romances spell instability to an employer,” Lopeke says. Office romances lead to gossip and broken hearts, so it’s best to steer clear. “The safest way to play is to follow the rule, ‘Never get your honey where you get your money.’”
13. Off-color or racially charged comments
You can assume your co-worker wouldn’t be offended or would think something is funny, but you might be wrong, Solovic says. Never take that risk. Furthermore, even if you know for certain your colleague wouldn’t mind your comment, don’t talk about it at work. Others can easily overhear.
Rachel Zupek is a writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues.
Yes, verbal diarrhea is never a good thing – but it can be worse in some places more than others.
Like the workplace.
There are certain things co-workers need not know about each other – your baby-making plans and stomach issues, for example – but some folks just can’t seem to keep their mouths shut.
Some people talk to hear the sound of their own voice; others share because they don’t really have a life and, by revealing details you’d rather not know, they create the illusion of one, says Linda Lopeke, a career advancement expert and creator of SmartStart Virtual Mentoring Programs. “Then there is the person who believes gossip, even about them, creates instant emotional intimacy. It doesn’t.”
Walk the line
Because people spend more time at the office with co-workers than anywhere (or anyone) else, some workers have trouble drawing the line between business and friendship, says Susan Solovic, co-founder and CEO of SBTV.com, and author of three books, including “Reinvent Your Career: Attain the Success You Desire and Deserve.”
“It’s a social environment as well as a work environment. However, you must remember while you can be friendly and develop a good rapport, business is business and friendship is friendship.”
Most workers don’t realize that what they say has as much impact on their professional images as what they wear, Lopeke says. People who say too much, about themselves or others, can be seen as incompetent, unproductive and unworthy of professional development.
To avoid your next case of verbal diarrhea, here are 13 things to never share or discuss with your co-workers.
1. Salary information
What you earn is between you and Human Resources, Solovic says. Disclosure indicates you aren’t capable of keeping a confidence.
2. Medical history
“Nobody really cares about your aches and pains, your latest operation, your infertility woes or the contents of your medicine cabinet,” Lopeke says. To your employer, your constant medical issues make you seem like an expensive, high-risk employee.
3. Gossip
Whomever you’re gossiping with will undoubtedly tell others what you said, Solovic says. Plus, if a co-worker is gossiping with you, most likely he or she will gossip about you.
4. Work complaints
Constant complaints about your workload, stress levels or the company will quickly make you the kind of person who never gets invited to lunch, Solovic warns. If you don’t agree with company policies and procedures, address it through official channels or move on.
5. Cost of purchases
The spirit of keeping up with the Joneses is alive and well in the workplace, Lopeke says, but you don’t want others speculating on the lifestyle you’re living –or if you’re living beyond your salary bracket.
6. Intimate details
Don’t share intimate details about your personal life. Co-workers can and will use the information against you, Solovic says.
7. Politics or religion
“People have strong, passionate views on both topics,” Solovic says. You may alienate a co-worker or be viewed negatively in a way that could impact your career.
8. Lifestyle changes
Breakups, divorces and baby-making plans should be shared only if there is a need to know, Lopeke says. Otherwise, others will speak for your capabilities, desires and limitations on availability, whether there is any truth to their assumptions or not.
9. Blogs or social networking profile
What you say in a social networking community or in your personal blog may be even more damaging than what you say in person, Solovic warns. “Comments online can be seen by multiple eyes. An outburst of anger when you are having a bad day … can blow up in your face.”
10. Negative views of colleagues
If you don’t agree with a co-worker’s lifestyle, wardrobe or professional abilities, confront that person privately or keep it to yourself, Lopeke says. The workplace is not the venue for controversy.
11. Hangovers and wild weekends
It’s perfectly fine to have fun during the weekend, but don’t talk about your wild adventures on Monday, Solovic advises. That information can make you look unprofessional and unreliable.
12. Personal problems and relationships – in and out of the office
“Failed marriages and volatile romances spell instability to an employer,” Lopeke says. Office romances lead to gossip and broken hearts, so it’s best to steer clear. “The safest way to play is to follow the rule, ‘Never get your honey where you get your money.’”
13. Off-color or racially charged comments
You can assume your co-worker wouldn’t be offended or would think something is funny, but you might be wrong, Solovic says. Never take that risk. Furthermore, even if you know for certain your colleague wouldn’t mind your comment, don’t talk about it at work. Others can easily overhear.
Rachel Zupek is a writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Why Women are leaving Men for Other Women
Cynthia Nixon did it. Lindsay Lohan's doing it. TV shows are based on it. Is it our imaginations, or are wives and girlfriends ditching their men and falling in love with other women? New science says that sexuality is more fluid than we thought.
Updated "American Gothic" painting featuring two women\\Photo courtesy of O, The Oprah Magazine © 2009
Lately, a new kind of sisterly love seems to be in the air. In the past few years, Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon left a boyfriend after a decade and a half and started dating a woman (and talked openly about it). Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson flaunted their relationship from New York to Dubai. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts. The L Word, Work Out, and Top Chef are featuring gay women on TV, and there's even talk of a lesbian reality show in the works. Certainly nothing is new about women having sex with women, but we've arrived at a moment in the popular culture when it all suddenly seems almost fashionable — or at least, acceptable.
Statistics on how many women have traded boyfriends and husbands for girlfriends are hard to come by. Although the U.S. Census Bureau keeps track of married, divorced, single, and even same-sex partners living together, it doesn't look for the stories behind those numbers. But experts like Binnie Klein, a Connecticut- based psychotherapist and lecturer in Yale's department of psychiatry, agree that alternative relationships are on the rise. "It's clear that a change in sexual orientation is imaginable to more people than ever before, and there's more opportunity — and acceptance — to cross over the line," says Klein, noting that a half-dozen of her married female patients in the past few years have fallen in love with women. "Most are afraid that if they don't go for it, they'll end up with regrets."
Feminist philosopher Susan Bordo, Ph.D., a professor of English and gender and women's studies at the University of Kentucky and author of Unbearable Weight: Feminism, Western Culture, and the Body, also agrees that in the current environment, more women may be stepping out of the conventional gender box. "When a taboo is lifted or diminished, it's going to leave people freer to pursue things," she says. "So it makes sense that we would see women, for all sorts of reasons, walking through that door now that the culture has cracked it open. Of course, we shouldn't imagine that we're living in a world where all sexual choices are possible. Just look at the cast of The L Word and it's clear that only a certain kind of lesbian — slim and elegant or butch in just the right androgynous way — is acceptable to mainstream culture."
That said, of the recent high-profile cases, it's Cynthia Nixon's down-to-earth attitude that may have blazed a trail for many women. In 1998, when Sex and the City debuted on HBO, she was settled in a long-term relationship with Danny Mozes, an English professor, with whom she had two children. They hadn't gotten married: "I was wary of it and felt like it was potentially a trap, so I steered clear of it," Nixon said in an interview with London's Daily Mirror. In 2004, after ending her 15-year relationship with Mozes, Nixon began seeing Christine Marinoni, at the time a public school advocate whom she'd met while working on a campaign to reduce class sizes in New York City. Marinoni was a great support when the actress was diagnosed with breast cancer. Far from hiding the relationship, Nixon has spoken freely in TV and newspaper interviews about it not being a big deal. "I have been with men all my life and had never met a woman I had fallen in love with before," she told the Daily Mirror. "But when I did, it didn't seem so strange. It didn't change who I am. I'm just a woman who fell in love with a woman."
Over the past several decades, scientists have struggled in fits and starts to get a handle on sexual orientation. Born or bred? Can it change during one's lifetime? A handful of studies in the 1990s, most of them focused on men, suggested that homosexuality is hardwired. In one study, researchers linked DNA markers in the Xq28 region of the X chromosome to gay males. But a subsequent larger study failed to replicate the results, leaving the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Psychological Association to speculate that sexual orientation probably has multiple causes, including environmental, cognitive, and biological factors.
Today, however, a new line of research is beginning to approach sexual orientation as much less fixed than previously thought, especially when it comes to women. The idea that human sexuality forms a continuum has been around since 1948, when Alfred Kinsey introduced his famous seven-point scale, with 0 representing complete heterosexuality, 7 signifying complete homosexuality, and bisexuality in the middle, where many of the men and women he interviewed fell. The new buzz phrase coming out of contemporary studies is "sexual fluidity."
"People always ask me if this research means everyone is bisexual. No, it doesn't," says Lisa Diamond, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah and author of the 2008 book Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire. "Fluidity represents a capacity to respond erotically in unexpected ways due to particular situations or relationships. It doesn't appear to be something a woman can control." Furthermore, studies indicate that it's more prevalent in women than in men, according to Bonnie Zylbergold, assistant editor of American Sexuality, an online magazine.
In a 2004 landmark study at Northwestern University, the results were eye-opening. During the experiment, the female subjects became sexually aroused when they viewed heterosexual as well as lesbian erotic films. This was true for both gay and straight women. Among the male subjects, however, the straight men were turned on only by erotic films with women, the gay ones by those with men. "We found that women's sexual desire is less rigidly directed toward a particular sex, as compared with men's, and it's more changeable over time," says the study's senior researcher, J. Michael Bailey, Ph.D. "These findings likely represent a fundamental difference between men's and women's brains."
This idea, that the libido can wander back and forth between genders, Diamond admits, may be threatening and confusing to those with conventional beliefs about sexual orientation. But when the women she's interviewed explain their feelings, it doesn't sound so wild. Many of them say, for example, they are attracted to the person, and not the gender — moved by traits like kindness, intelligence, and humor, which could apply to a man or a woman. Most of all, they long for an emotional connection. And if that comes by way of a female instead of a male, the thrill may override whatever heterosexual orientation they had.
Updated "American Gothic" painting featuring two women\\Photo courtesy of O, The Oprah Magazine © 2009
Lately, a new kind of sisterly love seems to be in the air. In the past few years, Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon left a boyfriend after a decade and a half and started dating a woman (and talked openly about it). Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson flaunted their relationship from New York to Dubai. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts. The L Word, Work Out, and Top Chef are featuring gay women on TV, and there's even talk of a lesbian reality show in the works. Certainly nothing is new about women having sex with women, but we've arrived at a moment in the popular culture when it all suddenly seems almost fashionable — or at least, acceptable.
Statistics on how many women have traded boyfriends and husbands for girlfriends are hard to come by. Although the U.S. Census Bureau keeps track of married, divorced, single, and even same-sex partners living together, it doesn't look for the stories behind those numbers. But experts like Binnie Klein, a Connecticut- based psychotherapist and lecturer in Yale's department of psychiatry, agree that alternative relationships are on the rise. "It's clear that a change in sexual orientation is imaginable to more people than ever before, and there's more opportunity — and acceptance — to cross over the line," says Klein, noting that a half-dozen of her married female patients in the past few years have fallen in love with women. "Most are afraid that if they don't go for it, they'll end up with regrets."
Feminist philosopher Susan Bordo, Ph.D., a professor of English and gender and women's studies at the University of Kentucky and author of Unbearable Weight: Feminism, Western Culture, and the Body, also agrees that in the current environment, more women may be stepping out of the conventional gender box. "When a taboo is lifted or diminished, it's going to leave people freer to pursue things," she says. "So it makes sense that we would see women, for all sorts of reasons, walking through that door now that the culture has cracked it open. Of course, we shouldn't imagine that we're living in a world where all sexual choices are possible. Just look at the cast of The L Word and it's clear that only a certain kind of lesbian — slim and elegant or butch in just the right androgynous way — is acceptable to mainstream culture."
That said, of the recent high-profile cases, it's Cynthia Nixon's down-to-earth attitude that may have blazed a trail for many women. In 1998, when Sex and the City debuted on HBO, she was settled in a long-term relationship with Danny Mozes, an English professor, with whom she had two children. They hadn't gotten married: "I was wary of it and felt like it was potentially a trap, so I steered clear of it," Nixon said in an interview with London's Daily Mirror. In 2004, after ending her 15-year relationship with Mozes, Nixon began seeing Christine Marinoni, at the time a public school advocate whom she'd met while working on a campaign to reduce class sizes in New York City. Marinoni was a great support when the actress was diagnosed with breast cancer. Far from hiding the relationship, Nixon has spoken freely in TV and newspaper interviews about it not being a big deal. "I have been with men all my life and had never met a woman I had fallen in love with before," she told the Daily Mirror. "But when I did, it didn't seem so strange. It didn't change who I am. I'm just a woman who fell in love with a woman."
Over the past several decades, scientists have struggled in fits and starts to get a handle on sexual orientation. Born or bred? Can it change during one's lifetime? A handful of studies in the 1990s, most of them focused on men, suggested that homosexuality is hardwired. In one study, researchers linked DNA markers in the Xq28 region of the X chromosome to gay males. But a subsequent larger study failed to replicate the results, leaving the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Psychological Association to speculate that sexual orientation probably has multiple causes, including environmental, cognitive, and biological factors.
Today, however, a new line of research is beginning to approach sexual orientation as much less fixed than previously thought, especially when it comes to women. The idea that human sexuality forms a continuum has been around since 1948, when Alfred Kinsey introduced his famous seven-point scale, with 0 representing complete heterosexuality, 7 signifying complete homosexuality, and bisexuality in the middle, where many of the men and women he interviewed fell. The new buzz phrase coming out of contemporary studies is "sexual fluidity."
"People always ask me if this research means everyone is bisexual. No, it doesn't," says Lisa Diamond, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah and author of the 2008 book Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire. "Fluidity represents a capacity to respond erotically in unexpected ways due to particular situations or relationships. It doesn't appear to be something a woman can control." Furthermore, studies indicate that it's more prevalent in women than in men, according to Bonnie Zylbergold, assistant editor of American Sexuality, an online magazine.
In a 2004 landmark study at Northwestern University, the results were eye-opening. During the experiment, the female subjects became sexually aroused when they viewed heterosexual as well as lesbian erotic films. This was true for both gay and straight women. Among the male subjects, however, the straight men were turned on only by erotic films with women, the gay ones by those with men. "We found that women's sexual desire is less rigidly directed toward a particular sex, as compared with men's, and it's more changeable over time," says the study's senior researcher, J. Michael Bailey, Ph.D. "These findings likely represent a fundamental difference between men's and women's brains."
This idea, that the libido can wander back and forth between genders, Diamond admits, may be threatening and confusing to those with conventional beliefs about sexual orientation. But when the women she's interviewed explain their feelings, it doesn't sound so wild. Many of them say, for example, they are attracted to the person, and not the gender — moved by traits like kindness, intelligence, and humor, which could apply to a man or a woman. Most of all, they long for an emotional connection. And if that comes by way of a female instead of a male, the thrill may override whatever heterosexual orientation they had.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sex during Pregnancy
Sex during pregnancy: Should you?
Is sex during pregnancy safe?
While pregnancy is the beginning of many physical and emotional changes, you will be pleased to know that, unless you have been advised otherwise for medical reasons, it is safe to have sex while pregnant. In fact, you may find sex is better than ever.
Throughout your pregnancy it's normal for your desire for sex to change. During the first trimester, you may experience the common symptoms of tiredness and nausea, both of which can lessen sexual interest. The good news is that this will probably be followed by renewed interest in the second trimester, with the return of feelings of well-being, energy, vitality and libido! Bear in mind though, that towards the end of your pregnancy, interest may wane again due to increased size and a general lack of desire.
Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
YES! Unless there is any medical reason to prevent it. In fact, during pregnancy, your body contains higher levels of hormones. These hormones cause physical changes, which in turn can create a heightened feeling of sensuality. Sex during pregnancy can be more stimulating and satisfying than ever, with some women experiencing orgasm or multiple orgasms for the first time.
In addition, your partner will probably enjoy the fact that you are experiencing feelings of enhanced sensuality, and may also find your new shape and extra curves quite sensual as well.
What physical and sexual changes occur?
During pregnancy, progesterone and oestrogen generally create a feeling of well-being and contentment, and can result in a glowing complexion, supple skin and healthy, shiny hair. These general physical changes are accompanied by more specific changes that can result in a fantastic physical relationship during pregnancy.
Increased oestrogen levels lead to an increase of blood flow in the pelvic area, causing the swelling that usually occurs when a woman is sexually aroused. Also, the nipples become darker (which can be attractive to your partner) and the breasts become larger, more sensitive and capable of feeling extreme sensation when touched or kissed. With all these nerve endings feeling super-sensitive, arousal is quicker and sensations are more intense and lasting, including orgasm.
When can we have sex?
Anytime - as long as there are no medical reasons preventing it and providing you're not too vigourous. There is no reason for you to stop making love during pregnancy unless, of course, your labour starts!
What are the best lovemaking positions during pregnancy?
Whatever is comfortable for both of you. At some point, the missionary position will become uncomfortable, so you will need to experiment with rear-entry, side-by-side and sitting positions. Don't forget sensual or erotic massage and oral sex too.
What are the benefits of continuing sex during pregnancy?
- Physical and emotional bonding between you and your partner - this is important, as you are about to embark on a new journey together as parents. The closer you are the easier it will be.
- Preparation of the pelvic muscles for childbirth - sex will help to keep your pelvic muscles toned and strong for the extreme physical experience ahead.
- Enjoyment! Being pregnant is a new experience and there's no reason why it can't be a new sensual experience too.
What if sex isn't enjoyable?
There are many physical and emotional changes during pregnancy. While some sexual relationships may improve during pregnancy, others may stagnate or suffer.The best approach is to be open with one another about your feelings, needs and expectations.
This may be an ideal opportunity to build on your sexual relationship, explore each other and find new ways of giving each other pleasure. The best way to overcome any difficulties is to spend time talking. Try to build security and a feeling of closeness by focusing on your love for each other rather than just your sex life (or lack of it!). Chances are if you feel intimate and close, more intimate and satisfying lovemaking will follow.
It might be a good time to indulge in a loving, sensual and erotic massage to set the mood!
Is sex during pregnancy safe?
While pregnancy is the beginning of many physical and emotional changes, you will be pleased to know that, unless you have been advised otherwise for medical reasons, it is safe to have sex while pregnant. In fact, you may find sex is better than ever.
Throughout your pregnancy it's normal for your desire for sex to change. During the first trimester, you may experience the common symptoms of tiredness and nausea, both of which can lessen sexual interest. The good news is that this will probably be followed by renewed interest in the second trimester, with the return of feelings of well-being, energy, vitality and libido! Bear in mind though, that towards the end of your pregnancy, interest may wane again due to increased size and a general lack of desire.
Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
YES! Unless there is any medical reason to prevent it. In fact, during pregnancy, your body contains higher levels of hormones. These hormones cause physical changes, which in turn can create a heightened feeling of sensuality. Sex during pregnancy can be more stimulating and satisfying than ever, with some women experiencing orgasm or multiple orgasms for the first time.
In addition, your partner will probably enjoy the fact that you are experiencing feelings of enhanced sensuality, and may also find your new shape and extra curves quite sensual as well.
What physical and sexual changes occur?
During pregnancy, progesterone and oestrogen generally create a feeling of well-being and contentment, and can result in a glowing complexion, supple skin and healthy, shiny hair. These general physical changes are accompanied by more specific changes that can result in a fantastic physical relationship during pregnancy.
Increased oestrogen levels lead to an increase of blood flow in the pelvic area, causing the swelling that usually occurs when a woman is sexually aroused. Also, the nipples become darker (which can be attractive to your partner) and the breasts become larger, more sensitive and capable of feeling extreme sensation when touched or kissed. With all these nerve endings feeling super-sensitive, arousal is quicker and sensations are more intense and lasting, including orgasm.
When can we have sex?
Anytime - as long as there are no medical reasons preventing it and providing you're not too vigourous. There is no reason for you to stop making love during pregnancy unless, of course, your labour starts!
What are the best lovemaking positions during pregnancy?
Whatever is comfortable for both of you. At some point, the missionary position will become uncomfortable, so you will need to experiment with rear-entry, side-by-side and sitting positions. Don't forget sensual or erotic massage and oral sex too.
What are the benefits of continuing sex during pregnancy?
- Physical and emotional bonding between you and your partner - this is important, as you are about to embark on a new journey together as parents. The closer you are the easier it will be.
- Preparation of the pelvic muscles for childbirth - sex will help to keep your pelvic muscles toned and strong for the extreme physical experience ahead.
- Enjoyment! Being pregnant is a new experience and there's no reason why it can't be a new sensual experience too.
What if sex isn't enjoyable?
There are many physical and emotional changes during pregnancy. While some sexual relationships may improve during pregnancy, others may stagnate or suffer.The best approach is to be open with one another about your feelings, needs and expectations.
This may be an ideal opportunity to build on your sexual relationship, explore each other and find new ways of giving each other pleasure. The best way to overcome any difficulties is to spend time talking. Try to build security and a feeling of closeness by focusing on your love for each other rather than just your sex life (or lack of it!). Chances are if you feel intimate and close, more intimate and satisfying lovemaking will follow.
It might be a good time to indulge in a loving, sensual and erotic massage to set the mood!
Sex during Pregnancy
Sex during pregnancy: Should you?
June 6, 2008
Is sex during pregnancy safe?
While pregnancy is the beginning of many physical and emotional changes, you will be pleased to know that, unless you have been advised otherwise for medical reasons, it is safe to have sex while pregnant. In fact, you may find sex is better than ever.
Throughout your pregnancy it's normal for your desire for sex to change. During the first trimester, you may experience the common symptoms of tiredness and nausea, both of which can lessen sexual interest. The good news is that this will probably be followed by renewed interest in the second trimester, with the return of feelings of well-being, energy, vitality and libido! Bear in mind though, that towards the end of your pregnancy, interest may wane again due to increased size and a general lack of desire.
Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
YES! Unless there is any medical reason to prevent it. In fact, during pregnancy, your body contains higher levels of hormones. These hormones cause physical changes, which in turn can create a heightened feeling of sensuality. Sex during pregnancy can be more stimulating and satisfying than ever, with some women experiencing orgasm or multiple orgasms for the first time.
In addition, your partner will probably enjoy the fact that you are experiencing feelings of enhanced sensuality, and may also find your new shape and extra curves quite sensual as well.
What physical and sexual changes occur?
During pregnancy, progesterone and oestrogen generally create a feeling of well-being and contentment, and can result in a glowing complexion, supple skin and healthy, shiny hair. These general physical changes are accompanied by more specific changes that can result in a fantastic physical relationship during pregnancy.
Increased oestrogen levels lead to an increase of blood flow in the pelvic area, causing the swelling that usually occurs when a woman is sexually aroused. Also, the nipples become darker (which can be attractive to your partner) and the breasts become larger, more sensitive and capable of feeling extreme sensation when touched or kissed. With all these nerve endings feeling super-sensitive, arousal is quicker and sensations are more intense and lasting, including orgasm.
When can we have sex?
Anytime - as long as there are no medical reasons preventing it and providing you're not too vigourous. There is no reason for you to stop making love during pregnancy unless, of course, your labour starts!
What are the best lovemaking positions during pregnancy?
Whatever is comfortable for both of you. At some point, the missionary position will become uncomfortable, so you will need to experiment with rear-entry, side-by-side and sitting positions. Don't forget sensual or erotic massage and oral sex too.
What are the benefits of continuing sex during pregnancy?
- Physical and emotional bonding between you and your partner - this is important, as you are about to embark on a new journey together as parents. The closer you are the easier it will be.
- Preparation of the pelvic muscles for childbirth - sex will help to keep your pelvic muscles toned and strong for the extreme physical experience ahead.
- Enjoyment! Being pregnant is a new experience and there's no reason why it can't be a new sensual experience too.
What if sex isn't enjoyable?
There are many physical and emotional changes during pregnancy. While some sexual relationships may improve during pregnancy, others may stagnate or suffer.The best approach is to be open with one another about your feelings, needs and expectations.
This may be an ideal opportunity to build on your sexual relationship, explore each other and find new ways of giving each other pleasure. The best way to overcome any difficulties is to spend time talking. Try to build security and a feeling of closeness by focusing on your love for each other rather than just your sex life (or lack of it!). Chances are if you feel intimate and close, more intimate and satisfying lovemaking will follow.
It might be a good time to indulge in a loving, sensual and erotic massage to set the mood!
June 6, 2008
Is sex during pregnancy safe?
While pregnancy is the beginning of many physical and emotional changes, you will be pleased to know that, unless you have been advised otherwise for medical reasons, it is safe to have sex while pregnant. In fact, you may find sex is better than ever.
Throughout your pregnancy it's normal for your desire for sex to change. During the first trimester, you may experience the common symptoms of tiredness and nausea, both of which can lessen sexual interest. The good news is that this will probably be followed by renewed interest in the second trimester, with the return of feelings of well-being, energy, vitality and libido! Bear in mind though, that towards the end of your pregnancy, interest may wane again due to increased size and a general lack of desire.
Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
YES! Unless there is any medical reason to prevent it. In fact, during pregnancy, your body contains higher levels of hormones. These hormones cause physical changes, which in turn can create a heightened feeling of sensuality. Sex during pregnancy can be more stimulating and satisfying than ever, with some women experiencing orgasm or multiple orgasms for the first time.
In addition, your partner will probably enjoy the fact that you are experiencing feelings of enhanced sensuality, and may also find your new shape and extra curves quite sensual as well.
What physical and sexual changes occur?
During pregnancy, progesterone and oestrogen generally create a feeling of well-being and contentment, and can result in a glowing complexion, supple skin and healthy, shiny hair. These general physical changes are accompanied by more specific changes that can result in a fantastic physical relationship during pregnancy.
Increased oestrogen levels lead to an increase of blood flow in the pelvic area, causing the swelling that usually occurs when a woman is sexually aroused. Also, the nipples become darker (which can be attractive to your partner) and the breasts become larger, more sensitive and capable of feeling extreme sensation when touched or kissed. With all these nerve endings feeling super-sensitive, arousal is quicker and sensations are more intense and lasting, including orgasm.
When can we have sex?
Anytime - as long as there are no medical reasons preventing it and providing you're not too vigourous. There is no reason for you to stop making love during pregnancy unless, of course, your labour starts!
What are the best lovemaking positions during pregnancy?
Whatever is comfortable for both of you. At some point, the missionary position will become uncomfortable, so you will need to experiment with rear-entry, side-by-side and sitting positions. Don't forget sensual or erotic massage and oral sex too.
What are the benefits of continuing sex during pregnancy?
- Physical and emotional bonding between you and your partner - this is important, as you are about to embark on a new journey together as parents. The closer you are the easier it will be.
- Preparation of the pelvic muscles for childbirth - sex will help to keep your pelvic muscles toned and strong for the extreme physical experience ahead.
- Enjoyment! Being pregnant is a new experience and there's no reason why it can't be a new sensual experience too.
What if sex isn't enjoyable?
There are many physical and emotional changes during pregnancy. While some sexual relationships may improve during pregnancy, others may stagnate or suffer.The best approach is to be open with one another about your feelings, needs and expectations.
This may be an ideal opportunity to build on your sexual relationship, explore each other and find new ways of giving each other pleasure. The best way to overcome any difficulties is to spend time talking. Try to build security and a feeling of closeness by focusing on your love for each other rather than just your sex life (or lack of it!). Chances are if you feel intimate and close, more intimate and satisfying lovemaking will follow.
It might be a good time to indulge in a loving, sensual and erotic massage to set the mood!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Break Up Reasons
1. You Had A Big Fight
Having a conflict with your partner is not only a reason to break up, it's often a reason that you should stay together. Even the most reasonable people disagree with each other, and the way you resolve your differences can help your relationship climb to new levels. So don't clam up or head for the door at the first sign of a disagreement. Instead, use it as a way to further understand your partner and what makes him or her tick.
2. Your Partner Doesn't Like Everything You Like
That's perfectly fine and no reason to start searching for a new partner. Differences can be healthy. Having your own things to do can naturally give a relationship the space it requires. As long as you have enough shared interests to remain united as a couple, take a hint from the French -- vive la difference!
3. Your Partner Finds Other People Attractive
Just because you've captured another's heart, it doesn't mean that you've removed the eyes from that person's head, too. Even when fully loved, it's crazy to think that your partner has gone blind to get attracted to others. Physically attractive people are all around us so it's na�ve to think that they'll go unnoticed. There's even a chance that your loved one will feel that pull of chemistry with someone else, too, so you'd better learn how to manage it. In a good committed relationship, the partners are not cut off to external influences, but they're mature enough to know that acting on them is a recipe for disaster.
4. You Don't Have Time For A Relationship
We all know how important your career is and the world will collapse without your undivided attention and input. But get your priorities straight. Astronauts have partners, as do scientists, doctors, judges, teachers and even presidents. You're a very important person, but never too important to enjoy one of the greatest and most important pleasures in life: a loving relationship. Understand that having love in your life will make all that seem even more worthwhile.
5. Baggage Has Got You Down
We all carry a certain amount of baggage with us, and not just when we go on vacation. But just because you've had a bad experience in your past, it doesn't mean you have to carry it with you forever into your future. Instead, learn from those experiences, use them as a way to make wiser choices and break the pattern. Your new partner is not your old partner and just because that person treated you badly doesn't mean that your new partner will, too...
6. He or She Doesn't Do As You Say
While you and your new love may give each other pet names, one thing your sweetie is not is an actual pet. He or she won't sit and stay when you want, nor should you want that. While small power struggles are common in all relationships, some people's need for the ultimate say can destroy the peace. Maybe you're not happy with your significant other going out with his friends. Or you don't like it when she voices her opinions. If this is so, it's your issue, not your partner's, and it's not a reason to pull the plug. If you find that it's a recurring theme for you, maybe it's time to seek personal therapy and work through your own problems before blaming your partner.
7. You Let Petty Things Get In The Way
A lot of people need drama in their lives to feel alive, but the only thing regal about a drama queen is that she can be a royal pain. Like a critic reviewing a movie, it's easy to pick on what's wrong with something and make it into something bigger than it is: "OMG, he got me an emerald necklace for my birthday, and he KNOWS I hate green." "I'm so sick of her tuning the radio to country FM when we're in her car." If you have specific issues with something, talk about it, but focus on the positive, like the thoughtfulness of a gift or a simple ride to the airport. Be thankful for the love in your life and for what you are getting out of your relationship and remember to look at the bigger picture and stop sweating the details.
____________ _________ _________ ____________ _________ _________ ____________ _________ _________ ____________ _________ ________
__._,_.___
Having a conflict with your partner is not only a reason to break up, it's often a reason that you should stay together. Even the most reasonable people disagree with each other, and the way you resolve your differences can help your relationship climb to new levels. So don't clam up or head for the door at the first sign of a disagreement. Instead, use it as a way to further understand your partner and what makes him or her tick.
2. Your Partner Doesn't Like Everything You Like
That's perfectly fine and no reason to start searching for a new partner. Differences can be healthy. Having your own things to do can naturally give a relationship the space it requires. As long as you have enough shared interests to remain united as a couple, take a hint from the French -- vive la difference!
3. Your Partner Finds Other People Attractive
Just because you've captured another's heart, it doesn't mean that you've removed the eyes from that person's head, too. Even when fully loved, it's crazy to think that your partner has gone blind to get attracted to others. Physically attractive people are all around us so it's na�ve to think that they'll go unnoticed. There's even a chance that your loved one will feel that pull of chemistry with someone else, too, so you'd better learn how to manage it. In a good committed relationship, the partners are not cut off to external influences, but they're mature enough to know that acting on them is a recipe for disaster.
4. You Don't Have Time For A Relationship
We all know how important your career is and the world will collapse without your undivided attention and input. But get your priorities straight. Astronauts have partners, as do scientists, doctors, judges, teachers and even presidents. You're a very important person, but never too important to enjoy one of the greatest and most important pleasures in life: a loving relationship. Understand that having love in your life will make all that seem even more worthwhile.
5. Baggage Has Got You Down
We all carry a certain amount of baggage with us, and not just when we go on vacation. But just because you've had a bad experience in your past, it doesn't mean you have to carry it with you forever into your future. Instead, learn from those experiences, use them as a way to make wiser choices and break the pattern. Your new partner is not your old partner and just because that person treated you badly doesn't mean that your new partner will, too...
6. He or She Doesn't Do As You Say
While you and your new love may give each other pet names, one thing your sweetie is not is an actual pet. He or she won't sit and stay when you want, nor should you want that. While small power struggles are common in all relationships, some people's need for the ultimate say can destroy the peace. Maybe you're not happy with your significant other going out with his friends. Or you don't like it when she voices her opinions. If this is so, it's your issue, not your partner's, and it's not a reason to pull the plug. If you find that it's a recurring theme for you, maybe it's time to seek personal therapy and work through your own problems before blaming your partner.
7. You Let Petty Things Get In The Way
A lot of people need drama in their lives to feel alive, but the only thing regal about a drama queen is that she can be a royal pain. Like a critic reviewing a movie, it's easy to pick on what's wrong with something and make it into something bigger than it is: "OMG, he got me an emerald necklace for my birthday, and he KNOWS I hate green." "I'm so sick of her tuning the radio to country FM when we're in her car." If you have specific issues with something, talk about it, but focus on the positive, like the thoughtfulness of a gift or a simple ride to the airport. Be thankful for the love in your life and for what you are getting out of your relationship and remember to look at the bigger picture and stop sweating the details.
____________ _________ _________ ____________ _________ _________ ____________ _________ _________ ____________ _________ ________
__._,_.___
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Keeping Love Alive - Despite A Layoff
A job loss can put financial and emotional strain on a relationship
By Eve Tahmincioglu
Jim and Renee Fellows, who have been married for 20 years, won’t be going out for a romantic dinner this Valentine’s Day.
Jim lost his job three weeks ago as a manufacturing manager for Pearson Education, a job he held for more than a decade. Renee, who runs her own firm, called ClearPoint Marketing Communications, has seen her client load fall off recently given the economic downturn.
“We’re not going to pay $65 for a babysitter and $65 for dinner,” said Renee. “That’s just not going to happen right now.”
The Fellows — who live in
“Being the one that’s let go, you feel miserable,” Jim said. “You just have to communicate with each other.”
“It doesn’t have to be diamonds and roses,” added Renee, who says they were not living extravagantly before the layoff. “That’s not what a marriage is about.”
The Fellows have weathered layoffs in the past. But for so many couples, this recession and the mass layoffs that have resulted will test even the best of marriages.
When a spouse suffers a job loss, the strain on a marriage or relationship can cause not just financial but emotional problems as well.
“The romance tends to go down the toilet, not just because of the financial stuff,” said Thierry Guedj, a professor and workplace psychology expert at
Divorce rates go up during a recession
Some studies even point to a higher rate of divorce when one spouse, or even both, end up on the unemployment line. A British study released late last year by the Institute for Social and Economic Research at the
As Nobel laureate Gary Becker, a University of Chicago Graduate School of Business economist, told Time magazine in October: “Recessions tend to raise divorce rates.”
This particular recession has begun to hit couples hard.
The jobless rate among married men was 5 percent in January, up from 4.4 percent in December of 2008, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor statistics. The rate among married women jumped to 4.7 percent, from 4.5 percent over the same period. Although lower than the overall unemployment rate of 7.6 percent, the jobless numbers among married couples are rising substantially, reaching levels not seen since the early 1990s.
And that’s wreaking havoc on wedded bliss.
Nicholas Yrizarry, a financial planner from
“The extreme I see are couples who were already overextended with credit cards maxed out and big houses, and now, if one of them loses their job, there’s tension in unspeakable amounts,” he said.
Losing sight of what really matters — love
One of his clients was on the emotional brink because he was laid off recently and saw his portfolio fall by 30 percent. “He was sitting in my office with his head in his hands crying,” Yrizarry said. “And this guy was a Ph.D. economist.”
In this case, the client’s wife helped pull him out of his misery, Yrizarry said. “She was the strong one and showed him she still had confidence in him.”
For couples facing economic hardship because of a layoff, it's easy to lose sight of what really matters — love.
Yrizarry said he sees two types of couples: the ones who are obsessed with money and material things and allow a layoff to destroy their marriage; and the ones who have a mature relationship and adversity only brings them closer. “They are the types that can live in a phone booth together and still be OK,” he said.
While almost anyone can crack under financial pressures, keep a few things in mind in order to help you and your significant other come out stronger.
On the financial side, Yrizarry suggests planning, planning, planning:
1. Sit down “calmly” and discuss what your assets are.
2. Come up with a financial plan to deal with the loss of income and strategies to get a new job — or have a non-working spouse get a job. Assess your options for taking on temporary work or retraining if your skills are not marketable anymore.
3. Implement the plan.
As for the emotional toll, it’s all about respecting each other.
Couples shouldn’t play the blame game but should concentrate on being supportive, said
The idea that men take job loss worse than women is largely a myth today because both sexes have come to view their careers as a key part of their identities, he said. It's also important for those who have lost a job to reach out to friends or family for support.
Talk about finances
This may be a good time to find out what your spouse’s financial demons are, said Spencer Sherman, author of “The Cure for Money Madness.”
Money is an “explosive” topic and difficult to talk about, he said, which is what gets many couples in trouble. Resentment can start to surface because one spouse is angry the other bought expensive hunting gear or a fancy dress. “That begins to lead to finger pointing and blame.”
Many couples don’t know each other’s financial histories when it comes to spending or savings and what they learned from their parents, he said. “You have to find out what each other’s values are around money when it comes to things like retirement, college education.”
He suggests couples carve out two hours with no kids to talk about the job loss and come up with two actions plans. One assumes you’ll be able to find a new job within a few months and the other is for a worst-case scenario.
The Fellows actually made a list to deal with the financial side of their economic strife:
Plan A – Jim finds a good, secure position in his field.
Plan B – Jim finds a position outside his field.
Plan C – Renee takes a full-time position in her field and Jim looks for alternative work outside his field. For example, teaching, maintenance or purchasing.
Plan D – Jim and Renee relocate to a more affordable region of the country, such as
“Having a set of plans helps us to remain focused and gives us immediate alternatives should life not happen according to our first plan,” said Renee. “We are seeing so many of our friends go through these same situations. Some have a plan, but many do not.”
As for their keep-our-relationship-intact plan, she added that it’s important to recognize that the tension in the relationship is coming from money woes. “Then you can deal with it better.”
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
A man's guide to conception
Conception
There are some pretty important basics that you should be aware of if you want to successfully conceive.
Successful conception is dependent on a man producing a healthy sperm, which then fertilises a healthy egg from a woman. What you may not be aware of is that beyond just having regular intercourse, there is a rather tricky sequence of events involved.
If your partner has talked about ovulation, checking mucus, checking body temperature or working out the length of her cycle and you are not entirely sure what this all means, then read on.
Ovulation Ovulation is the development and release of an ovum (egg) from a woman's ovaries. A woman is fertile around the time of the month that she is ovulating. The Ovarian cycle, which results in a woman having a menstrual period, usually occurs in cycles of approximately 28 days (though this can vary). Ovulation generally occurs at about the middle of the cycle, or 14 days before the first day of a woman's menstrual period.
Many women find that it can take time to accurately determine when ovulation is occurring . While there are various indicators, they are not always as straight forward as they sound. Two ways that women can determine whether they are ovulating are;
Observing changes in cervical mucusMucus increases in volume as the monthly cycle progresses and becomes more plentiful and slippery (often described as the consistency of raw egg white) during ovulation.
Checking basal body temperatureIf your partner is checking and charting her temperature every morning, she is looking for a pattern during her cycle, which will indicate when she is ovulating. Prior to ovulation temperature drops slightly, then following ovulation temperature increases and remains high for the rest of the cycle. Once this pattern is determined, you will know your fertile period of the month.
EjaculationAs you know, this is your job! On average about two thirds of a teaspoonful of seminal fluid is expelled on ejaculation, containing about 210 - 525 million sperm. About one quarter of these sperm will be abnormal and the remaining three quarters will be capable of independent movement which is needed to reach the fallopian tube. Once the sperm enter the vagina, they will be deterred from continuing on their path by the slightly acidic vaginal secretions. Of the millions of sperm released in each ejaculation, only a few hundred will reach the female egg in the fallopian tube.Conception Prior to conception, an egg was released from one of your partner's ovaries and began to travel down the fallopian tube. At the moment of conception, one of your sperm met, entered and fertilised your partner's egg, which then sealed itself off to exclude all other sperm.
When your sperm fertilise your partner's egg, the genes or chromosomes from each of you combine to create a cell. This cell then starts to divide, becoming a collection of cells, or blastocyst.
The blastocyst continues to divide and grow, moving down the fallopian tube until it reaches the uterus (or womb) between 3 and 7 days later. Once in the uterus, the blastocyst will implant itself into the lining of the uterus, but before this happens, a change occurs. The blastocyst creates a liquid pocket in its centre. This fluid space creates a division in the blastocyst, resulting in an inner cell mass, which will form the embryo, and an outer trophoblast, which will form the placenta.
About a week after conception, the outer cells help the blastocyst to implant or embed into the lining of the uterus so that it can seek nourishment. As a result of the hormone changes following conception, the lining of the uterus has already become thicker and has an increased blood supply in preparation for implantation. The process of implantation usually takes about one week.
When is the best time to have sex?A woman's most fertile period is from four to five days before ovulation to 24 hours afterward. Basically, sperm cells can live for 72 hours but unless fertilised, ova survive no longer than 24 hours.
If you and your partner are trying for a baby, the best times to have intercourse are in the days immediately preceding ovulation and the day of ovulation. If your partner cannot determine when she is ovulating, one suggestion is to have intercourse every second day from day 10 to day 18 of her ovarian cycle (the most likely period of ovulation for most women).
When should you worry about your fertility?Considering that at your most fertile peak (around 24) you only have about a 25% chance of falling pregnant during every cycle, most Health Practitioners will probably advise you not to worry for at least twelve months. In most cases, specialists will not see you until you have been having regular intercourse and trying to fall pregnant for at least a year.
Remember, while it often seems that everyone else suddenly fell pregnant, they may have been trying for some time. The best way to increase your chances of falling pregnant each month is to identify your partner's peak fertile period and then ensure you have sex at that time of the month. If you have any concerns, however, it is important to talk to your partner, and your Health Practitioner to get answers to your questions.
Sometimes it is useful to talk to others to find out how long it took them to fall pregnant. You may be surprised to find that it's not uncommon for a couple to take over twelve months to fall pregnant, especially as they get older.
My partner seems preoccupied with falling pregnant. Is this normal?While you may not be concerned about how quickly your partner falls pregnant, she may seem to become pre-occupied about fertile periods and how long it is taking.
Remember that a woman who is trying to fall pregnant has made a committment to a major life changing experience - for many women this usually involves making some fundamental lifestyle choices! Having decided to have a baby, women should avoid alcohol and cigarettes, eat a healthy and nutritious diet, start an exercise routine and make any other necessary adjustments to their lifestyle BEFORE falling pregnant.
Having done all of this, your partner usually won't be able to confirm a pregnancy until at least two weeks after conception or until her period is late. This means that for at least two weeks of every menstrual cycle, your partner is aware that she "might" be pregnant. It is difficult for a woman not to feel preoccupied under these circumstances.
Also, as many couples are postponing having children until later due to career, travel or other reasons, the tendency for a woman to plan her life, including planning when she will have a baby, is common. Many women are accustomed to making a decision and acting on it, while conceiving a child does not fit into that mode of thought. This can be extremely frustrating in itself.
There are some pretty important basics that you should be aware of if you want to successfully conceive.
Successful conception is dependent on a man producing a healthy sperm, which then fertilises a healthy egg from a woman. What you may not be aware of is that beyond just having regular intercourse, there is a rather tricky sequence of events involved.
If your partner has talked about ovulation, checking mucus, checking body temperature or working out the length of her cycle and you are not entirely sure what this all means, then read on.
Ovulation Ovulation is the development and release of an ovum (egg) from a woman's ovaries. A woman is fertile around the time of the month that she is ovulating. The Ovarian cycle, which results in a woman having a menstrual period, usually occurs in cycles of approximately 28 days (though this can vary). Ovulation generally occurs at about the middle of the cycle, or 14 days before the first day of a woman's menstrual period.
Many women find that it can take time to accurately determine when ovulation is occurring . While there are various indicators, they are not always as straight forward as they sound. Two ways that women can determine whether they are ovulating are;
Observing changes in cervical mucusMucus increases in volume as the monthly cycle progresses and becomes more plentiful and slippery (often described as the consistency of raw egg white) during ovulation.
Checking basal body temperatureIf your partner is checking and charting her temperature every morning, she is looking for a pattern during her cycle, which will indicate when she is ovulating. Prior to ovulation temperature drops slightly, then following ovulation temperature increases and remains high for the rest of the cycle. Once this pattern is determined, you will know your fertile period of the month.
EjaculationAs you know, this is your job! On average about two thirds of a teaspoonful of seminal fluid is expelled on ejaculation, containing about 210 - 525 million sperm. About one quarter of these sperm will be abnormal and the remaining three quarters will be capable of independent movement which is needed to reach the fallopian tube. Once the sperm enter the vagina, they will be deterred from continuing on their path by the slightly acidic vaginal secretions. Of the millions of sperm released in each ejaculation, only a few hundred will reach the female egg in the fallopian tube.Conception Prior to conception, an egg was released from one of your partner's ovaries and began to travel down the fallopian tube. At the moment of conception, one of your sperm met, entered and fertilised your partner's egg, which then sealed itself off to exclude all other sperm.
When your sperm fertilise your partner's egg, the genes or chromosomes from each of you combine to create a cell. This cell then starts to divide, becoming a collection of cells, or blastocyst.
The blastocyst continues to divide and grow, moving down the fallopian tube until it reaches the uterus (or womb) between 3 and 7 days later. Once in the uterus, the blastocyst will implant itself into the lining of the uterus, but before this happens, a change occurs. The blastocyst creates a liquid pocket in its centre. This fluid space creates a division in the blastocyst, resulting in an inner cell mass, which will form the embryo, and an outer trophoblast, which will form the placenta.
About a week after conception, the outer cells help the blastocyst to implant or embed into the lining of the uterus so that it can seek nourishment. As a result of the hormone changes following conception, the lining of the uterus has already become thicker and has an increased blood supply in preparation for implantation. The process of implantation usually takes about one week.
When is the best time to have sex?A woman's most fertile period is from four to five days before ovulation to 24 hours afterward. Basically, sperm cells can live for 72 hours but unless fertilised, ova survive no longer than 24 hours.
If you and your partner are trying for a baby, the best times to have intercourse are in the days immediately preceding ovulation and the day of ovulation. If your partner cannot determine when she is ovulating, one suggestion is to have intercourse every second day from day 10 to day 18 of her ovarian cycle (the most likely period of ovulation for most women).
When should you worry about your fertility?Considering that at your most fertile peak (around 24) you only have about a 25% chance of falling pregnant during every cycle, most Health Practitioners will probably advise you not to worry for at least twelve months. In most cases, specialists will not see you until you have been having regular intercourse and trying to fall pregnant for at least a year.
Remember, while it often seems that everyone else suddenly fell pregnant, they may have been trying for some time. The best way to increase your chances of falling pregnant each month is to identify your partner's peak fertile period and then ensure you have sex at that time of the month. If you have any concerns, however, it is important to talk to your partner, and your Health Practitioner to get answers to your questions.
Sometimes it is useful to talk to others to find out how long it took them to fall pregnant. You may be surprised to find that it's not uncommon for a couple to take over twelve months to fall pregnant, especially as they get older.
My partner seems preoccupied with falling pregnant. Is this normal?While you may not be concerned about how quickly your partner falls pregnant, she may seem to become pre-occupied about fertile periods and how long it is taking.
Remember that a woman who is trying to fall pregnant has made a committment to a major life changing experience - for many women this usually involves making some fundamental lifestyle choices! Having decided to have a baby, women should avoid alcohol and cigarettes, eat a healthy and nutritious diet, start an exercise routine and make any other necessary adjustments to their lifestyle BEFORE falling pregnant.
Having done all of this, your partner usually won't be able to confirm a pregnancy until at least two weeks after conception or until her period is late. This means that for at least two weeks of every menstrual cycle, your partner is aware that she "might" be pregnant. It is difficult for a woman not to feel preoccupied under these circumstances.
Also, as many couples are postponing having children until later due to career, travel or other reasons, the tendency for a woman to plan her life, including planning when she will have a baby, is common. Many women are accustomed to making a decision and acting on it, while conceiving a child does not fit into that mode of thought. This can be extremely frustrating in itself.
Atom Smasher Breaks down
The huge particle collider built to simulate the conditions of the "Big Bang" will not restart until the European spring 2009 after a weekend technical glitch, the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) said on Tuesday.
A helium leak into the tunnel housing the biggest and most complex machine ever made forced CERN to shut down its Large Hadron Collider (LHC) on Saturday, just 10 days after starting it up.
CERN Director-General Robert Aymar said this was a psychological blow after a successful start of the LHC following years of painstaking preparation by skilled teams of scientists.
"I have no doubt that we will overcome this setback with the same degree of rigour and application," he said in a statement.
The most likely cause of the leak of helium into the LHC's 17-mile (27-km) tunnel under the French-Swiss border was a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's giant magnets, CERN said.
For a full understanding of the incident scientists must now raise those sectors of the tunnel back to room temperature from its operating temperature of minus 271.3 degrees Celsius (minus 456.3 degrees Fahrenheit) and open the magnets for inspection, a process taking 3-4 weeks.
This investigation and repairs, followed by CERN's winter maintenance period, will push back the restart of the accelerator complex to early spring 2009, CERN said.
CERN will then resume sending beams of particles around the tunnel, as it did successfully after starting up the LHC on Sept. 10. The next step is to smash beams travelling in opposite directions into each other at nearly the speed of light.
This would attempt to recreate on a miniature scale the heat and energy of the Big Bang, the explosion generally believed by cosmologists to be at the origin of our expanding universe.
At full speed the LHC will engineer 600 million collisions every second of subatomic particles called protons, which will explode in a burst of new and previously unseen types of particles.
The experiment could confirm the existence of the Higgs Boson, a theoretical particle named after Peter Higgs who first proposed it in 1964 as a way of explaining how matter has mass.
CERN, which has had to dismiss suggestions that its experiment could create tiny black holes of intense gravity that could swallow up the whole of planet Earth, says there was never any risk to people from the malfunction
A helium leak into the tunnel housing the biggest and most complex machine ever made forced CERN to shut down its Large Hadron Collider (LHC) on Saturday, just 10 days after starting it up.
CERN Director-General Robert Aymar said this was a psychological blow after a successful start of the LHC following years of painstaking preparation by skilled teams of scientists.
"I have no doubt that we will overcome this setback with the same degree of rigour and application," he said in a statement.
The most likely cause of the leak of helium into the LHC's 17-mile (27-km) tunnel under the French-Swiss border was a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's giant magnets, CERN said.
For a full understanding of the incident scientists must now raise those sectors of the tunnel back to room temperature from its operating temperature of minus 271.3 degrees Celsius (minus 456.3 degrees Fahrenheit) and open the magnets for inspection, a process taking 3-4 weeks.
This investigation and repairs, followed by CERN's winter maintenance period, will push back the restart of the accelerator complex to early spring 2009, CERN said.
CERN will then resume sending beams of particles around the tunnel, as it did successfully after starting up the LHC on Sept. 10. The next step is to smash beams travelling in opposite directions into each other at nearly the speed of light.
This would attempt to recreate on a miniature scale the heat and energy of the Big Bang, the explosion generally believed by cosmologists to be at the origin of our expanding universe.
At full speed the LHC will engineer 600 million collisions every second of subatomic particles called protons, which will explode in a burst of new and previously unseen types of particles.
The experiment could confirm the existence of the Higgs Boson, a theoretical particle named after Peter Higgs who first proposed it in 1964 as a way of explaining how matter has mass.
CERN, which has had to dismiss suggestions that its experiment could create tiny black holes of intense gravity that could swallow up the whole of planet Earth, says there was never any risk to people from the malfunction
The 7 secrets of a Conient & Secure Woman
The Seven Secrets of a Confident & Secure Woman by Scott Smallwood
1. A confident & secure woman REPOSITIONS HERSELF
A confident woman never forgets the one thing that never changes –THINGS CONSTANTLY CHANGE.
With the winds of change ever blowing, a secure woman realizes that she may not currently possess all the tools that will take her to her goal, but she’s always ready to learn what she needs to know in order to get there. This may mean going back to school, changing job or vocations or even moving to a different location, but she is ready, willing and able to adapt to changing circumstances.
2. A confident & secure woman KNOWS HOW TO GIVE AND TAKE
A confident woman understands that the gift is in the giving. She knows the laws that tell her what she gives will return to her several times over. She will give her time, energy and even her heart to those who need her. However, she also knows that she is not a super human and she does not over-extend herself. She regularly takes time for herself! She also recognizes that she has limits and, at times, finds herself in a position of needing assistance and is not afraid to ask for what she needs.
3. A confident & secure woman LIVES IN THE PRESENT
Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future is the bread of idleness that a confident woman refuses to eat. When recalling the past, she does not allow herself to dwell there but, rather, refocuses on the here and now. She understands that her past experiences, whether joyful or painful, are a part of her and have made her the confident person that she is today. She learns from the past and uses that information for current decision making. She has hopes for the future and engages in the occasional daydream while keeping herself solidly in the present tense of her life.
4. A confident & secure woman KEEPS HERE EYE ON THE PRIZE
Not everything we do comes up roses. To expect perfection is cavalier, but to know that mistakes are a part of the journey is wisdom. This knowledge allows the confident woman to refuse to pity herself when something doesn’t turn out as she’d hoped or expected it would.
5. A confident & secure woman KNOWS HOW TO SAY NO
Women have too little time and too much responsibility. The demands of jobs, child care, household duties, etc. are often draining. Having time to herself seems to be a far-fetched dream for many women.
The confident woman knows her limits and her need for self care. She understands that in order to be able to accomplish all that she wants/needs to do, she MUST have adequate energy reserves from which to draw. While sympathetic and even flattered when her phone rings off the hook with others making requests of her, she is able to pick and choose those people or causes to which/whom she will devote her time and energy. She knows when she needs to politely decline so that she will have time to recharge herself or to ward off becoming overwhelmed. She also does not feel a need to offer apologies or excuses for needing to do so.
6. A confident & secure woman TRUSTS HER INNER VOICE
While she may occasionally feel uncertain or seek the counsel of others, the confident woman knows deep down that her own heart will give her the direction she needs. While this intuition may be said to be a characteristic of all women, it is one that becomes refined only with age, wisdom and experience. The secure woman will carefully consider all the information at her disposal, seek advice from those she respects and then turn to that little voice inside of herself and become her own best counsel.
7. A confident & secure woman DOESN’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
If we allow ourselves to think too much about something or consider every little thing that could possibly come up or go awry, we can soon make mountains out of molehills. The secure woman is able to separate the chaff from the grain and focus only on those things of primary concern to her in any situation. She does not micro manage herself or her affairs. Rather, she focuses on the broader picture along with the key ingredients that are needed to solve her problem or reach her goal. She possesses inner strength and the wisdom to be able to create, change and adapt as necessary.
1. A confident & secure woman REPOSITIONS HERSELF
A confident woman never forgets the one thing that never changes –THINGS CONSTANTLY CHANGE.
With the winds of change ever blowing, a secure woman realizes that she may not currently possess all the tools that will take her to her goal, but she’s always ready to learn what she needs to know in order to get there. This may mean going back to school, changing job or vocations or even moving to a different location, but she is ready, willing and able to adapt to changing circumstances.
2. A confident & secure woman KNOWS HOW TO GIVE AND TAKE
A confident woman understands that the gift is in the giving. She knows the laws that tell her what she gives will return to her several times over. She will give her time, energy and even her heart to those who need her. However, she also knows that she is not a super human and she does not over-extend herself. She regularly takes time for herself! She also recognizes that she has limits and, at times, finds herself in a position of needing assistance and is not afraid to ask for what she needs.
3. A confident & secure woman LIVES IN THE PRESENT
Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future is the bread of idleness that a confident woman refuses to eat. When recalling the past, she does not allow herself to dwell there but, rather, refocuses on the here and now. She understands that her past experiences, whether joyful or painful, are a part of her and have made her the confident person that she is today. She learns from the past and uses that information for current decision making. She has hopes for the future and engages in the occasional daydream while keeping herself solidly in the present tense of her life.
4. A confident & secure woman KEEPS HERE EYE ON THE PRIZE
Not everything we do comes up roses. To expect perfection is cavalier, but to know that mistakes are a part of the journey is wisdom. This knowledge allows the confident woman to refuse to pity herself when something doesn’t turn out as she’d hoped or expected it would.
5. A confident & secure woman KNOWS HOW TO SAY NO
Women have too little time and too much responsibility. The demands of jobs, child care, household duties, etc. are often draining. Having time to herself seems to be a far-fetched dream for many women.
The confident woman knows her limits and her need for self care. She understands that in order to be able to accomplish all that she wants/needs to do, she MUST have adequate energy reserves from which to draw. While sympathetic and even flattered when her phone rings off the hook with others making requests of her, she is able to pick and choose those people or causes to which/whom she will devote her time and energy. She knows when she needs to politely decline so that she will have time to recharge herself or to ward off becoming overwhelmed. She also does not feel a need to offer apologies or excuses for needing to do so.
6. A confident & secure woman TRUSTS HER INNER VOICE
While she may occasionally feel uncertain or seek the counsel of others, the confident woman knows deep down that her own heart will give her the direction she needs. While this intuition may be said to be a characteristic of all women, it is one that becomes refined only with age, wisdom and experience. The secure woman will carefully consider all the information at her disposal, seek advice from those she respects and then turn to that little voice inside of herself and become her own best counsel.
7. A confident & secure woman DOESN’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
If we allow ourselves to think too much about something or consider every little thing that could possibly come up or go awry, we can soon make mountains out of molehills. The secure woman is able to separate the chaff from the grain and focus only on those things of primary concern to her in any situation. She does not micro manage herself or her affairs. Rather, she focuses on the broader picture along with the key ingredients that are needed to solve her problem or reach her goal. She possesses inner strength and the wisdom to be able to create, change and adapt as necessary.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
8 Maariiage Ruts... Are you in One?
8 Marriage Ruts: Are You In One?
Whether you've been married for three months or three years, here's how to get out of routines that hurt your relationship. By The Nest Editors
Rut #1: Watching TV During DinnerWhy it's bad: Having dinner together offers valuable face time with your partner. Turning on the tube competes for attention and cuts in on your time to catch up and connect after so many hours spent apart.How to stop: Set aside 30 to 45 minutes of one-on-one talk time with the TV off every night. This shows your spouse that when you're not at work, you're devoted to your home and family. During this time, ignore your phone and leave the BlackBerry in another room. You'll feel closer within days.
Rut #2: Going Too Long Without SexWhy it's bad: If the amount of sex you're used to having starts to slide, your body and brain can get used to the decreased intimacy, causing you to go even longer without wanting that closeness.How to stop: Don't wait until you feel like doing it. Initiate sex when you're open to doing it, rather than when you have the desire. This will jump-start your feelings so you'll crave it more often.
Rut #3: Going a Whole Workday Without Talking to Your SweetheartWhy it's bad: You'll start growing apart emotionally after subconsciously feeling like the other person doesn't think about you (and your needs) during the day.How to stop: Initiate daily contact by sending a quick "How's your day?" email. And make the effort to do something nice every day (pick up his fave dessert, call from the store to see if she needs something). It shows forethought and consideration for your partner's needs.
Rut #4: Tuning Each Other OutWhy it's bad: You're disengaging from each other.How to stop: Make an effort to do small things such as kissing before saying good-bye, making eye contact when talking, and complimenting each other frequently throughout the week. Does he not seem to hear you talking during certain times (ahem, when ESPN is on)? Don't try to make conversation while the TV is on. If it's important, press mute; otherwise, save conversations for dinner or your bedroom, where you're less likely to be interrupted.
Rut #5: Not FightingWhy it's bad: Disagreements are good in a marriage because you're expressing your individuality. Talking about issues when they first happen makes them easier to fix than if you wait until after they've festered.How to stop: Bring up what's on your mind in a way that shows your admiration and respect for each other's thoughts and feelings. Like, "It hurts my feelings when ______. I was hoping we could figure out a new way to handle the situation together." This will set the tone of the conversation as loving and calm, but you both have to compromise to keep it that way.
Rut #6: Going out More with Friends Than with Your SpouseWhy it's bad: It sends the message that your friends are more worthy of your time.How to stop: Schedule nights out with your crew a few times a month, but make sure to let your partner know in advance. It's important to have these friendships as long as they don't make your married time sparse. And it's always best that these friends are people your partner knows and trusts, so there's less reason to worry.
Rut #7: Being Too CloseWhy it's bad: As much as you think burping, scratching, picking, or farting is funny or cute, it can backfire and cross the line. It may be a reflection of your closeness, but there should be a limit. Otherwise, you're leaving your partner with a very unsexy image of you.How to stop: Start a new rule. If you wouldn't do it in front of your work friends, don't do it in front of your honey. To get your mate to refrain, say: "I know we're close, and we can share everything, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave the room, or leave me out, when you do that. It's not very sexy, and I don't want anything that makes you less sexy to me."
Rut #8: Sharing Too Much with Your Parents or In-lawsWhy it's bad: This shows a lack of loyalty to your spouse. Your parents shouldn't have any information that your spouse doesn't have. And they shouldn't know anything he wouldn't want them to know.How to stop: Be loyal to your spouse even when she's not present. If you wouldn't say something in front of her, don't say it at all. You would want the same in return.
[Nestpert] Dr. Susan Fletcher is a licensed psychologist in private practice and the author of Parenting in the Smart Zone
Whether you've been married for three months or three years, here's how to get out of routines that hurt your relationship. By The Nest Editors
Rut #1: Watching TV During DinnerWhy it's bad: Having dinner together offers valuable face time with your partner. Turning on the tube competes for attention and cuts in on your time to catch up and connect after so many hours spent apart.How to stop: Set aside 30 to 45 minutes of one-on-one talk time with the TV off every night. This shows your spouse that when you're not at work, you're devoted to your home and family. During this time, ignore your phone and leave the BlackBerry in another room. You'll feel closer within days.
Rut #2: Going Too Long Without SexWhy it's bad: If the amount of sex you're used to having starts to slide, your body and brain can get used to the decreased intimacy, causing you to go even longer without wanting that closeness.How to stop: Don't wait until you feel like doing it. Initiate sex when you're open to doing it, rather than when you have the desire. This will jump-start your feelings so you'll crave it more often.
Rut #3: Going a Whole Workday Without Talking to Your SweetheartWhy it's bad: You'll start growing apart emotionally after subconsciously feeling like the other person doesn't think about you (and your needs) during the day.How to stop: Initiate daily contact by sending a quick "How's your day?" email. And make the effort to do something nice every day (pick up his fave dessert, call from the store to see if she needs something). It shows forethought and consideration for your partner's needs.
Rut #4: Tuning Each Other OutWhy it's bad: You're disengaging from each other.How to stop: Make an effort to do small things such as kissing before saying good-bye, making eye contact when talking, and complimenting each other frequently throughout the week. Does he not seem to hear you talking during certain times (ahem, when ESPN is on)? Don't try to make conversation while the TV is on. If it's important, press mute; otherwise, save conversations for dinner or your bedroom, where you're less likely to be interrupted.
Rut #5: Not FightingWhy it's bad: Disagreements are good in a marriage because you're expressing your individuality. Talking about issues when they first happen makes them easier to fix than if you wait until after they've festered.How to stop: Bring up what's on your mind in a way that shows your admiration and respect for each other's thoughts and feelings. Like, "It hurts my feelings when ______. I was hoping we could figure out a new way to handle the situation together." This will set the tone of the conversation as loving and calm, but you both have to compromise to keep it that way.
Rut #6: Going out More with Friends Than with Your SpouseWhy it's bad: It sends the message that your friends are more worthy of your time.How to stop: Schedule nights out with your crew a few times a month, but make sure to let your partner know in advance. It's important to have these friendships as long as they don't make your married time sparse. And it's always best that these friends are people your partner knows and trusts, so there's less reason to worry.
Rut #7: Being Too CloseWhy it's bad: As much as you think burping, scratching, picking, or farting is funny or cute, it can backfire and cross the line. It may be a reflection of your closeness, but there should be a limit. Otherwise, you're leaving your partner with a very unsexy image of you.How to stop: Start a new rule. If you wouldn't do it in front of your work friends, don't do it in front of your honey. To get your mate to refrain, say: "I know we're close, and we can share everything, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave the room, or leave me out, when you do that. It's not very sexy, and I don't want anything that makes you less sexy to me."
Rut #8: Sharing Too Much with Your Parents or In-lawsWhy it's bad: This shows a lack of loyalty to your spouse. Your parents shouldn't have any information that your spouse doesn't have. And they shouldn't know anything he wouldn't want them to know.How to stop: Be loyal to your spouse even when she's not present. If you wouldn't say something in front of her, don't say it at all. You would want the same in return.
[Nestpert] Dr. Susan Fletcher is a licensed psychologist in private practice and the author of Parenting in the Smart Zone
Monday, July 21, 2008
I feared
I Feared UNTIL……!!! I feared being aloneUntil I learned to like Myself.I feared failureUntil I realized that I only Fail when I don't try.I feared successUntil I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself..************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
I feared people's opinionsUntil I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway. I feared rejectionUntil I learned to have faith in myself.I feared painUntil I learned that it's necessary for growth************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******
I feared the truthUntil I saw the ugliness in lies.I feared lifeUntil I experienced its beauty .I feared deathUntil I realized that it's not an end, but a beginning. ************ ********* ********* ********* ****** I feared my destiny,Until I realized that I had the power to change my life.I feared hateUntil I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance.I feared loveUntil it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******I feared ridiculeUntil I learned how to laugh at myself. I feared growing oldUntil I realized that I gained wisdom every day.I feared the futureUntil I realized that Life just kept getting better.I feared the past Until I realized that It could no longer hurt me.************ ********* ********* ********* **
I feared the darkUntil I saw the beauty of the starlight.I feared the lightUntil I learned that the Truth would give me Strength.I feared change,Until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a Metamorphosis before it could fly.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *
I feared people's opinionsUntil I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway. I feared rejectionUntil I learned to have faith in myself.I feared painUntil I learned that it's necessary for growth************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******
I feared the truthUntil I saw the ugliness in lies.I feared lifeUntil I experienced its beauty .I feared deathUntil I realized that it's not an end, but a beginning. ************ ********* ********* ********* ****** I feared my destiny,Until I realized that I had the power to change my life.I feared hateUntil I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance.I feared loveUntil it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******I feared ridiculeUntil I learned how to laugh at myself. I feared growing oldUntil I realized that I gained wisdom every day.I feared the futureUntil I realized that Life just kept getting better.I feared the past Until I realized that It could no longer hurt me.************ ********* ********* ********* **
I feared the darkUntil I saw the beauty of the starlight.I feared the lightUntil I learned that the Truth would give me Strength.I feared change,Until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a Metamorphosis before it could fly.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *
Thursday, July 10, 2008
8 Hiring MistakesEmployers Make
Hiring decisions that result in "bad" hires sap your organization's time, training resources, and psychic energy. These are the top hiring mistakes to avoid during your recruiting and hiring process. Do these eight activities with care; your recruiting, interviewing and hiring practices will result in better hires. Better hires will help you develop a strong, healthy, productive, competitive organization.
Here are eight recruiting and hiring mistakes to avoid.
1. Do Not Pre-screen Candidates
A half hour phone call can save hours of your organization's time. Pre-screening applicants is a must for recruiting and hiring the best employees. You can discover whether the candidate has the knowledge and experience you need. You can screen for applicants who expect a salary that is out of your league. You can gain a sense about the person's congruity with your culture. Always pre-screen applicants.
2. Fail to Prepare the Candidate
If your applicant fails to ask about your company and the specifics of the job for which he or she has applied, help the applicant out. Prepare your applicants better for the interview, so interviewers spend their time on the important issues: determining the candidate's skills and fit within your culture. Prepare the candidate by describing the company, the details of the position, the background and titles of the interviewers, and whatever will eliminate time wasting while the candidate interviews within your company.
3. Fail to Prepare the Interviewers
You wouldn't choose a college for your child or launch a project without a plan. Why, then, do organizations put so little planning into interviewing candidates for positions? Interviewers need to meet in advance and create a plan. Who is responsible for which types of questions? What aspect of the candidate's credentials is each person assessing? Who is assessing culture fit. Plan to succeed in employee selection in advance.
4. Rely on the Interview to Evaluate a Candidate
The interview is a lot of talk. And most frequently, because applicants are not prepped in advance, a lot of interview time is spent giving the candidate information about your organization. Even more time is invested in different interviewers asking the candidate the same questions over and over.
During an interview, candidates tell you what they think you want to hear because they want to successfully obtain a job offer. Organizations are smart when they develop several methods for evaluating candidates in addition to the interview.
According to the Chally Group, a Human Resources consulting firm, in, The Most Common Hiring Mistakes, research at the University of Michigan found that, "The typical interview increases the likelihood of choosing the best candidate by less than 2%. In other words, if you just 'flipped' a coin you would be correct 50% of the time. If you added an interview you would only be right 52% of the time."
5. Do Nothing But Talk During an Interview
Every interview needs to have components other than questions, answers and discussion. Walk the candidate through the company. Ask about his or her experience with situations you point out during the walk. In a manufacturing company, ask how the candidate would improve a process.
Watch the candidate perform a task such as separating parts or components to get a feel for their "hands-on" ability. Have a documentation or writing candidate write a description of the steps in one of your work processes. See how quickly a person learns a particular task. Ask how the candidate would approach improving the quality of a given accounting process.
As long as you use tests and tasks that are directly related to the position for which the individual is interviewing, you will earn reams of relevent information to use in your selection process.
6. Evaluate "Personality," Not Job Skills and Experience
Sure, it would be nice for you to like everyone at work. But, this is much less important than recruiting the strongest, smartest, best candidates you can find. People tend to hire people who are similar to themselves. They are the most comfortable with those candidates, of course.
This will kill your organization over time. You need diverse people with diverse personalities to deal with diverse employees and customers. Think about the customer that drives you crazy. Isn't it likely that a new employee with a similar personality would have the same problem? Likewise, hiring a candidate because you enjoyed and liked him or her, as the main qualification, ignores your need for particular skills and experience. Don't do it.
7. Fail to Differentiate, Via Testing and Discussion, the Critical Job Skills
How do you differentiate one candidate from another? Everyone has a "wish list" for all of the qualities, skills, personality factors, experience and interests you want to see in your selected employee. You must decide on, and perhaps, test, the skills you most desire in your candidate.
What are the three - four most critical factors for contribution and success given the job, the skills of the other employees and the needs of your customers? Once you have identified these, you cannot "settle" on a candidate that does not bring these to your workplace. Or you will fail.
8. Develop a Small Candidate Pool
Take the time to build a candidate pool with several candidates who meet the needs of your organization. If you don't have to make a choice among several qualified candidates, your pool is too small. Don't "settle" for someone if you don't have the right person with the skills and experience you need. It's better to reopen your search.
These mistakes are often fatal to a candidate's ultimate success within your organization. If you do these activities successfully, you increase the probability of a happy, successful employee contributing what you need from him or her to your organization.
Here are eight recruiting and hiring mistakes to avoid.
1. Do Not Pre-screen Candidates
A half hour phone call can save hours of your organization's time. Pre-screening applicants is a must for recruiting and hiring the best employees. You can discover whether the candidate has the knowledge and experience you need. You can screen for applicants who expect a salary that is out of your league. You can gain a sense about the person's congruity with your culture. Always pre-screen applicants.
2. Fail to Prepare the Candidate
If your applicant fails to ask about your company and the specifics of the job for which he or she has applied, help the applicant out. Prepare your applicants better for the interview, so interviewers spend their time on the important issues: determining the candidate's skills and fit within your culture. Prepare the candidate by describing the company, the details of the position, the background and titles of the interviewers, and whatever will eliminate time wasting while the candidate interviews within your company.
3. Fail to Prepare the Interviewers
You wouldn't choose a college for your child or launch a project without a plan. Why, then, do organizations put so little planning into interviewing candidates for positions? Interviewers need to meet in advance and create a plan. Who is responsible for which types of questions? What aspect of the candidate's credentials is each person assessing? Who is assessing culture fit. Plan to succeed in employee selection in advance.
4. Rely on the Interview to Evaluate a Candidate
The interview is a lot of talk. And most frequently, because applicants are not prepped in advance, a lot of interview time is spent giving the candidate information about your organization. Even more time is invested in different interviewers asking the candidate the same questions over and over.
During an interview, candidates tell you what they think you want to hear because they want to successfully obtain a job offer. Organizations are smart when they develop several methods for evaluating candidates in addition to the interview.
According to the Chally Group, a Human Resources consulting firm, in, The Most Common Hiring Mistakes, research at the University of Michigan found that, "The typical interview increases the likelihood of choosing the best candidate by less than 2%. In other words, if you just 'flipped' a coin you would be correct 50% of the time. If you added an interview you would only be right 52% of the time."
5. Do Nothing But Talk During an Interview
Every interview needs to have components other than questions, answers and discussion. Walk the candidate through the company. Ask about his or her experience with situations you point out during the walk. In a manufacturing company, ask how the candidate would improve a process.
Watch the candidate perform a task such as separating parts or components to get a feel for their "hands-on" ability. Have a documentation or writing candidate write a description of the steps in one of your work processes. See how quickly a person learns a particular task. Ask how the candidate would approach improving the quality of a given accounting process.
As long as you use tests and tasks that are directly related to the position for which the individual is interviewing, you will earn reams of relevent information to use in your selection process.
6. Evaluate "Personality," Not Job Skills and Experience
Sure, it would be nice for you to like everyone at work. But, this is much less important than recruiting the strongest, smartest, best candidates you can find. People tend to hire people who are similar to themselves. They are the most comfortable with those candidates, of course.
This will kill your organization over time. You need diverse people with diverse personalities to deal with diverse employees and customers. Think about the customer that drives you crazy. Isn't it likely that a new employee with a similar personality would have the same problem? Likewise, hiring a candidate because you enjoyed and liked him or her, as the main qualification, ignores your need for particular skills and experience. Don't do it.
7. Fail to Differentiate, Via Testing and Discussion, the Critical Job Skills
How do you differentiate one candidate from another? Everyone has a "wish list" for all of the qualities, skills, personality factors, experience and interests you want to see in your selected employee. You must decide on, and perhaps, test, the skills you most desire in your candidate.
What are the three - four most critical factors for contribution and success given the job, the skills of the other employees and the needs of your customers? Once you have identified these, you cannot "settle" on a candidate that does not bring these to your workplace. Or you will fail.
8. Develop a Small Candidate Pool
Take the time to build a candidate pool with several candidates who meet the needs of your organization. If you don't have to make a choice among several qualified candidates, your pool is too small. Don't "settle" for someone if you don't have the right person with the skills and experience you need. It's better to reopen your search.
These mistakes are often fatal to a candidate's ultimate success within your organization. If you do these activities successfully, you increase the probability of a happy, successful employee contributing what you need from him or her to your organization.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
The Female always makes the Rules
1. The Female always makes The Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)
7. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
8. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
9. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
10. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
11. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
13. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
14. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
15. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
16. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)
7. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
8. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
9. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
10. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
11. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
13. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
14. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
15. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
16. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
The Art of SEDUCTION
The ART of SEDUCTION., revealed!
Wanna seduce your girl?
Forget those cheesy pick-up lines and expensive colognes to impress a woman.
The winning formula to land a hot date requires nothing but a straight look into her eyes accompanied by a light touch on her arm, according to a new study. The study, by scientists at Aberdeen University, has found that two-thirds of women gave a nod to dance with a man,who requested for a dance by resting his hand on her arm for a second or two. And those who did not comply with the trick and kept their hands by their side while asking the same question had a success rate of only fifty percent. In fact, women also preferred to give their phone-number to a man who touched their arm as he approached them in the street. Published in Focus Magazine , the study said that touching makes a man appear dominant, and henceforth more attractive to the opposite sex. In fact, researcher Dr Ben Jones said that making eye contact also indicates interest in a woman, but only if it is genuine. "Smiling can make you more attractive but it is worth bearing in mind that faking a smile is quite tricky," the Telegraph quoted Jones, as saying. And those men, who find it hard to fake a smile, are advised by Jones to take extra care of their skin, or stay amidst other women to appear more appealing.
NB: this email is dedicated to all upcoming & struggling 'artists', still need to get their basics right in conquest techniques
Wanna seduce your girl?
Forget those cheesy pick-up lines and expensive colognes to impress a woman.
The winning formula to land a hot date requires nothing but a straight look into her eyes accompanied by a light touch on her arm, according to a new study. The study, by scientists at Aberdeen University, has found that two-thirds of women gave a nod to dance with a man,who requested for a dance by resting his hand on her arm for a second or two. And those who did not comply with the trick and kept their hands by their side while asking the same question had a success rate of only fifty percent. In fact, women also preferred to give their phone-number to a man who touched their arm as he approached them in the street. Published in Focus Magazine , the study said that touching makes a man appear dominant, and henceforth more attractive to the opposite sex. In fact, researcher Dr Ben Jones said that making eye contact also indicates interest in a woman, but only if it is genuine. "Smiling can make you more attractive but it is worth bearing in mind that faking a smile is quite tricky," the Telegraph quoted Jones, as saying. And those men, who find it hard to fake a smile, are advised by Jones to take extra care of their skin, or stay amidst other women to appear more appealing.
NB: this email is dedicated to all upcoming & struggling 'artists', still need to get their basics right in conquest techniques
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